As I write this, I am listening to different songs on iTunes radio. It feels good to start to feel again. I have decided to give it a year at the work. And to make sure I will follow through, I am going apartment hunting next week with D and others. They know the area here so we are going apartment hunting. I miss having a closet, a stove and being able to open a window. I love being here at the motel but it's time to move on.
Asking for help has always been hard for me. Everyone is worried about me because of my past history. Honestly, I can't guaranteed that I will be okay. I am taking it day by day. Everyday, I get up and I go to work. I try not to make mistakes and do the best job I can. Yesterday, I admitted to D that I do eat one good meal each day--lunch. I am surrounded by people who are eating and who know my history. But once I head home, I usually go to bed. If food isn't within arms reach, I don't eat. So last night, D and her teenage daughters invited me to dinner at Pizza Hut. I had a great time even though the food and service sucked. They made me laugh.
I called the employee assistance number on the wall in our breakroom today. The therapist I was seeing is moving two hours away. So I have to start my search again. But it is worth it because if I continue on my current path, I will end up in the hospital. I do not want that. I am in the big leagues. I have friends and am finally starting to have a life. So I will be proactive.
1. Soon I will have a closet. A closet.