NotesFromtheVoices

After all the days of rain and thunderstorms, the sun is out. I just got through covering an economic summitt. It was interesting to hear people talk about what to do about unemployment and stuff but have no clue what it is like. But hopefully that will be over soon. I have an interview next week for two editor's jobs. One is 45 minutes from my house and the other is 2 hours. I am trying to keep all of my options open. And also remember that the unemployment will run out in about a month. I have been applying for jobs with a very open mind. Last night, my hubby and I went out to this wing place with some friends of his. My hubby ordered 100 hot wings and ate about 60 something. His friend ate 10. I ordered 12 terakyi wings and french fries. I ate nine wings in one sitting. Usually I ate four or five. It stunned everyone because they figured I take the rest home. I had a nice time. I am trying to be more sociable. I find myself trying to isolate some days so I'm taking on more w...

Last night, I received an interesting email from the editor of the newspaper that I freelance for. His wife had written him an email about me-- "Also, editor JaJB came by with my real name's resume and asked, "Take a look at this and tell me if you know this person and if she would be a good candidate for any of the weekly jobs." I took one look at it, and handed it back and said, "An excellent candidate." And he said, "OK, that was easy." and walked away. Sorry if we just stole your best reporter. w. And that, my friend, is love???"--said the editor. I jumped up and down like I had just won some money on a game show after reading this. My hubby and son were watching tv in the living room. My son asked, "Mommy are you okay? Do we need to call someone?" I told him that mommy was just really happy. I don't know what this means but maybe something good will happen. I am still applying for jobs. I am a ton of assignments lined up fo...

This is where I keep my ambitions, my desires and my goals--all in a neat little list. Some may be huge and others may seem insignificant but they are all the things I want to do in my lifetime. CREATE Be able to make enough money doing what I love and not having a "day" job. Publish an article in a magazine. Write a novel or memoir. Or both. Being able to make a living freelancing. Win a writing prize-- I won honorable mention in the Carolina Woman essay contest in May of 2009. TRAVEL Attend the James Dean Festival. Get a passport. Take a vacation where all I do is lay on the beach and drink fruity "beach" drinks. Go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans Go on a cruise. Spend New Years Eve in Las Vegas. See the pyramids in Egypt. Ride in a submarine. Visit every state. Drive cross country. Run with the bulls in Spain (I don’t mind if I don’t go the whole distance. Be welcomed with a lei as I arrive in Hawaii Attend the Kentucky Derby. BECAUSE I WANT TO.... Plan a wedding-- ...

This is going to be a long post since I haven’t updated in awhile. Yesterday, JJ had an appointment with the original neurologist. It went okay. The next few days will be busy with freelance stuff. The editor is taking next week off for his anniversary. He asked me if I would be interested in covering the a town council meeting and a county commissioner meeting. Can we say YES!!! I love government meetings. I always watch the latest Mecklenburg County Commissioners meeting when it comes on late at night. I know I’m a geek but I love those meetings. On Memorial Day, we took JJ to his second movie. Another 50 cent special. The choices that were JJ acceptable were Hotel for Dogs, Escape from Witch Mountain or Paul Blatt—Mall Cop. We saw the Mall Cop. I couldn’t sit through the other two. JJ loved it. And of course, we went to McDonalds for food and the Playland. My mood has improved. I just have to stay strong and know things will look up. The oven part of our stove went out a few weeks a...

It is Friday. I am adjusting to the new dosages for my two medicines. I hate being on medication but for now it is the best solution. Until I can find some consistent care for my ED, I stay on the meds. I have noticed since I started on seroquel and remeron that I have vivid dreams. At times, the dreams seem like real life. The situation has not been resolved about the car. I owe no apologies because on this I am right. I didn’t back into my own car so I shouldn’t have to pay for it. I know my husband and sister-in-law are stressed because of their mother’s illness and the lion’s share of the burden is on them. But there is no reason everything should be taken out on me. I am trying to be a good person but there comes a moment when a person has to stand up for what is right. Plus, I know that my mother-in-law agrees with me. JJ and I have been taking care of the kittens. It is not easy being a surrogate mother but so far the kittens are doing fine. I have watched a ton of PBS in the la...

My son has decided he is my assistant. He tells everyone that his job is to help Mommy. He blew off a chance to spend some time helping his daddy because he wanted to help me do laundry. He carried the laundry detergent and put the money in the machines. I am miffed at my hubby right now. A few weeks ago, my hubby's niece accidentally backed into my car. Since my hubby, my sister-in-law and her daughters are on the same insurance policy, we decided to handle it without insurance companies. I figured that the way A drives, it would be a matter of time before she bumps someone's else car. So the search has been to find doors to replace the damaged ones on the passenger side. I was informed today it would cost me about $250 for the doors and labor. My reply was "why do I have to pay, I didn't back into my own car!" My sister-in-law thought because she asked a friend to fix the car at a reduce rate and find the doors that I would pay for the rest. I am miffed because ...

Since I am no longer in the study, I had to go back to Dr. S at the local mental health agency. I don’t like him. He doesn’t understand EDs and thinks it is a matter of taking meds and getting out of bed. I need the prescription from him in order to get my meds for $20. I can’t wait until I get a job with benefits so I will not have to deal with him anymore. My benefits have been cut severely so I will not be able to see Dr. Isla so I am going back to the group therapy at the mental health agency. This is only temporary until I either my benefits run out and Medicaid will have to take me or I find a job. One thing that made me happy about my visit with Dr. S. I am still holding steady at 110 lbs. It hasn’t been easy because there have been some down days. Still 110 and not freaking out. JJ is with me full-time now so I have to be at the top of my game. He needs me healthy and clear headed and so do my hubby, MIL and my mother. So many people depend on me being healthy. It is a lot of ...

It is Monday. I still haven’t heard anything yet from the newspaper job three hours away. I’ll e-mail today to see if a decision is in the works. But I have heard from some others. For example, the new editor of the newspaper in Florence received my resume and is interested in talking with me. He commutes from Charlotte to Florence everyday. I think he goes right back my house each day. I also have applied for the position of lifestyles editor at a newspaper. Yesterday, my son had a teachable moment that no 3-year-old should have. I had to tell him about the death of the mommy cat. Thank goodness, he had spent the weekend with his aunt. I got up early to go buy the Sunday paper. As I waited in the driveway for traffic to slow down, I noticed a bloody lump of fur in the middle of the road. After closer inspection, I realized it was her. We lived on a busy stretch of road with 18 wheelers, dump trucks and tons of cars. Not to mention all the construction to widen the two lanes to a fou...

Today, my in-laws have been married 44 or 45 years. As a family, we are suppose to go out to dinner tonight. It will be interesting event. I got an email from the Regional Editor of a bunch of small weeklies in the area. I applied for a job as the editor of one of the papers that is about 45 minutes away. The Regional editor asked me if I would be interested in applying for a weekly 2 hours and 30 minutes away. Why not! What do I have to lose? I am meeting with Dr. S about tweaking my meds because I have been at the bare minimum dosage for awhile and I don't think they are working. I have found recovery to be a combination of meds, therapy and me. The only thing working right now is therapy. I went to the grocery store yesterday. I told myself that instead of trying to get all the stuff in 10 minutes. I would allow myself to linger for 30 minutes. Found some great deals on sliced ham and turkey. Also got some brats for a steal. I think for lunch I will grill up a few with some onio...

JJ and I did some cleaning yesterday. He helped me vacuum and straightened up his room. Afterwards, he said he was tired and needed a break. He played with his dinosaurs while I took a quick nap. Our lazy day yesterday ended with Chinese food. My hubby, JJ and I met with one of my hubby's friends at a Chinese restuarant in the next county over. Definitely, not one of the best Chinese places but the tea was good and the chicken and broccoli was good. It was nice to get out of the house and socialize. JJ was happy with blue and red jello and chicken on a stick. JJ fell asleep in the car on the way home which meant bedtime was late. And I was on bedtime duty while my hubby slept. We watched Chicken Run, which eventually put JJ to sleep. Not a bad movie. Today, the guys are running errands while I am emailing stories and doing some job hunting. I haven't heard anything about the job yet. I assume this is because there were so many applicants. If I hadn't heard anything by next ...

Yesterday, my son and I had a photo session with the cats. He introduced the mommy cat to his robot girl. There are more pictures to come. I have been working at it. But I think I finally got my son on regular bedtime schedule. He went to bed at 8:45 p.m. However, he was up by 7:30 a.m. He told me he had a good nap. A three-year-old concept of time is interesting. I watched the two hour season finale of Lost . I. Love. Lost . It was excellent with perfectly timed commercial breaks to give me time to say OMG a lot. My husband had to calm me down at one point because I go so excited. Next season is the show’s final season. I can’t imagine what they have in store for the faithful viewers like me. It’s a damn shame that I’ll have to wait until 2010 for it. At the same time, I was listening to American Idol in the other room to see who would be in the final two. I’m sad for Danny Gokey go but Adam is going to the finale. YES!!! I know it seems like I have no life but sometimes we do what we...

Today has been one of those lazy days. A day where you watch kid’s tv. I haven’t watched Sesame Street in forever but the emphasis seems to be more on Elmo than the others. Elmo gets almost 20 minutes of his own. Now we are dressed and ready to head to the library, park and to see JJ’s grandparents. We had a chance to take some photos of the mommy cat and kittens. So it is shaping up to be an interesting lazy day. Yesterday evening I took my mother-in-law (MIL) her mother’s day present. She loved it. She took me outside to talk about her doctor’s appointment. I asked her if she was okay. Years ago, the doctors’ were worried about her health. At the time, my hubby and his siblings were young. She said she prayed to God to let her see her children get older and be able to care for themselves. Now that they are older, she said, she can go in peace. MIL has such a zen attitude about this. Honestly, I would be freaking out. But this is how she is how she is 24/7. Nothing seems to ruffle her...

Thanks for all the positive comments and energy. I think I doing okay. The doctor told my mother-in-law that the best case scenario for her is one year. My father-in-law is not doing okay with this. My husband went to eat. JJ is at a playdate with his cousins so I hit the library. Some of my best thinking and relaxing has been done at the library. I am still trying to wrap my head around all of this. I mean how do you tell a three-year-old that the lady he had deemed the "best woman ever" is dying. So for right now, he knows nothing. We'll figure the rest out later. I talked to my mother which made me feel better. My mother told me that my mother-in-law is stronger than her. "I told the doctors not to tell me how long I had."--she said. "I'll know when I wake up in heaven with your grandparents." Eleven years ago, I would not have been able to talk to her. At the time, we had a 30 minute rule--we could only deal with each other in 30 minute increme...

I feel like everything is in a holding pattern. My husband's census job ended early, which put us in a slight bind. And my unemployment benefits were cut. As much as I love freelancing, I am going to have to find something soon. I mean I'm not giving up freelancing or looking for a journalism job. Usually when I go online, I leave my son with my in-laws. However, today is my mother-in-law's appointment that will give her a time frame. My husband is visiting with our lawyer because the farmer who owns the land around us is saying property that belongs to us belongs to him. And yesterday, there was police and stuff. So things are just crazy right now. Sorry for any typos or run-ons but my son is on my lap and I am typing fast as I can before storytime. Aunt Lera is paralyzed on her right side and will need therapy. She wants to remain in Philly but I don't see that as an option. I am trying to be a good wife and friend to my hubby right now because I know he is stressed. ...

I had a great Mother's Day. I spent it with my family. My son and I went over to see my mom and my family. It was nice. My brother cooked the dinner. Afterwards, we sat outside talking and watching the kids play. Of course, I managed to get park duty so I took my son, my nephew and my cousin to the park where they had a grand old time. Park duty means breaking up fights, kissing boo boos and playing. I am tired but happy. This morning I covered a teen pregnancy prevention breakfast. It was a nice spread. I thought only my mother-in-law could cook excellent grits. I was wrong. Some of the best grits I have had in a looong time. The event made me think. They gave all the stats about teen pregnancy. I am a product of teen pregnancy. My mom was 15 and in the 11th grade when she had me. She doesn't have a high school diploma or GED but she did pretty good. She has always told me that she was fortunate and blessed to find a good job and have the help of my grandmother. Watching them ...

I have been busy trying to make sure the house looks decent for Mother's Day. I had a helper helping me with it all. My son dried some small bowls. He helped to vacuum and organized the dvds JJ style. Now, we are at my sister-in-laws making cookies for my husband. He loves peanut butter cookies so we decided to surprise him. Overall, it has been a pretty decent day. I have tried to stay busy so I want think so much. I also had a chance to watch my son favorite movie, Cars . I have seen this movie so many times I can be in another room and still know what is going on. It's a great movie. I am trying to talk my son into watching the Wizard of Oz. We are trying to give poor Spiderman a rest. I will try to get some pictures of the kitties in the next few days. They are a little shy right now. But they are so cute. I am looking forward to Mother's Day because it means my mother is still surviving. And she is and enjoying every minute of it. My brother is cooking the Mother'...

It’s a beautiful Saturday morning. I am finishing up my story from yesterday. The newspaper brought me a nice digital camera so I have been trying to figure it out. I took a picture of my muse, Monkey. She always hangs around while I write. My son named her. Yesterday, my husband brought home a mother cat and three kittens. James Edward has the responsibility of naming them so it will be interesting so see what he comes up with. Anyway, I left the boys watching cartoons and discussing who is stronger Iron Man or Spiderman. I need to get some stuff out of my head. I miss the structure of Chapel Hill. Some days are good for eating and some days I have to talk myself through them. It is hard to be accountable to myself when I am so used to eating whenever and wherever. My ED is woven in so deep within me that I am trying to figure where it ends and where I begin. I like my new therapist but hate that all we can afford is to see her twice a month. But it is better than nothing. I donated ...

My son and I had a good day together. Then he complained of a headache. So off to his pediatrician we went. It turns out it was just allergies. This gave me a little scare but I handled it like a pro. The pediatrician had a slight attitude because we went for a second opinion about the medication and JJ's diagnosis of possible epilesy. I think it is best from now on if I or my sister-in-law takes JJ to the doctor. My hubby does not take attitude well and is still angry about the pediatrician telling him that she could have us jailed for withholding the meds. Today, I am covering a luncheon for the newspaper that I freelance for. The paper has brought a camera for me to use. This was very nice of them. It is nice being a reporter again. I so love being in the thick of things. Last night, I found out that my husband favorite aunt, Lera, had a massive stroke. So his mom and her brother and sister are headed to Philly as I write. I really like Lera. She is a tough old lady. A few years...

Yesterday was busy and so was today. I guess it helps me to keep me from stressing about the job. The interview was about two hours long and went well. It was basically them telling me their expecatations for the job. And me trying to get a word in edgewise. But overall, I was pleased and was able to handle them. I got a tour of the building and had a chance to talk with the assistant editors. There are more than 200 applicants for the job so the competition is very fierce. If I get this job, it will take me way out of my comfort zone. A daily newspaper is very different from a weekly. A few months ago, I would not have been up for the challenge. But now I am. It will be a lot of work but I'm ready. I got home about a little after 11. JJ was waiting up for me to show a picture that he drew for me. JJ was pleased with the new look of his room and the bed. "That's bed came from my room at grandma's!"--he said. Today was JJ's WIC recertification. It was not as lo...

Last night, while my husband slept, I paced back and forth in my high heels. When I need to think, I pace in these gorgeous high heels that I brought two years ago. I wasn't nervous. I just needed to think. I am at a crossroads where things could go either way. Either way is good. If I get this job, it will be full-time doing what I want and where I want to live with excellent benefits. If I don't get it, I can still freelance for two different newspapers and explore other options. It was a good pacing around the living room. I am on the road to my job interview but had to make a little pitstop for a little breakfast (sausage biscuit and gravy) and some wifi. No matter what happens today, I will do my best. Four months ago, I wasn't in this frame of mind. It is amazing the combination of good therapy, support and medication can do for a person. Tuesday night is American Idol and Fringe at my house. Both my husband and I look forward to it. My husband was going to grill chi...

I finally got the state to realize that my son does not have insurance and can have his medicaid free and clear. YES!!!! It has taken three months but I finally found someone who listened and changed the status in the computer. I feel like I have climbed Mount Everest. I feel good. I celebrated with a foot long chili dog and Cherry Limeade at Sonic. And I drive up tomorrow for the interview at the newspaper. Now I am about to conquer Mount St. Laundry. The editor of the newspaper I work for gave me heads up about an editor's position at a nearby newspaper. He said he didn't want my talent to go to waste. Today is a pretty good day.

It's the type of day that makes a person want to stay in bed. But I got things to do. The interview was a no go yesterday. The editor got sick so the interview was moved to tomorrow at 3 p.m. It may be in person at the newspaper or a conference call. I will know for sure later today.If it is in person, I will have to drive up and back in the same day. My son has a WIC recertification on Thursday. The WIC folks are picky about who brings the child to the appointment and only my husband and I have authorization to bring him to appointments. My house looks awesome. Awesome. My husband came home yesterday evening and was amazed how great the place looked. All signs of the ants are gone. At least for now. My son now has a big boy bed, actually a grown up one from his grandparents' house. He loves the bed because the headboard has a sliding door where he can put his toys to sleep when he goes to bed. We found some Transformer sheets on deep discount so he will be very happy. We have ...

Ribbon of the blog, fragments treasures memory, surprised me with the "One Lovely Blog Award". This means a lot to me coming from her. She has a outstanding blog that is filled with a lot of postivity and good vibes. I make it a point to visit her blog every day for some goodness. So thanks a bunch!!! It is Monday once again. After filing for my benefits, I got to work on the cleaning the house. We had to exterminate for some huge ants. These suckers were big. I'm taking a break to run errands and rest. Later this afternoon, I will have a phone interview with the editor and managing editor for the newspaper job. I'm not nervous about that. I am more nervous about the ants coming back. I had a great weekend. To say my son was happy would be the understatement of the year. Our family day started Saturday with a stop at the Salvation Army. JJ got to pick out some videos while I looked for books. One of his picks was Godzilla along with Bob the Builder, the Land Before Ti...

My husband has declared today as a family day. So we are headed to the free comic day at a comic book store in Charlotte. We plan to surprise JJ with not only free comic books but a paid comic book of his choice. A teachable moment of making your own choice and one choice. I know JJ will bat those pretty eye lashes and give me a cute smile to convince to get him two comic books. It's kind of windy so we are going to fly a kite. And not just any kite--Iron Man. He is going to be soooo surprised. I plan to take tons of pictures. I'm looking forward to a wonderful day with my favorite two guys. To everyone, have a good Saturday and a most excellent Sunday! Daily Dose 1. My sweet JJ 2. My hubby

I may have a calling in this lawncare thing. I just got through cutting the grass at my house. After a quick breakfast of leftovers. The bread was moldy so I couldn't have my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I started at 8 a.m. while it was cool and many breaks later, I am done. I have always found cutting grass to be relaxing. While working, I had time to think about things. A year ago, I wouldn't have been able to do this. I got dizzy just walking to the mailbox. That's not me in the picture but it sums up how I feel right now. The news about my mother-in-law has made me think. Here is this super cool lady who would give the shirt off her back. She has known for awhile that she was sick but didn't let it stop her from living. I say the same about my mom. Her doctors would like for her to quit working and go permanent disability because of her cancer but she refuses because she says she got a lot more to give. Both of these courgeous ladies make me even more determine...