NotesFromtheVoices

I have a job interview this afternoon with a newspaper that is 15 minutes from my house. I would love to get this job. But I know the competition is going to be fierce for the position. So I have got my game face on. I feel very confident and ready. If I get this job, I could continue to be with my son everyday and see my mother and others. There are so many reasons why I want this job so I am going to do my very best. I finished my story on the nutrition center. I will hope it gets the word out about the center and services it provides for seniors. It is hard to write because I am so nervous about the interview. Think positive, think positive. I am writing in my favorite little nook in the library listening to the Kings of Leon. I saw them this morning on the Today Show concert series. I think I would pay money to see them in concert. As I was getting ready this morning, I thought about how far I have come in a year. Last year at this time, I was barely hanging on. I was so frail and...

This morning, I met with the oral surgeon--Dr. K. He and his staff were very sweet to me. He will be removing most of my teeth. He has a grandfather like personality. Since I am having so many removed and some are broken off, I will be an outpatient at the hospital. So hopefully sometime in mid-August, I will have them removed and maybe by the mid-September, I will have some new teeth. I wish Dr. K could be my dentist because he was soooo nice and didn't make me feel bad for having Medicaid or an ED. He told me he didn't know much about me but could tell I was very motivated. While waiting for him, I was reading the latest Dean Koontz book, Relentless. And the book is excellent. I love Dean Koontz. He is my dream interview. I would love to find out how he comes up with his stories. Yesterday was a loooong day involving a four and half hour drive to Cashiers, NC. I had a 45 minute drive up a mountain. Overall, I think the interview went well. I am one of 200 plus applicants. The...

I have the morning to myself. I am doing a feature on the nutrition center for senior citizens so I needed a hour or so to interview folks. My hubby and son are either asleep or watching something. Tomorrow I head to Cashiers so I am trying to get ready for that. Interviewing the senior citizens made me realize how much I love journalism. I like being able to tell someone's story. I truly believe everyone has a story. It is amazing what you learn about someone if you just talk to them. The seniors at the nutrition are having Chicken Parmesan, some veggies, dessert and tea for a $1. There should be more people there to take advantage of that. Anyway, I am headed home to continue to go through my stuff. If I get a job that requires me to move, I need to be ready to go. So, with the help of JJ, I am starting to go through my things. I started this on Saturday and have found that I have a lot of stuff. I am donating, giving away and repacking. It is a nice trip down memory lane. My son...

I have always thought that my grandmother was the epitome of patience. I mean she had 13 children, a ton of grandkids that she helped to raise and some great grands. She lived and breathed it. I am trying to be patient. I feel and taste a job just around the corner. But sometimes we need a distraction to keep us from going crazy. My distraction is a yellow car. It is a bumblebee Transformer. It goes from a car to a robot and back. It is not as easy as it sounds. My hubby and I didn’t read the box when JJ picked out the toy. These Transformer toys are ranked from one to five in difficulty of transforming. We picked either a three or four. I have gotten pretty good since yesterday in transforming it from robot to car. My hubby is a pro with transforming it from car to robot. These transformations take a lot of patience. JJ wants to see the Transformers movie. I didn’t see the first one and probably will not see the second one. But based on what others have said about it, JJ will not be...

A lot of newspapers are interested in me. So right now, I am going to the interviews with a open mind. This is all so new to me. I didn't think I would ever find a job. My hubby is being very supportive. He told me to go with the newspaper that best suits me. For months, he and my other friends have been telling me that when the time comes, the job will come. Boy were they right. I am starting the process of going to my things and packing. My mother is happy for me but she doesn't want me to leave. So it is going to be hard to make a decision. My son, the flirt, had the ladies at his eye doctor's office wrapped around his fingers. He received dinosaur stickers, Spiderman stickers and a lollipop. His eyes are fine. And we celebrated by going to a cool library with a castle inside. To quote JJ--it was a good day, mommy. I will miss the day to day with my son. But I need a job to help provide for him. So we'll see how things go. Next week, I will have a job interview in Ca...

My new theme song is the Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling." It is theme of my life. I am still amazed that I may have a job after applying for 264 jobs. I guess patience is a key. I just got an email from the local paper in my area. The editor said I had a killer cover letter and she loved my clips. She was upfront about the pay. While it is low, it is much better than being unemployed and broke. There is so much going on that I am just tongue tied. Yesterday, I had an interesting day. I had my first eye appointment ever. I hate having anything put in my eyes. Drops were put in my eyes which made yesterday a blurry day. I could see to drive but couldn't see signs or the odometer. Thank goodness, my follow-up appointment with my doctor was in the same complex. All I had to do was walk. And thank goodness, all these doctors' offices were only 10 minutes from my house. One of my eyes is a little nearsighted and the other is a little farsighted. The result is that I need ...

The last two days have been crazy. Let's see I finally put myself on Facebook. A filmmaker wants to turn my essay into a short. And I think I have a job. It will involved moving about 4 1/2 hours away but it will be a daily newspaper with benefits and 401 K. And I found out about the job yesterday. A consulation date has been set for my mouth. When goodness rains down on you, it pours. I just wanted to share the good news before I head back out to cover an economic development board meeting. I am so happy I could scream. I won't because there is a library full up people and I have a reputation to uphold. Daily Dose 1. Hopefully getting a job! 2. This close to having a smile again.

When I was little girl, about nine, I got mad about something and decided to run away from home. I told my grandmother of my intentions. She got out a small bag and advised me on what to pack and even packed a paper bag lunch with can of soda. She gave me a big hug and wished me well in the world. She told me would miss me and lovely ways. I started walking and then I reached the mailbox. One step and I would be on the road to a new life. The problem—I wasn’t allowed to go beyond the mailbox. A true runaway would have overlooked that problem. But not me, I was a good kid and knew that was one of my grandma’s biggies when it came to rules. You cannot leave the yard. So I camped out under the oak tree near the mailbox. I read my book and ate my lunch. And I thought about my life on the road. My grandmother brought a glass of lemonade and a piece of pound cake. Eventually, the sun went down and I went in the house. My grandmother simply said, “I’m glad you came back. Now wash up for suppe...

This morning, I had a phone interview with the church administrator for a pt receptionist position. I think it went very well considering 475 people have applied for that position. I made it to the second round for a phone interview. I think I am one of about 50 people. This is pretty good. Yesterday, the Emmy nominations were announced. One of my favorite actresses, Chandra Wilson received an Emmy nomination for Grey’s Anatomy. I love this show and don’t like to miss it on Thursday nights. Katherine Hegl was snubbed even though she did some good work this past season. And Neil Patrick Harris is going to host. He did a great job with the Tony Awards. I love the Emmys. Hell, I love most award shows. The dresses are always so beautiful. I love reading fashion mags and putting together my own outfits for less. I have my dream items that I would love to own—a Prada bag and a Vera Wang gown. When I was planning my wedding, I actually touched an $8,000 wedding dress. Then I came to my senses...

I have been busy from the moment I opened my eyes this morning. The editor of NC paper emailed me early this morning that a story I had turned in more than a week ago was running in tomorrow's paper. She had some questions. The only problem is the person who could answer the questions is on her way to Germany as I write. Doing some digging, I found someone to answer my questions. In midst of all this, I had my dentist appointment. It's not everyday you have a dentist say "wow" when looking at your teeth. The verdict--he wants me to have several removed and he will make me some dentures. Getting dentures at 35 is not an easy thing to hear. So I will make the appointment and prepare for all of the removals. Medicaid does not pay for implants but will pay for dentures. Hey, I'm not complaining. My teeth suffered greatly from my ED. Yesterday, the physical went pretty good. I'm 111 lbs with decent cholestrol and my heart is working just fine. They ran some blood a...

I got a late start today but it has been most productive. First, I had a great time in group therapy. My group is a depression group made up of folks who are depressed, have substance abuse problems and me with the ED. Today, we talked about hope and was asked to use an example of when we were at our lowest and how hope kept us going. No one said anything so I spoke up. I talked about at this time last summer, I was 80 pounds, tired and depressed. I told them that at my lowest weight that I knew I needed to do something to survive. My hope was my son. He is what kept me going. Therapist was very impressed because usually I don't have much to say. I am finding myself opening up more about my ED and what I need to be healthy. In about 15minutes, I am having a full physical done. My hubby made a crack over the weekend that my cholestrol is probably through the roof because of my love of butter in my creamy chicken rice and other dishes. I made the appointment to prove him wrong and to...

In about three weeks, my unemployment runs out. I am a little worried but I’m not stressing it. Right now, I am working on a four page application for a part-time job as a residential assistant at an Adult Living Home. I found out yesterday that a paper in the county that I live in has an opening for a reporter. I am putting together a package—resume, cover letter and writing samples. I am trying to be positive but I know I will be going up against hundreds of out of work Charlotte Observer reporters. I am being realistic about my odds of getting this job. So I am going to start applying this week for part-time positions at fast food restaurants. I figure part-time is better than nothing. I’ll keep applying for other jobs. A girl has gotten do what she can to survive in this economy. The Center is still working on getting approval for me to see a therapist there. The meds are helping me with my appetite and my anxiety. But I would like to see a therapist. It is hard to chop through the...

It is another Monday. It is another week full of promise and other stuff. My son is sleeping as I do some phone interviews, plan my week and eat. After my usual bowl of Rice Krispies, I decided to make myself some creamy chicken rice. It hits the spot on a rainy day. The air conditioning ran all night so the house has a little chill to it. I took a look around my room, which is a combination of me and JJ. Here a picture of his favorite comic book heroes that hangs on my closet door. Every time I look at this poster, I think of my son and his very active imagination. He reminds me of a younger me who loved to make up stories and friends. I am glad he got this from me. The other picture is JJ helping me with the housework. He loves to vacuum. A new week means a new list of job prospects. I saw an ad needing a residential assistant for an adult group home. I am going to apply. My Uncle Junior was developmentally delayed. He couldn’t talk or read but we managed to communicate well. I never...

There are days that I wish I had a me. I keep track of all things that are JJ from doctor's apppointments to playdates. At times, I don't think my husband appreciates all of this. He does a lot of running for his parents and disabled sister, which is a lot of hard work. So I try to keep things running smoothly at home. I guess if things are going smoothly there is no need to say anything. I say all of this because my son and I are both allergic to bananas. It will not kill us but it makes us uncomfortable. Anyway, last night my husband comes home with some yogurt for JJ. JJ has eaten half of the container when my husband realizes that it has bananas in it. JJ is fine--no discomfort or anything. If I had made a mistake like this, I would hear about it for the rest of my life. His excuse--I have been tired. The only thing I said was you need to be more careful. Then I went back to eating my cereal and reading my magazine. There was no need for dramatics or yelling. You made a mis...

I have made some progress in getting PBH in giving me a wavier to a place that I will the Center. After having the runaround in PBH phone system, I found someone who knew what I was talking about and didn't leave me hanging. Basically, both PBH and the Center are working together so I can get help. Things have been going okay. I briefly entertained going into the partial hospitalization program at UNC-Chapel Hill. I think I am on pretty stable ground. But I do need to see a therapist soon. I emphasized this to PBH. So hopefully, in the next week or so, I'll have a therapist. The next few days, I will be finishing up my battered women's article for the NC paper and four articles for the SC paper. So I am a very busy Silly Girl. I am thankfully for the opportunities to write because it gets me out of the house. And honestly, some days I am content to stay home, watch General Hospital and cartoons with JJ. I am now focusing on finding a part-time job so I can continue to write...

I have never been so tired. But I'm happy. Yesterday was a busy day with me covering two different assignments for two different newspapers in two different states. I found out the center I want to go to no longer has the intensive out patient program but has other things. The most important thing is that I have started the process of trying to get a wavier so I can receive treatment from the center. Today is group therapy day. Two weeks ago, I applied for a housekeeping job at a local hotel. I didn't get it. I didn't have the qualifications to be a housekeeper. This bothers me. I thought I met the basic qualifications but the hotel didn't. This really pisses me off. I know it shouldn't but it does. I have applied for more than 250 jobs. To say I am frustrated is the understatement of the year. I am trying to be positive but I am frustrated. I just needed to get this off of my chest. I look on the bright side--I have the freelancing gigs and Medicaid so there are so...

My baby has discovered Rice Krispies and can’t get enough of them. I am trying to be more healthy and eat breakfast. I decided to start with Rice Krispies. JJ loves them. It’s relaxing to have a bowl with him while figuring out our day. Rice Krispies and watching Curious George. This is a combination that can’t be beat. This is going to be a busy week full of writing assignments—government meets, a special needs camp and a man who wrote a book. I just love variety. Finally got the Medicaid card in the mail yesterday. My goal is to get into this intensive outpatient eight week program for eating disorders. So keep your fingers and toes crossed. We had a very relaxing Fourth of July. For the first time, I wasn’t going from family function to family function. JJ and I went to the park. We had it all to ourselves where we played in the sand and pretended to walk the plank on a pirate ship. It was the best day that I have had in a long time. Afterwards we went home for ice cream and played ...

I have some really good news. No, I haven't found a job yet. I can now receive medicaid for six months. Today is a happy day. And the first thing I did was make an appointment with a dentist. Maybe in the future, I can take a picture with a smile. I am so happy. And I am looking for a provider that accepts medicaid. After weeks of disappointment, I feel like things are making a turn for the better. I did my first story interview for UCpaper. My story is about the battered women's shelter. The next six months are going to be hectic with story assignments, looking for a job and receiving long overdue medical treatment. Words can't describe how happy I am. I hope everyone has a Happy Fourth of July with plenty of goodies and fireworks. Daily Dose 1. The state of NC for approving me for six months of medicaid. 2. Playtime with my son and nephew!!!!

Today is the beginning of a new month. This morning, I covered a county council meeting. I love government meetings. But here, they do nothing and they only meet for less than a hour. Other reporters would be thrilled with a short meeting. I guess I got spoiled on the meeting in DCounty. They would easily be two to three hours. For the first time in a longtime, I went to sleep in the house by myself. Usually, there is JJ or my hubby. JJ is at my in-laws until Thursday afternoon and the fireworks will keep my hubby busy until Sunday. I didn't sleep well. I guess it was too quiet without my hubby's snores and my son laughing in his sleep. I got up early and brought a newspaper. I live in NC but work in SC. The SC governor has lost his mind. He leaves the state unattended for a few days to go visit his mistress in Argentina on Father's Day weekend. This is one thing. But it's another to give an interview saying that his mistress is his soul mate but is trying to fall back ...