Living in limbo

For two months, I figured this post would be about me leaving RR and how much I have learned in almost three years. It should have been  but it won't because I am not leaving yet.

After applying for several jobs and two interviews, I was offered a job that was 45 minutes from my son. It was what I have been dreaming about for months. But, I would have had to take a pay cut. In the end, I decided it was best to stay here. I don't regret but I have a lot of what ifs. 

For the next few months, I will be learning to design pages in InDesign to help develop another skill set. I am also looking for a part-time job to help in the mean time.  So I am updating my skills by learning layout and design in InDesign. Learning the new stuff will be in addition to my reporting duties. 

My editor sees something in me that is more than a reporter. He told me it bothered him to see me applying for jobs where I would be paid less than what I make here. One job offered me $9.50.  When I got that offer, I wondered if I had wasted three years of my life here away from my son. So the last week, I have been in limbo. I come home, watch some Olympics and go to bed. I suspended packing and  cleaning. 

I took myself out of limbo status yesterday when I cleaned and mopped my bathroom and kitchen. There are tons of empty boxes in the living room. I guess I am disappointed about not being able to move in the motel. I found out my lease is until mid-December. My rent has become more than I can handle so I am either going to look for a roommate or move to a smaller place.  

The only place I am not in limbo is at work. I am back to covering four school districts. Soon one day, my time will come.

DAILY DOSE

1. Taking a good look at myself nude in the mirror. I didn't cry or break the mirror. Progress!

2. Seeing a difference in drinking more water!

3. Taking life one day at a time