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Showing posts from September, 2011

Angry shouldn't be a state of mind

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I should change my name from Silly Girl to Angry Girl. I am tired of being angry. I wake up this way and go to bed this way. Yesterday, I was so mad that I almost kicked a dog and tripped a co-worker. I didn't do it but I thought about it. This is not healthy.  I am frustrated by how things are going in my life (mainly work). I don't like being so negative and bitter at the world. I mean I am not a happy go lucky person but I do try to have a balance. Balance is good. It keeps the karma good. So I am taking matters in my own hand to find a balance. I felt better after going to church Sunday and I am going home to visit JJ this weekend. He always makes me feel better about life.  To keep things in perspective I am working on a list of things I am grateful. My list keeps me in a a happy place. I am grateful for : 1. My son JJ, who is my heart and soul. 2. My favorite aunt Em, who reminds me of my mother. 3. My shoe collection that represents my many moods. 4. My purs

I am the little girl from "Signs"

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Sweater--$2 Leggings--$5 Boots--$1.50 Feeling like a million bucks--priceless One of my favorite movies is the "Signs" with Mel Gibson, Joquain Phoenix and Abigail Breslin. During the movie, Breslin's character has several glasses of water sitting around. She says the water taste funny. I bring all this up because I have somehow become that girl. As I was cleaning up today, I noticed there various water bottles and glasses with liquid in them throughout the apartment. The same can be said about my car and my desk at work. It doesn't taste funny but somehow I have managed to accumulate all this liquid. The temperature has dropped here. I have been unpacking sweaters and cool boots. For instance, today I looked quite the fashionista in my green and black sweater with leggings and boots. For the first day this week, I didn't feel exhausted. I felt pretty good. I had a dream in which my family had a reunion. My aunt Em tells us that a special guest arrived.

A tired creature of habit

In the county I live in, I think the unemployment rate is more than 10 percent. I am grateful to have a job and a roof over my head. But last night I almost gave it all up. It was a hellish unending day with one co-worker out sick while the other was there but really didn't do anything. I reached my almost breaking point when I let loose with so many expletives that a sailor would have blushed. Writing two stories while exhausted is bad but it gets worst when you throw in writing a radio script and then recording it. I had to muster everything I had so I wouldn't seem like I was dog tired on the radio. I think it is time to start looking for another job. I love routines. Every  morning, I get dress to the local NBC news affiliate and the Today Show. No Today Show and I am a cranky person. At night, it has to be NBC nightly news. They are the book ends to my day. Most days, it is just the Today Show. This morning as I was curling my hear, I watched a preview of tomorrow's

Sadness and the anniversary of my mom's death

Today is the anniversary of my mom's death. I should have taken the day off from work like I had original planned. I thought I was handling things well. And for the most part, I am. But today, it is a bad day and any problems I am having are magnified 1,000 percent. I miss her so much that it literally hurts. It is everything I can do to keep from leaving work, going home and going back to bed. I can only imagine how my brother is feeling today. My son thinks I am the most awesome mommy ever. I would disagree because Josephine Lowery was the most awesome mommy. Most of my life's lessons came from either her or my grandmother. She always told me to never let the fact that I was female or a minority from reaching my goals in life. She was my hero. She dropped out of school in the 11th grade to have me. She didn't let this stop her. She read the newspaper every day and was very smart. When I was in high school, she worked two jobs while going to community college i

Happy for the return of my routine

After being without power for 74 hours last week, I got it back.  I actually did a happy dance of joy in the living room. If I could have hugged the lineman who made it happen, I would have. Last week was a rough one full of lots of hurricane coverage and my weekend to work. By the time, I got home Saturday night, I was beyond exhausted.  So Sunday, D and I did something good. We went to see "Cowboys and Aliens". It was AWESOME! After a  hard week, it was nice to escape to the 1800s with Daniel "You have the most beautiful eyes" Craig and Harrison Ford. For almost two hours, I escaped into the world of the cinema. It was the reason I showered, got dress and left the house. Afterwards, we went for blizzards at Dairy Queen. It was  nice because I didn't think about the number of calories My son and I have become pen pals. He  needs to practice writing his letters and reading. I figured a weekly letter from Mommy and then him writing me one will be good for h