Friday, October 29, 2010

Beach bound!!!!!

In about 45 minutes, I will be headed to Myrtle Beach to meet up with my son to spend the weekend. I am looking forward to being with him and having fun. It's always good time with my JJ. No work. Just fun in the sand and possibly the pool. I'll take plenty of pictures to share later.

Have a good weekend!


Daily Dose

1. Chocolate cupcakes with a gooey center

2. Today is a good day with a cute outfit, hat and attitude.

3. I get to hang at the beach with my son :)!!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Horror movies rock!!!!

This is the season for horror movies and I am loving it. I have been watching them like crazy and going to work tired. But it is so worth it. This week has been Halloween week on AMC. My favorites are Halloween I and II. They are old school horror at its finest.

On Sunday, I watched Jeepers Creepers I and II along with Final Destination I, II, and III. And I stayed up late on Sunday night to watch Ghost Ship. This movie has one of the best opening scenes ever. But I do have one major horror movie rule. I don't like to see anything where there is a chance it could happen in real life. I will never see Paranormal Activity I or II. Things that go bump in the night means I would never sleep.

Next door to the motel is a house with a dog who sleeps under the air/heat unit. This dog is always bumping it. If I see those movies, I would never sleep again. I am not a big fan of gory horror like Saw or Hostel.

Overall, things are going pretty decent. I am starting to sleep better. I am waiting for the patient navigator at Rural Health to call me about my appointments for my physical, dental and mental needs. I am doing okay but the sooner I get help, the better I will feel. Right now, I am simplifying my life. The bigger room is cool but I have too much stuff so I am going through my clothes and shoes to donate things. I have given away some shoes.

I upgraded from my four year-old Nokia phone with no camera to a Samsung Comeback in white and plum. It is a sweet phone. I feel all sophisticated and grown up when I use it. I will start taking more pictures to post. It is good to be back.

Daily Dose

1. Horror movies.

2. I brought a toaster oven that can cooked lots of things.  I had my fave of fish sticks and macaroni and cheese last night to break it in. Also got a new George Foreman grill and a toaster.

3. I am taking it day by day and meal by meal. No pressure.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

How Silly Girl got her groove back

I am taking each day by day. I am slowly making the new space livable. The standards of the new boss are demanding but I am keeping my head above water. I am turning out some top notch stories. I stay busy and go home tired each night. We have told to keep our hours at 40 a week. If it was just two stories a day for each issue, I get it. It is two fairly in-depth stories along with special section work, impact stories and stories for that damn magazine. In my beat, there are four school districts with 29 schools, a community college, four private schools, a charter school and nine small towns.

At the same time, I am trying to have a social life. I have appointments for the next two weeks for therapy, getting a physical and having my dental needs addressed. Next weekend, I am going home for the first since the funeral to see my little guy and family.

For my birthday, I spend a day in Burlington, NC. It was nice and for the first time in weeks, I felt normal.  I had an iced coffee while reading books in Barnes and Noble and had lunch at Chili's. Then I went to Target and tried on some skinny jeans which scared me. Mirrors + tight pants=super anxiety. Instead I brought an orange sweater.  Then on the way home, I visited some awesome Goodwill stores and racked up on the clothing. All in all, it was an awesome day. A good way to spend my birthday. My mom would be proud. I brought two dresses.  So I am hanging in there.

Daily Dose

1. Mandarin chicken has become my favorite food.
2. There is no shame in seeking help.
3. Criminal Minds is scary good.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Bittersweet Birthday

Today, I turned the big 37. It was weird not getting an early morning birthday call from my mom. My friends and co-workers worked hard to make sure today was a great day for me. I was a princess at the newspaper. Complete with a tiara and several magic wands. I truly felt loved.

I am sorry I have written as much. My new responsibilities at work have kept me crazy busy. Along with moving. I looked for an apartment and ended up moving five doors down to a bigger room at the motel. I love the motel life. It suits me. I am buying a toaster oven and crock pot so I have more cooking options.

Overall, I am doing so-so. Over the weekend, I attended a festival with D and got my blood pressure checked and my weight. BP is fine but since June, I have lost 13 pounds. I haven't started my meds because I thought maybe I don't need them. But between the weight loss, lack of sleep at night and wanting to sleep too much during the day, I think meds are in order. I can honestly say it is ED that is keeping me from eating. I am just depressed because I miss my mommy.

Daily Dose
1. D baked me a cake for my birthday and decorated my desk with tons of princess stuff.
2. My new room is a mess but large and awesome. I have two windows and tons of lights.
3. I see my favorite little guy this weekend. We have a movie date.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Today was a good day

For the first time in a long time, I had a good day. It started out rough. It was rainy and I just didn't want to get out of bed. But thoughts of being fired and having no money are good motivators. Eventually, the sun came out and it was a beautiful day. And I enjoyed it. We have to keep our overtime down so I got to leave work at noon. I stuck around for an hour and had lunch with D and everyone else.

As I write this, I am listening to different songs on iTunes radio. It feels good to start to feel again. I have decided to give it a year at the work. And to make sure I will follow through, I am going apartment hunting next week with D and others. They know the area here so we are going apartment hunting. I miss having a closet, a stove and being able to open a window. I love being here at the motel but it's time to move on.

Asking for help has always been hard for me. Everyone is worried about me because of my past history. Honestly, I can't guaranteed that I will be okay. I am taking it day by day. Everyday, I get up and I go to work. I try not to make mistakes and do the best job I can. Yesterday, I admitted to D that I do eat one good meal each day--lunch. I am surrounded by people who are eating and who know my history. But once I head home, I usually go to bed. If food isn't within arms reach, I don't eat. So last night, D and her teenage daughters invited me to dinner at Pizza Hut. I had a great time even though the food and service sucked. They made me laugh.

I called the employee assistance number on the wall in our breakroom today. The therapist I was seeing is moving two hours away. So I have to start my search again. But it is worth it because if I continue on my current path, I will end up in the hospital. I do not want that. I am in the big leagues. I have friends and am finally starting to have a life. So I will be proactive.

Daily Dose

1. Soon I will have a closet. A closet.

2. String cheese is great. Or as JJ would say best. food. ever!

3. Grey's Anatomy is back and so good.

Spending time with my son

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