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Showing posts from August, 2012

Recovery score--ME, 1 and ED, 0

"Look at you looking all sexy today!"

After a tiring day, those were the words said to me by my neighbor as I came home for a quick break.

All I was wearing was a simple black shirt dress with green pumps. Dressy enough for a college trustee  meeting but comfortable enough for the office. With a cute bob, I was looking decent. It is amazing how an outfit and nice words can perk a person up.

Today, I feel pretty. And my inner voice drowned out ED's voice. Most days, it has been a 50/50 split of the two voices. On bad days, it is 90 percent  ED and 10 percent me. 

But today, it was 100 percent me telling myself that I looked good and had done well for myself these last crazy few months. So yes, I strutted my stuff in my black dress and green pumps. And looked good doing it.

Today, August 28, 2012, was a good day. Me--1, ED--O. 


1. Having turkey lasgna and a salad for lunch.

2. Even better--cheesecake with strawberries on top for dessert. 

3. Being around positive people!

12 inches of rain in three hours and other adventures...

It has been quite a day in RR. We got 12 inches of rain in a few hours which resulted in massive flooding around the city. This was the perfect day to curl up with a good book. But not for me, it was my weekend to work.

My day at 8 a.m. started with several texts on the situation. As I started my 5 minute commute, I noticed several yards that looked like rivers.

 Let me preface what I am about to say with I am okay. Emergency management says never to cross standing water on a road. I did and as I was in the middle of doing it, I thought you are so stupid for doing this. I made it to the other side safely. And after thanking God, I vowed never to do this again.  My five minute commute took about 20 minutes because most of my normal route was under water.

Today, I have been from side of the city to another. RR is home to 15,000 people so you can imagine how big it is. I have been to places that I didn't even know existed in this city.

My home is okay with no flooding. I have talked …

Makes me feel old

Every year, there is a college in Beloit, Wis. that releases its Mindset List to give a snapshot of how the incoming freshmen class  views the world. It amazes me some of the things these kids may not know. They were born in 1994.

By this time, I was deep in college and my ED. In another year, I would have an suicide thoughts, be hospitalized for a week and then spent a year out of college working in the real world making car brakes.

According to this list:
--They have always lived in cyberspace, addicted to a new generation of “electronic narcotics.”
--They have never seen an airplane “ticket.” (They probably don’t know what it was like to get on airplane without being patted down.)
Having grown up with MP3s and iPods, they never listen to music on the car radio and really have no use for radio at all. (I have an MP3 but couldn’t imagine life without the car radio.)
Their folks have never gazed with pride on a new set of bound encyclopedias on the bookshelf. (My grandmother scrapped and…

Remembering my mother

Recently, my newspaper had a company picnic. It was nice but there was a moment there in which I had to pause. There was watermelon slices there. I haven’t touched watermelon since my mom died in 2010. She loved watermelons. She could eat them morning, noon and night. Whenever I visited her, I always brought her a watermelon. Each summer, it has been hard passing a produce stand and seeing watermelons. Usually I have the urge to stop and buy her one. I like watermelon but not enough to buy a whole one.

So on Sunday, I had a slice in her memory. I miss her. There are so many times I reached for the phone to talk to her about my day or to make a comment about a show or song she would like.
I have simple tribute to my mom that happens five days a week--my  newspaper byline. Professionally, I am known as Jacqueline Hough. Friends call me Jackie.

My mom loved the name Jacqueline. She admired Jacqueline Kennedy for her style and grace. She taught her daughter would have that. I did but long a…

Living in limbo

For two months, I figured this post would be about me leaving RR and how much I have learned in almost three years. It should have been  but it won't because I am not leaving yet.

After applying for several jobs and two interviews, I was offered a job that was 45 minutes from my son. It was what I have been dreaming about for months. But, I would have had to take a pay cut. In the end, I decided it was best to stay here. I don't regret but I have a lot of what ifs. 
For the next few months, I will be learning to design pages in InDesign to help develop another skill set. I am also looking for a part-time job to help in the mean time.  So I am updating my skills by learning layout and design in InDesign. Learning the new stuff will be in addition to my reporting duties. 
My editor sees something in me that is more than a reporter. He told me it bothered him to see me applying for jobs where I would be paid less than what I make here. One job offered me $9.50.  When I got that offe…
After a brief vacation, I am back to my life. 
It was fun while it lasted. I got to spend five uninterrupted days with JJ.  
There was an injury. In a freak accident, a one liter soda fell on JJ’s big toe in the grocery store and split it open. Long story short--tears, lots of blood and an er visit. After some pain meds and skin glue, JJ was good as new. I tore me up to see my baby in pain and bleeding because I wanted to get some orange soda.
Living apart from my son, I have missed a lot of the firsts but I got to be there for his first major er visit. He was very mature about.

Once the trauma past, we visited by brother and nephew, went to the library and watched tons of movies on dvd. There is nothing in the world like being cuddled up with your son watching the Green Lantern. I miss him so much.
In summary, it was the best vacation I  have had in a long time. I only thought about work a few times.
And now, I return to reality. A reality where ED is trying to rear her ugly head. I have s…