Friday, July 10, 2009

I wish I had a me

There are days that I wish I had a me. I keep track of all things that are JJ from doctor's apppointments to playdates. At times, I don't think my husband appreciates all of this. He does a lot of running for his parents and disabled sister, which is a lot of hard work. So I try to keep things running smoothly at home. I guess if things are going smoothly there is no need to say anything. I say all of this because my son and I are both allergic to bananas. It will not kill us but it makes us uncomfortable. Anyway, last night my husband comes home with some yogurt for JJ. JJ has eaten half of the container when my husband realizes that it has bananas in it. JJ is fine--no discomfort or anything. If I had made a mistake like this, I would hear about it for the rest of my life. His excuse--I have been tired. The only thing I said was you need to be more careful. Then I went back to eating my cereal and reading my magazine. There was no need for dramatics or yelling. You made a mistake. You realize it and will make an effort to be more careful. I guess he expected me to make a big deal about it like he would. This is not my style. But I am filing this in my head under "You are not the perfect parent you think that you are."

I am not perfect when it comes to being a mother. I have things to work on and having an ED does not help. But ever since JJ has been born, my husband thinks he knows everything about parenting. Last night's incident just proves that nobody is perfect. I just wish I could get through his head.

I am very close to getting a wavier to attend the Center. This has been a very busy week. I just emailed my second article to the NC paper. I hope they like it. I believe with every fiber of my being that the NC paper could lead to a full-time job. I still have about five stories to complete for the SC paper. So there is no rest for the weary.

Daily Dose

1. String cheese--a delicious and nutritious snack
2. A day without humidity

2 comments:

  1. ah, if only everyone could handle things as you did.

    my boyfriend can be much more accusatory than i. i'm learning to tell him, nicely, and he's listening. by the way, we women seem to say things nicely and thoughtfully (just one woman's opinion), while men either say nothing or shoot straight from the hip.

    you sound like a great parent. you a have a lot on your plate (so to speak.)

    good luck on all fronts.

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  2. I can imagine it's tough being a parent, and having different styles of doing things than your husband. Ultimately, you both have JJ's best interests at heart...there are just so many forces in life. It's so hard to balance personal needs with family needs. Honestly, that's why I don't know if I'll have a family. I want to, but I feel very selfish. We'll see!

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