Friday, July 31, 2009

Got my game face on!!!!

I have a job interview this afternoon with a newspaper that is 15 minutes from my house. I would love to get this job. But I know the competition is going to be fierce for the position. So I have got my game face on. I feel very confident and ready. If I get this job, I could continue to be with my son everyday and see my mother and others. There are so many reasons why I want this job so I am going to do my very best.

I finished my story on the nutrition center. I will hope it gets the word out about the center and services it provides for seniors. It is hard to write because I am so nervous about the interview. Think positive, think positive. I am writing in my favorite little nook in the library listening to the Kings of Leon. I saw them this morning on the Today Show concert series. I think I would pay money to see them in concert.

As I was getting ready this morning, I thought about how far I have come in a year. Last year at this time, I was barely hanging on. I was so frail and weak that I had no energy to read to my son, drive and even to watch tv. I am thankful that I have another chance at life. I know change is around the corner. I don't know what it will be but I know I am ready. I am physically and mentally ready to handle whatever life throws at me. I was looking through my many playlists on my computer and realized that between myself and my brother that we have great taste in music. I am working on a song track of me. This is the mix I will take on my next roadtrip interview.

Daily Dose

1. Listening to good music in your favorite spot

2. Soaking up the good vibes from everyone

3. Living in the moment

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Change is in the air


This morning, I met with the oral surgeon--Dr. K. He and his staff were very sweet to me. He will be removing most of my teeth. He has a grandfather like personality. Since I am having so many removed and some are broken off, I will be an outpatient at the hospital. So hopefully sometime in mid-August, I will have them removed and maybe by the mid-September, I will have some new teeth. I wish Dr. K could be my dentist because he was soooo nice and didn't make me feel bad for having Medicaid or an ED. He told me he didn't know much about me but could tell I was very motivated. While waiting for him, I was reading the latest Dean Koontz book, Relentless. And the book is excellent. I love Dean Koontz. He is my dream interview. I would love to find out how he comes up with his stories.

Yesterday was a loooong day involving a four and half hour drive to Cashiers, NC. I had a 45 minute drive up a mountain. Overall, I think the interview went well. I am one of 200 plus applicants. They are interviewing about 30 people. So I’m in the top 30. I should know if I have the job Friday at the earliest and next Wednesday at the latest. The interview was about two hours long. Cashiers is a second home type community made of wealthy retirees. The paper looks great. I think I would be up to the challenge working there. The mountain thing does have me a little freaked because when it snows, it usually happens in the mountains first.

For the ride, I listened to various mix cds that I had made and NPR. It was nice drive. I got lost twice. When I arrived in Cashiers, I went the wrong way and ended up at the library but soon found my way back. The town only has two traffic lights. On the way home, I took the wrong 485 and ended up in uptown Charlotte during rush hour. I kept my cool and managed to find my way home. I owe this to my hubby for always showing me different ways around Charlotte and taking my mom to chemo. I guess it all stuck with me.

Today, I will catch up on housework and do some follow-ups on jobs. I am a little stressed about my unemployment running out but I am taking proactive and hopefully. Something good will happen soon. I just need to keep the faith. So I am doing the two things that calm me--visiting the library and drinking orange soda.

Daily Dose

1. Dr. K rocks as a medical professional.

2. Making your own mix cds for a long road trip

2. Eating skittles makes the time go sweeter.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Mommy's morning out


I have the morning to myself. I am doing a feature on the nutrition center for senior citizens so I needed a hour or so to interview folks. My hubby and son are either asleep or watching something. Tomorrow I head to Cashiers so I am trying to get ready for that.

Interviewing the senior citizens made me realize how much I love journalism. I like being able to tell someone's story. I truly believe everyone has a story. It is amazing what you learn about someone if you just talk to them. The seniors at the nutrition are having Chicken Parmesan, some veggies, dessert and tea for a $1. There should be more people there to take advantage of that. Anyway, I am headed home to continue to go through my stuff. If I get a job that requires me to move, I need to be ready to go. So, with the help of JJ, I am starting to go through my things. I started this on Saturday and have found that I have a lot of stuff. I am donating, giving away and repacking. It is a nice trip down memory lane. My son took this picture of me and his bumblebee. He is become quite good with the camera.

Daily Dose

1. I feel pretty decent about my life.

2. Spending time with family and friends.

3. Realizing how writing has helped me to save me from myself.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Patience is a virtue

I have always thought that my grandmother was the epitome of patience. I mean she had 13 children, a ton of grandkids that she helped to raise and some great grands. She lived and breathed it. I am trying to be patient. I feel and taste a job just around the corner. But sometimes we need a distraction to keep us from going crazy. My distraction is a yellow car. It is a bumblebee Transformer. It goes from a car to a robot and back. It is not as easy as it sounds. My hubby and I didn’t read the box when JJ picked out the toy. These Transformer toys are ranked from one to five in difficulty of transforming. We picked either a three or four. I have gotten pretty good since yesterday in transforming it from robot to car. My hubby is a pro with transforming it from car to robot. These transformations take a lot of patience.

JJ wants to see the Transformers movie. I didn’t see the first one and probably will not see the second one. But based on what others have said about it, JJ will not be seeing it either. One of his older cousins told him that he needed to present his case to his parents about why he should see the movie. Here’s the conversation.
JJ—Mommy, I would like to see the Transformer movie.
Me—Why?
JJ—It has cars and sexy girls.
Me—It has a lot of scenes that are inappropriate for a boy your age.
JJ—How old do I need to be?
Me—Maybe nine or 10.
JJ—I’ll be to old to see it. I can cover my eyes and ears during the bad parts.
Me—I’ll compromise with you and allow you to see the old Transformer cartoons if I can find them. The movie is not for you.
JJ—Okay (he says with sad puppy dog eyes)

My son and I love the Black Eyed Peas. He loves the radio version of Boom Boom Pow. We liked it so much that we made a dvd movie of pictures for my hubby's birthday. We haven't decided what our next movie will be about.

This is going to be a busy week. Tomorrow, I will be doing some writing assignments. Wednesday is the interview in Cashiers. On Thursday, I will meet the oral surgeon about my teeth. And Friday, there might be another job interview. I am trying to be patient and calm.

Daily Dose

1. Air conditioning glorious air conditioning
2.Having lots of patience

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Hard decision to make

A lot of newspapers are interested in me. So right now, I am going to the interviews with a open mind. This is all so new to me. I didn't think I would ever find a job. My hubby is being very supportive. He told me to go with the newspaper that best suits me. For months, he and my other friends have been telling me that when the time comes, the job will come. Boy were they right. I am starting the process of going to my things and packing.

My mother is happy for me but she doesn't want me to leave. So it is going to be hard to make a decision.

My son, the flirt, had the ladies at his eye doctor's office wrapped around his fingers. He received dinosaur stickers, Spiderman stickers and a lollipop. His eyes are fine. And we celebrated by going to a cool library with a castle inside. To quote JJ--it was a good day, mommy. I will miss the day to day with my son. But I need a job to help provide for him. So we'll see how things go.

Next week, I will have a job interview in Cashiers, NC and a phone interview with a newspaper in Hickory, NC. And on August 6 an interview in Reidsville. I'll take a deep breath and jump in.

Daily Dose

1. Thankful for all the job opportunities coming my way.

2. Supportive friends and family

3. Peanut butter panic ice cream--it calms the soul

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Change is in the air!!!!!

My new theme song is the Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling." It is theme of my life. I am still amazed that I may have a job after applying for 264 jobs. I guess patience is a key. I just got an email from the local paper in my area. The editor said I had a killer cover letter and she loved my clips. She was upfront about the pay. While it is low, it is much better than being unemployed and broke. There is so much going on that I am just tongue tied.

Yesterday, I had an interesting day. I had my first eye appointment ever. I hate having anything put in my eyes. Drops were put in my eyes which made yesterday a blurry day. I could see to drive but couldn't see signs or the odometer. Thank goodness, my follow-up appointment with my doctor was in the same complex. All I had to do was walk. And thank goodness, all these doctors' offices were only 10 minutes from my house. One of my eyes is a little nearsighted and the other is a little farsighted. The result is that I need a weak prescription for glasses. I need glasses. As a child, I always wanted glasses. Well, 30 something years later, I got my wish.

Yesterday was my hubby's birthday. I made him a movie of pictures set to music. It took me about a month to get it right. I think he really enjoyed. He liked the pictures I chose.

If this job opportunity comes to fruition, I will have to move four hours a way from my son and hubby. I figured I would have to move to find a job. So we'll see. I toured the town and I like it. I think there is a lot of potential for the town and newspaper. I am looking for a challenge and maybe soon I will have a insurance and 401K.

Daily Dose

1. I love it when a plan comes together.

2. Supportive friends and family

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Things are looking good

The last two days have been crazy. Let's see I finally put myself on Facebook. A filmmaker wants to turn my essay into a short. And I think I have a job. It will involved moving about 4 1/2 hours away but it will be a daily newspaper with benefits and 401 K. And I found out about the job yesterday. A consulation date has been set for my mouth. When goodness rains down on you, it pours. I just wanted to share the good news before I head back out to cover an economic development board meeting. I am so happy I could scream. I won't because there is a library full up people and I have a reputation to uphold.

Daily Dose

1. Hopefully getting a job!

2. This close to having a smile again.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Running away



When I was little girl, about nine, I got mad about something and decided to run away from home. I told my grandmother of my intentions. She got out a small bag and advised me on what to pack and even packed a paper bag lunch with can of soda. She gave me a big hug and wished me well in the world. She told me would miss me and lovely ways. I started walking and then I reached the mailbox. One step and I would be on the road to a new life. The problem—I wasn’t allowed to go beyond the mailbox. A true runaway would have overlooked that problem. But not me, I was a good kid and knew that was one of my grandma’s biggies when it came to rules. You cannot leave the yard. So I camped out under the oak tree near the mailbox. I read my book and ate my lunch. And I thought about my life on the road. My grandmother brought a glass of lemonade and a piece of pound cake. Eventually, the sun went down and I went in the house. My grandmother simply said, “I’m glad you came back. Now wash up for supper.”

Sometimes, I feel so lost and not sure what to do with my life. Those are the days I miss her the most. I could go to her and talk about it. She would listen and tell me a story. She died in mid-July 11 years ago.

Yesterday, JJ and I visited my family. There was an impromptu cookout with burgers and hotdogs. I ate some but everyone seemed to be watching me which made me a little nervous. We had a nice time. We got home at dark. I snapped a picture of my parents helping JJ put on his pads and helmet to go for a bike ride.

Here’s something that bugs me. If my husband goes somewhere with JJ and comes home, he will call me to come and help with JJ and stuff he has in the truck. If I go somewhere with JJ, nine times out of ten, there is no one home to help me with JJ and stuff. Last night, he was home, he opened the door. No offers to help with stuff and JJ’s bike that I took with us so JJ could ride with his cousins. I decided as I lugged the bike up the steps that I was officially off duty. The boys were on their own. For the rest of the evening, I declared it Crime TV. I watched Numbers, some crime show, Without a Trace and Cold Case. I also started re-reading My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult. I had read it a longtime ago but wanted to read it again before I see the movie. It still is just as good as I remember it. However, the first time I read it, I wasn’t a mother so now reading makes me think more. I know what it feels like when a child is sick and you are terrified out of your mind about it. I am so glad that JJ has been given a clean bill of health.

I woke up this morning feeling more hopeful that I have felt in a longtime. I guess because there are so many prospects for jobs. I genuinely feel like something is just around the corner. Maybe, this week I will hear something from the Center about starting treatment.

Daily Dose

1. I feel hopeful about life.
2. Remembering my grandmother and all the lessons she taught me.
3. Rereading a good book.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Good interview

This morning, I had a phone interview with the church administrator for a pt receptionist position. I think it went very well considering 475 people have applied for that position. I made it to the second round for a phone interview. I think I am one of about 50 people. This is pretty good.

Yesterday, the Emmy nominations were announced. One of my favorite actresses, Chandra Wilson received an Emmy nomination for Grey’s Anatomy. I love this show and don’t like to miss it on Thursday nights. Katherine Hegl was snubbed even though she did some good work this past season. And Neil Patrick Harris is going to host. He did a great job with the Tony Awards. I love the Emmys. Hell, I love most award shows. The dresses are always so beautiful. I love reading fashion mags and putting together my own outfits for less. I have my dream items that I would love to own—a Prada bag and a Vera Wang gown. When I was planning my wedding, I actually touched an $8,000 wedding dress. Then I came to my senses and went to E-bay. Kohl’s has some nice Vera Wang pieces to dream about. My love of fashion is coming to surface as I become more and more comfortable with my body. I am more willing to wear dresses, skirts and form-fitting things.

I am still waiting to hear if I have gotten approval to see the therapist from the Center. I have been patient so I plan to call today and see how much progress has been made.

I got a major scoop for my SC newspaper job. A new McDonald's is being built and got the owner to talk about it on record. They are also accepting applications. I'm thinking about applying. At this point, what do I have to lose plus I love their shakes.

I think my week is finally slowing down.

Daily Dose

1. Making it in the top 50.

2. Having a very productive week.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

An interesting day

I have been busy from the moment I opened my eyes this morning. The editor of NC paper emailed me early this morning that a story I had turned in more than a week ago was running in tomorrow's paper. She had some questions. The only problem is the person who could answer the questions is on her way to Germany as I write. Doing some digging, I found someone to answer my questions.

In midst of all this, I had my dentist appointment. It's not everyday you have a dentist say "wow" when looking at your teeth. The verdict--he wants me to have several removed and he will make me some dentures. Getting dentures at 35 is not an easy thing to hear. So I will make the appointment and prepare for all of the removals. Medicaid does not pay for implants but will pay for dentures. Hey, I'm not complaining. My teeth suffered greatly from my ED.

Yesterday, the physical went pretty good. I'm 111 lbs with decent cholestrol and my heart is working just fine. They ran some blood and other tests. I will get the results next week. Overall, physical I seem to be doing fine except for my teeth and mental stuff.

A possible job prospect has come. A church needs a PT administrative assistant. They seem to be very interested in me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Daily Dose

1. Receiving Medicaid

2. Realizing freelancing is not easy but it is worth it.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Productive Day

I got a late start today but it has been most productive. First, I had a great time in group therapy. My group is a depression group made up of folks who are depressed, have substance abuse problems and me with the ED. Today, we talked about hope and was asked to use an example of when we were at our lowest and how hope kept us going. No one said anything so I spoke up. I talked about at this time last summer, I was 80 pounds, tired and depressed. I told them that at my lowest weight that I knew I needed to do something to survive. My hope was my son. He is what kept me going. Therapist was very impressed because usually I don't have much to say. I am finding myself opening up more about my ED and what I need to be healthy. In about 15minutes, I am having a full physical done. My hubby made a crack over the weekend that my cholestrol is probably through the roof because of my love of butter in my creamy chicken rice and other dishes. I made the appointment to prove him wrong and to see how well I am doing.

Tomorrow is the dentist appointment. This is the one that I am worried about. The article for the NC paper is completed and should hit the stands on Friday. I plan to put this in my packet for the newspaper job. I hope all goes well but if it doesn't I have a plan B, a plan C and a plan D waiting in the wings. And I don't have to cover the Watermelon Festival. My hubby thought I was nuts for turning it down. The thought of the festival made me anxious and no amount of money is worth that feeling.

Daily Dose

1. Group therapy--It is helping me with my problems.

2. Finding more new magazines for $.25.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Crunch time

In about three weeks, my unemployment runs out. I am a little worried but I’m not stressing it. Right now, I am working on a four page application for a part-time job as a residential assistant at an Adult Living Home. I found out yesterday that a paper in the county that I live in has an opening for a reporter. I am putting together a package—resume, cover letter and writing samples.

I am trying to be positive but I know I will be going up against hundreds of out of work Charlotte Observer reporters. I am being realistic about my odds of getting this job. So I am going to start applying this week for part-time positions at fast food restaurants. I figure part-time is better than nothing. I’ll keep applying for other jobs. A girl has gotten do what she can to survive in this economy.

The Center is still working on getting approval for me to see a therapist there. The meds are helping me with my appetite and my anxiety. But I would like to see a therapist. It is hard to chop through the red tape and government sometimes.

I finished my article for the NC paper and it is suppose to be the cover story for Friday’s paper. Hopefully, this will lead to more assignments and maybe a future job.

Daily Dose

1. I am becoming quite the homemaker.
2. Sharing the joys of libraries with my son.

Monday, July 13, 2009

A peaceful morning





It is another Monday. It is another week full of promise and other stuff. My son is sleeping as I do some phone interviews, plan my week and eat. After my usual bowl of Rice Krispies, I decided to make myself some creamy chicken rice. It hits the spot on a rainy day. The air conditioning ran all night so the house has a little chill to it.

I took a look around my room, which is a combination of me and JJ. Here a picture of his favorite comic book heroes that hangs on my closet door. Every time I look at this poster, I think of my son and his very active imagination. He reminds me of a younger me who loved to make up stories and friends. I am glad he got this from me. The other picture is JJ helping me with the housework. He loves to vacuum.

A new week means a new list of job prospects. I saw an ad needing a residential assistant for an adult group home. I am going to apply. My Uncle Junior was developmentally delayed. He couldn’t talk or read but we managed to communicate well. I never saw him as an embarrassment like some members of my family did. I knew it was hard for my grandmother to instutionalized him when he was 17. She said she always felt like she failed him. There was nothing she could have done. She had 12 other children and at 17, he was too much for her to handle. Growing up, we visited him several times a year and he would come for home visits two weeks out of the year. He could dress himself and feed himself but he couldn’t talk. I always saved magazines for him. And would try to read stories to him. Both Uncle Junior and my grandmother talked me an early lesson in compassion and love for others. In his later years, after my grandmother’s death, he was moved to a group home. I didn’t get to see him as much as I should have. I think he was happy there with his magazines.

This week, I am having a physical done and seeing a dentist for the first time in a looooong time. It is going to be a very interesting week. Plus, this weekend is the Watermelon Festival. For years, I have avoided this festival and now I might be covering it. I could probably get two stories out of it. This means money but I don’t want to cover the event because there are so many people I will come in contact with that know my hubby or his family. There will be questions and I don’t know if I am up for the nosy people. My hubby and my in-laws (not my mother-in-law) are talkers. Talkers who have told most of the county about my ED. People don’t mention it when they talk to me but I can tell who knows and who doesn’t. Especially when I am in the grocery store and the way some people look at my cart. To say it pisses me off has done no good. But when my mother-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer and my father-in-law blabbed to everyone, it help to illustrate the point of my issues are my issues. My hubby was upset with his dad for doing that to his mom. My comment was I know how she feels about her private issues being public talk. My hubby realized at that point how I felt. His excuse was that he needed to others about my ED. I told him I understood if it was one or two close friends or family. But you tell just about everyone that you come in contact with. I think now he will think before he speaks.

Yesterday, I covered a meeting of the Genealogical Society. The meeting spot was at one of the libraries in CCounty. A relative of my hubby’s saw me walking down the street to the building. She promptly called my hubby to tell him that she saw me. It is sad that I can’t even walk down the street without someone saying something. This is why I don’t want to do the festival.


Daily Dose

1. Creamy chicken rice
2. Introducing my son to the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
3. My husband buying me a James Dean movie—Rebel Without A Cause. All I need is the movie, Giant, and my collection will be complete.

Friday, July 10, 2009

I wish I had a me

There are days that I wish I had a me. I keep track of all things that are JJ from doctor's apppointments to playdates. At times, I don't think my husband appreciates all of this. He does a lot of running for his parents and disabled sister, which is a lot of hard work. So I try to keep things running smoothly at home. I guess if things are going smoothly there is no need to say anything. I say all of this because my son and I are both allergic to bananas. It will not kill us but it makes us uncomfortable. Anyway, last night my husband comes home with some yogurt for JJ. JJ has eaten half of the container when my husband realizes that it has bananas in it. JJ is fine--no discomfort or anything. If I had made a mistake like this, I would hear about it for the rest of my life. His excuse--I have been tired. The only thing I said was you need to be more careful. Then I went back to eating my cereal and reading my magazine. There was no need for dramatics or yelling. You made a mistake. You realize it and will make an effort to be more careful. I guess he expected me to make a big deal about it like he would. This is not my style. But I am filing this in my head under "You are not the perfect parent you think that you are."

I am not perfect when it comes to being a mother. I have things to work on and having an ED does not help. But ever since JJ has been born, my husband thinks he knows everything about parenting. Last night's incident just proves that nobody is perfect. I just wish I could get through his head.

I am very close to getting a wavier to attend the Center. This has been a very busy week. I just emailed my second article to the NC paper. I hope they like it. I believe with every fiber of my being that the NC paper could lead to a full-time job. I still have about five stories to complete for the SC paper. So there is no rest for the weary.

Daily Dose

1. String cheese--a delicious and nutritious snack
2. A day without humidity

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Progress

I have made some progress in getting PBH in giving me a wavier to a place that I will the Center. After having the runaround in PBH phone system, I found someone who knew what I was talking about and didn't leave me hanging. Basically, both PBH and the Center are working together so I can get help.

Things have been going okay. I briefly entertained going into the partial hospitalization program at UNC-Chapel Hill. I think I am on pretty stable ground. But I do need to see a therapist soon. I emphasized this to PBH. So hopefully, in the next week or so, I'll have a therapist. The next few days, I will be finishing up my battered women's article for the NC paper and four articles for the SC paper. So I am a very busy Silly Girl. I am thankfully for the opportunities to write because it gets me out of the house. And honestly, some days I am content to stay home, watch General Hospital and cartoons with JJ. I am now focusing on finding a part-time job so I can continue to write. I think this is for the best so I have my husband asking around to his friends and acquaintances if they know anyone with a part-time job.

Daily Dose

1. Peanut Butter Panic ice cream--DELICIOUS
2. Watching my kitten play with a grasshopper. It was quite funny.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Tired but happy

I have never been so tired. But I'm happy. Yesterday was a busy day with me covering two different assignments for two different newspapers in two different states. I found out the center I want to go to no longer has the intensive out patient program but has other things. The most important thing is that I have started the process of trying to get a wavier so I can receive treatment from the center. Today is group therapy day.

Two weeks ago, I applied for a housekeeping job at a local hotel. I didn't get it. I didn't have the qualifications to be a housekeeper. This bothers me. I thought I met the basic qualifications but the hotel didn't. This really pisses me off. I know it shouldn't but it does. I have applied for more than 250 jobs. To say I am frustrated is the understatement of the year. I am trying to be positive but I am frustrated. I just needed to get this off of my chest. I look on the bright side--I have the freelancing gigs and Medicaid so there are some pluses.

Some days I feel like I have a I Pod in my head. Different songs to match my different moods. Every morning I wake up with a song in my head. This morning, it was the Black Eyed Peas--I Gotta a Feeling. A very upbeat song to have in your head.

Daily Dose

1. I am getting healthier.
2. Discovering new music and making mixed cds.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Snap, Crackle, Pop

My baby has discovered Rice Krispies and can’t get enough of them. I am trying to be more healthy and eat breakfast. I decided to start with Rice Krispies. JJ loves them. It’s relaxing to have a bowl with him while figuring out our day. Rice Krispies and watching Curious George. This is a combination that can’t be beat. This is going to be a busy week full of writing assignments—government meets, a special needs camp and a man who wrote a book. I just love variety.

Finally got the Medicaid card in the mail yesterday. My goal is to get into this intensive outpatient eight week program for eating disorders. So keep your fingers and toes crossed.

We had a very relaxing Fourth of July. For the first time, I wasn’t going from family function to family function. JJ and I went to the park. We had it all to ourselves where we played in the sand and pretended to walk the plank on a pirate ship. It was the best day that I have had in a long time. Afterwards we went home for ice cream and played dinosaurs.

Each night, before bed, we would watch a movie. On Thursday, we watched Cars. It is JJ favorite movie. I love and can quote lines with him about it. Friday night was a Bob the Builder movie. It was nice to watch Bob and discuss the movie afterwards. Saturday night was a treat. For the first time in my life, I watched Bambi. It was interesting to see how much animation has evolved. I think Disney did a tasteful handling of Bambi’s mom death. I think it affected me more than JJ. After the movie, I asked him if he was sad about Bambi’s mom. He said no. “It’s just a movie, Mommy. And my mommy isn’t dead so I’m okay.” I love the logic of a three-year-old. But later, he did say he was worries about me dying. I asked him why. He said it’s because I don’t eat like Daddy. I explained to him that I was seeing someone to help me. “That’s good, Mommy because I need my mommy princess.” Recovery isn’t easy and I have had some small slipups and panics. But I know I need to get better so I can be a good Mommy for him. I want him to enjoy kid stuff and not worry that his mommy might die.

Last night, we watched Enchanted. I had never seen it before but it was a good movie. JJ enjoyed the whole princess thing. He said her dress was pretty but mine (wedding dress) was much better. I’ll have to find the cd with my wedding pictures on it and post a picture of my dress. Until he pointed it out, I never realized that I do look like a princess in the dress. He thinks it is the coolest thing. “My mommy was a princess and she married my daddy the prince.”

Overall, it was a great weekend full of great movies, food and conversation. There is never a dull moment with JJ around.

Daily Dose

1. The musings of JJ—“My kitten acts like a doggy.” Or “Thanks for the M & M’s! Can George have his own pack? I’ll make sure he doesn’t eat all of them. He can share them with me.”
2. Sunny days with no humidity. Days like this make the park so much more fun.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Good news

I have some really good news. No, I haven't found a job yet. I can now receive medicaid for six months. Today is a happy day. And the first thing I did was make an appointment with a dentist. Maybe in the future, I can take a picture with a smile. I am so happy. And I am looking for a provider that accepts medicaid. After weeks of disappointment, I feel like things are making a turn for the better.

I did my first story interview for UCpaper. My story is about the battered women's shelter. The next six months are going to be hectic with story assignments, looking for a job and receiving long overdue medical treatment. Words can't describe how happy I am. I hope everyone has a Happy Fourth of July with plenty of goodies and fireworks.

Daily Dose

1. The state of NC for approving me for six months of medicaid.
2. Playtime with my son and nephew!!!!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Things are looking up

Today is the beginning of a new month. This morning, I covered a county council meeting. I love government meetings. But here, they do nothing and they only meet for less than a hour. Other reporters would be thrilled with a short meeting. I guess I got spoiled on the meeting in DCounty. They would easily be two to three hours. For the first time in a longtime, I went to sleep in the house by myself. Usually, there is JJ or my hubby. JJ is at my in-laws until Thursday afternoon and the fireworks will keep my hubby busy until Sunday.

I didn't sleep well. I guess it was too quiet without my hubby's snores and my son laughing in his sleep. I got up early and brought a newspaper. I live in NC but work in SC. The SC governor has lost his mind. He leaves the state unattended for a few days to go visit his mistress in Argentina on Father's Day weekend. This is one thing. But it's another to give an interview saying that his mistress is his soul mate but is trying to fall back in love with his wife. The man has lost his mind. I can't imagine what his wife must going through. My hubby and I have our issues but I would hope he would never do something like this.

Yesterday, I worked on another social eating milestone. It was a drop in retirement party. It is hard to socialize, eat and write. I managed to all quite well. There was fresh fruit, chicken salad, spinach dip, various wraps, a dessert with blueberries and strawberries and punch with fresh strawberries in it. I had chicken salad and fresh fruit. I was little anxious with all the food and people I didn't know but I took a deep breath and just did it. And thank God for the kind probate judge who took pity on me and introduced me to various people.

Daily Dose

1. When outgoing people help shy folks like me at a get together with lots of people.

2. County government meetings are becoming my latest addiction.

3. Fresh fruit is pretty good with a yogurt based dip.

Spending time with my son

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