Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Reaching out before it's too late

Lately, it seems like I have become the confessional for my friends. I know the secrets, fears and hopes of many people. Confession is good for the soul. 
I am glad to be an outlet for them but sadly I haven’t confess much back.

So I make my confessions here. I love my new job. I feel energized and hope I am making a difference. I feel like I am being challenged again.

On the surface things look great but truthfully, I am scared and  I am slipping. I have lost weight. It hasn’t been a conscious effort but it has happened. I have went from a size 4-6 range to probably size four and dropping. I am not restricting and I eat two meals a day. But the meals may not be the most healthy.

Being honest, the move was stressful, quick and wiped out me out financially. I am having trouble reconnecting with my old friends. I am not the same person I was six years ago when I live here. At that time, I was firmly in ED’s grip. I had pretty much decided that ED would eventually kill me. And when I lost my job in 2008, I relapse hard.

Since then, I have come a long way. But I am not the same person I was. I am a little more guarded and lot more reclusive. I maintain contact but have kept many at arms length.

But in the last few months with no insurance, I have stopped taking my meds. I have insurance again. I am at the crossroads of finding a new therapist, doctor and getting back on meds or not.
I really don’t want to be on meds but at the same time I can’t really afford to relapse, have an episode and end up in the hospital.
In the last few weeks, there have been some signs that tell me I need help.

Moment 1: I have a little stomach pooch. No matter how much I workout, it will not go away. I have made peace with it. I wore a cute dress last week to interview a new town clerk. The first thing she ask me was how far along was I. I tried not to let it bother me but it did. I skipped dinner and ate some string cheese. I ate  much better the same day but still was shaken by it.

Moment 2: I am very motivated to get my work done. For the newspaper, I average about 10 stories. I think this is pretty good for a weekly newspaper. But once I get home, I am not motivated to do anything.  I just want to veg on the couch with a bag of Doritos and watch Lifetime movies. I know I am depressed because I miss my friends and my life in RR. A big move like this is hard.

I needed to get this off my chest. There are so many things going on in my life right now that I should share with my bff and others but I just can’t so I write.

Writing has always helped me when I couldn’t express it verbally. I have googled the name and number of the family practice in Pickleland. I just need to make the call. There is so much more at stake.

In my previous stint in Pickleland, there were many stints on the psych floor along with a suicide attempt. I have returned and the folks at my new job don’t know about the past. I wanted to be as well-adjusted as possible. I realize that no man is an island and that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. I think I should make that call.

1. Thankful to know when a problem is becoming overwhelming.
2. The sun is shining and the birds are singing.
3. Being able to track down an elusive person on deadline for a comment.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Having the second worst job in the country

While checking my email this morning, I came across a survey saying that being a reporter is the among the 10 worst professions to have. Whaaat!!!!!!!!

According to Careercast, being a reporter is the second  worst job after being a logger.
In 2013, the job of reporter was the worst job to have.
Other worst jobs on the list included enlisted military, taxi driver, broadcaster, garbage collector and corrections officer.

I will admit the pay could be more but overall it is a good job. Each day, there is a different adventure.
Today for instance,  I have written about fire taxes, livestock and an upcoming wine and music festival.
I played junior detective and helped a lady figure out my newspaper wasn’t the one that took a photo of her house being moved but another newspaper did it. And I provided her with a phone number.
It seems the best job to have is to be a mathematician. To those who are great in math, yay for you. But to me this would be a boring job.
Last week, I interviewed a woman who is a flight attendant. It was very interesting interview.
In this job, I have interviewed everyone from a farmer to Darius Rucker (country musician and member of Hootie and Blowfish).

Of course, I have friends and family who think being a reporter is boring with sitting at a desk and writing. There is a lot of interviewing and driving especially if you work in a big county like Duplin. It takes about a hour to drive from one end of the county to the other. But I love it.
I feel blessed to be able to be paid to do what I love. I love to write. I am not the most social person but being reporter helps me remain connected to the world.
My inspiration for writing came from watching my grandmother read the newspaper everyday. She had a sixth grade education but she read it everyday. She encouraged me to be aware of not only local issues but the world around me. 

For example, most of this country doesn’t know that there is small town in North Carolina called Teachey. But those 250 people in that town, it is an important place.
On a side note, the town is having a vandalism problem. It is so bad that someone stole the sliding board out the playground. The plastic slide that a child plays on. Someone stole it. Why!!!
Anyway, my job is never boring due to the people and places I cover along with the people I work with.

My son wanted to be a reporter for two days. I didn’t discourage but I didn’t encourage it either.
Being a reporter is a calling. It takes a special breed of person who is willing to work long hours to put out a newspaper for others. A person willing to get out of bed in the middle of the night to take photos at a crime scene. 
I am happy that everyday I get to wake up, get ready and go out to be Lois Lane. I may not be taking down Lex Luthor but it is nice to give voices to people who may not have them.

1. Being able to sleep with the windows open! (Well not last night, it was cold).
2. Working at my dream job!
3. Being able to leave work at 5 p.m. today like a normal person.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Living the Dream of being Lois Lane

Last weekend, I got to cross something off of my reporter’s bucket list—being able to take photos at a fire scene.

It wasn’t real fire where someone lost their home. It was a controlled burn where a church donated a home for the fire department to burn.

 It was a rainy day. I ended up soaked to the bone and ruined a pair of shoes but I would do it again in a heartbeat.
It was nice to learn about how fire fighters trained and learn the behind-the-scenes stuff. 

Plus, I got to take some really cool photos.

I am really enjoying my new job. It will be a month on Friday. I hardly feel like a newbie.
There was no hand holding. It was really just here’s your desk, here’s your beat and now go to work.
Each day has been an adventure. But not as adventure filled as the controlled burn.

I have a few, fleeting moments of “did I make the right decision” but overall, it was worth uprooting my life.
My apartment is starting to look like an apartment instead of a depository for boxes. It looks pretty decent. Well at least until, I go back to RR to pick up more boxes.
I will try to take some photos over the weekend. Remember, I don’t have all of my furniture or stuff.
Yesterday, the weather was so nice that I opened the windows while I cleaned and listen to music. Last night, I went to bed with the window open in my bedroom. I figure if someone has the stones to climb into a second floor window, then there is really no safe place.
Sorry, I had a Criminal Minds moment for a second. I love my little apartment.

1. It is Friday!!!!
2. The weather is amazing!
3. Will be taking photos at a Superhero 5K on Saturday!

Happy New Year!!!!

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