Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A rude encounter has an happy ending!!!

Last night, I covered the monthly Sip & See series at our local Arts Council for the newspaper and magazine. I look forward to the event each month because a I feel little cultured after it.

I needed to get a crowd shot so I stood up on a chair and  ended up having a brief exchange with a man I didn't know.

Man: I know you are trying to get the picture but you need to be careful in your delicate condition.
Me: Oh! I'm not pregnant. I just had a really good December.

He apologized a lot. But I was cool with it. I didn't freak out and ED didn't get a voice in the matter. I did have a very good December. And I enjoyed every bite of it from the breakfast casseroles and ham dinners to amazing  cakes and pies. It was an AWESOME month and January hasn't been to bad either. And I am cool with it. It has been too cold to do my three days a week walk and I have been putting in some late hours. Exercise  hasn't been a major priority. So I know where the weight has come from. But I am perfectly okay with it.

I am not going to beat myself up because I have enjoyed myself and because of someone's "concern". 

In fact after talking with him, I had stood line for  food at the event. I enjoyed the bbq chicken wings, the hummus and chips, the cheese and especially the mini brownies.  Now, I still have some not so good days ED wise but they are not everyday. And it wasn't last night or today.

I am so proud of how far I have come in my recovery. I mean I still have some miles to go in it but I am proud of myself. I think I will celebrate with a red velvet cupcake tonight.


1. Being proud of me and my recovery!

2. Red velvet cupcakes!!

3. Having the joy of enjoying food again!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Snow Days and reminders of Mom

I have been fighting an awful cold. If my nose isn't running, I am coughing and feeling bad.  I have kept it contained pretty well but when you work at a newspaper and have deadlines coming for several big projects. You chug cough syrup, take Dayquil and keep going.

I think the cold stems from the fact in the last week, the highs have been just above freezing. I have bundled up the best I could but I lost the battle.

When my nose started running at work, I didn't have any Kleenex for my desk. So I took a roll of tissue from the supply closet. Work tissue is not the softest in the world so by the end of the day, my poor nose was aching.

After getting home, I don't know what made me go through a box in the laundry closet but I did. In it, I found a box of Puffs that I had gotten for my mom before she died. I think she used two. I remember when I was packing up her hospital room, I tossed the box in the other things. Seeing that blue box Wednesday night made me feel a little better. It was kind of like she was taking care of me from the Great Beyond.

By Friday, my nose was worst, the weather was freezing and a winterstorm was coming. One of the last things I did was ride shotgun with my editor and take snow photos.

Chockoyotte Park

Starbucks in the snow

After this, I drove home in it. My commute is five minutes. In bad weather, it is 15 minutes. Once I got home, I took my meds,  grab some mags and stayed in bed. Today is my first day out. I am still coughing some but I am feeling much better. I really don't have a choice, there is so much to do this week.

1. Downton Abbey Sunday!
2. Orange juice is the nectar from heaven.
3. Being able to be sick in my comfy Curious George pajamas and my blankie

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

50 things every person should know how to do

This has the makings of a good week. I got a new cell phone. A Nokia phone that is AWESOME with internet access.  I am feeling slightly under the weather with a cold.  As I was looking online, I found this list at www.marcandangel.com about 50 things every person should know how to do and decided to see where I stand. Overall, I think I can hold my own pretty well. Let me know how things shape up for you.
1.  Build a Fire – I can't do this. 
2.  Operate a Computer – Give me a few hours to explore and I will figure a computer out. 
3.  Use Google Effectively – I excel at this. If I have a question, I Google.
4.  Perform CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver – I learned CPR in college so if I need to help I think I could do it.
5.  Drive a Manual Transmission Vehicle – Driving should be effortless. There is too much involved with stick shifts. 
6.  Do Basic Cooking – Forget basic! I can cook and will never go hungry.
7.  Tell a Story that Captivates People’s Attention –  Hitting a kid with a can of peas was a captivating story.
8.  Win or Avoid a Fistfight – I try to stay out of those situation.
9.  Deliver Bad News – I have done this and it is not pleasant.
10.  Change a Tire – I have tried and failed.
11.  Handle a Job Interview – I have succeed on this one many times.
12.  Manage Time – I am the worst with time management.
13.  Speed Read – Not good at this!
14.  Remember Names – I suck at remembering names. My brain files people by how I met them.
15.  Relocate Living Spaces – Have done this several times. I need to get rid of some things.
16.  Travel Light – Bring only the necessities.  When I am going on a trip for three days, I pack for a week.
17.  Handle the Police – Apparently, I am good at it. I haven't been arrested or shot.
18.  Give Driving Directions – I give them using landmarks.
19.  Perform Basic First Aid – I have a 7-year-old. Enough said.
20.  Swim – I really need to learn so I can conquer my fear.
21.  Parallel Park – I did it adequately enough at age 22 to get my driver's  license.
22.  Recognize Personal Alcohol Limits – I am very careful about this.
23.  Select Good Produce – I just want to eat.
24.  Handle a Hammer, Axe or Handsaw – Learned how to do this one summer working in the mountains with a group of cute guys.
25.  Make a Simple Budget – Making the budget is easy but sticking to it is hard.
26.  Speak at Least Two Common Languages – I can only speak English.
27.  Do Push-Ups and Sit-Ups Properly – I actually do these right.
28.  Give a Compliment – It is so easy to do.
29.  Negotiate – I suck at negotiations.
30.  Listen Carefully to Others – As a reporter, this skill is vital.
31.  Recite Basic Geography – I am good with basic geography but learning more thanks to my son.
32.  Paint a Room – I can do this.
33.  Make a Short, Informative Public Speech – Public speaking is not my thing.
34.  Smile for the Camera – I take the photos not pose for them. There are very few photos of me out there.
35.  Flirt Without Looking Ridiculous – I am not very good at this.
36. Take Useful Notes – Another vital skill for a reporter.
37.  Be a Respectful House Guest – I try to be so I can be invited back.
38.  Make a Good First Impression – I try to do this everyday.
39.  Navigate with a Map and Compass – I am pretty handy with a map.
40.  Sew a Button onto Clothing – I can do this thanks to my grandmother!
41.  Hook Up a Basic Home Theater System – I can actually do this to. It took five hours but I am the MAN!
42.  Type – Thank you Mrs. West for teaching me how to type in the seventh grade!
43.  Protect Personal Identity Information – So far, I have done well in this.
44.  Implement Basic Computer Security Best Practices – This is something I am working on.
45.  Detect a Lie – I am okay with this but I am a little too trusting.
46.  End a Date Politely Without Making Promises –  Haven't been on a date in a long time.
47.  Remove a Stain – I have saved several shirts.
48.  Keep a Clean House – It is clean today. And that's only because I  haven't been home yet.
49.  Hold a Baby – Thanks to a brother and several cousins, I was prepared when JJ was born.
50.  Jump Start a Car – I can't!
1. With such high employment in my area, I am thankful to still have a job.
2. Doing well in my quest to drink more water!
3. Listening to my son talk about his day!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Reflections of myself

I have never liked to look in the mirror or to take photos. I guess at times I just don't like what I see looking back at me. This is something I have been working on for a few years now.

The photo above was taken Friday while I was working on a day trip story for the magazine my newspaper puts out. I went to an art center that was 45 minutes from RR. It was one of the best day trip I have taken since I took over doing the section three years ago. It was just wonderful. The owners and the artists at the center were wonderful people. It was a trip filled with good vibes and good energy.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like myself and I liked myself. When I took that photo, I didn't cringe or pick out my faults. Instead, I saw someone I very proud of and who is a fighter. I know everything isn't always sunshine and puppy dogs. But I am okay with this. I could see possibilities and feel hopeful about life. It is a wonderful feeling. And I came away from the trip with a possible freelance photography job.

Another I realized as I am writing this, I haven't been as sick as I was in the past. I know I am on the right path with my struggles with ED. So far, I have had a slight cold. During one bad year, I had six sinus infections. The more I chip away at the hold ED has on me, the more I am starting to enjoy life. Things are not exactly the way I want them but I am healthy, have a roof over my head and have a job. Plus, I have a beautiful, amazing son who inspires me to be a better person. I am so thankful for the blessing I have. I don't know what this year has in store for me but whatever it is, I will meet it head on.


1. Being able to see the possibilities in life.

2. Taking a photo of myself without cringing.

3. Downton Abbey Sunday!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Knowing Myself

I may not know much in life but I know myself pretty well. I am a creature of habit. I am not big on change. This habit of mine allows to see when things are out of whack.

For instance, I switched from remeron to prozac while I was on vacation. Anytime I changed meds or start meds, I like to do it while I am not working so I see if anything is different or if the meds make me tired. I started taking the prozac on Dec. 28 and by New Year’s Day I noticed my mouth was little swollen. By January 4, I could barely talk. 

During this time, I didn’t eat anything weird or do anything. I had to be the meds. I left a message with my doctor and made the decision to stop taking the prozac on Jan. 5. Since then, I am back to normal. The swelling has gone away.

When I got in touch with my doctor on Monday, it was the reaction of the nurse that shocked me.
Instead of giving me kudos for realizing something was wrong, she got upset because had started taking the new med a week after my doctor appointment. I have an appointment with the doctor next week to address the allergy issue and the way the nurse spoke to me.

Here’s the thing, I think the prozac was working with the seroquel I was taking. I actually started to feel like myself. I didn’t feel all doom and gloom sprinkled with death and despair. I felt hopeful.
I am still taking the seroquel and am waiting to start something new. I am so glad that I know my body well because I saved myself.

Daily Dose
1. Knowing myself!
2. Having a beautiful warm day among the cold nasty stuff.
3. Orange soda!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Welcome 2013!!!!

I am so glad it is a new year because honestly 2012 was a bitch. Please excuse my language but it was a rough year for me.

But I see hope on the horizon for this year. It helps that I had most of the first week of the new year off from work. I had a chance to rest, regroup and plan. Also I was put on some new meds. At for the first time in weeks, I feel like myself again.

Tomorrow,  I return to work. I will miss being a lady of leisure. I continue this lifestyle if I win the lottery,  divorce and marry a rich guy or write an awesome best selling novel. Well, I don't see those things happening. So I return to the world of work, a little more energized.

I looked at my 12 things I wanted to accomplish in 2012 to see how I did.

  • 1. More visits from JJ in RR.
  • There were no visits from JJ in 2012 but I did visit him a lot in 2012.
  • 2. Continue with my recovery from ED.
  • It continues to be a daily struggle. But I will continue to fight the fight against ED.
  • 3. Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity.
  • I didn't have time to volunteer but I have started delivering magazines to nursing homes, senior seniors and other nonprofits.
  • 4. Make learning how to swim a priority.
  • It came down to not having time.
  • 5. Be more positive.
  • This is a daily thing I work on. For every bad thought, there must be a positive thought.
  • 6. Work on keeping clutter to a minimum.
  • I can't say this is a work in progress. I have a second bedroom full of boxes.
  • 7. Attend church on a regular basis.
  • I am sorry to say I haven't did this but I am reading  daily devotional and praying more.
  • 8. Be a better friend.
  • To some I was a good friend but to others, I have been reclusive.
  • 9. Try to eat breakfast every day.
  • Three out of five days a week I do.
  • 10. Enter the NC Press Association News, Editorial and Photojournalism contest.
  • The newspaper entered some stuff of mine. Hopefully, I will know soon.
  • 11. Stop procrastinating so much.

Is there hope for a serial procrastinator.

12. To live in the joy of the present moment.
This always happens when I am with JJ.

After  looking at my list, I decided on what I want to accomplish in 2013. I present my 13 in 13.

  • 1. I will spend more time with my son at his home and at my home.
  • 2. I will not let ED win. I will continue the fight.
  • 3. Focus more on my love of photography.
  • 4. Learn how to swim and buy a cute bathing suit.
  • 5. Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity.
  • 6. Clear out the clutter in the back bedroom.
  • 7. Attend church on a regular basis.
  • 8. Be a better person. Instead of complaining find a solution.
  • 9. Don't be so reclusive. Reach out to others more.
  • 10. Improve my writing skills.
  • 11. Start the process of fixing my smile.

12. Cook more instead of frozen dinners.

13. Become a kick ass newspaper designer.

It is going to be a pretty decent year. I can just feel it in my bones.

1. Downton Abbey returns tonight. YAY!!!
2. Got a subscription to Rolling Stone and Cosmopolitan for Christmas.
3. Happy I am healthy enough to enjoy another year!

Happy New Year!!!!

Happy New Year! I will admit that 2017 wasn't the worst year of my life but it wasn't the best. I feel like I spent the entire time ...