Taking it one meal at a time

-

I have a confession.
 I am not doing well. I have been in denial. I have noticed my clothes are not fitting like they should and I am using a belt more. But I ignored it.
I have skip some meals. A little more than here or there. But I pretended everything was okay. I blamed it on a bad case of food poisoning.
Last week,  I visited my best friend. Nothing slips past her. She was polite but firm in her assessment. She looked me up and down and said I had lost 20 pounds and it was noticeable. And she was very worried.
Between the stress of the job, missing my friends, worrying about money and other things, eating has not been a priority. I am really not sure what to do.
I don’t want to go back on remeron. While I gained weight, it made me so anxious that I had to take anxiety medicine.
Currently, I am not taking any meds. I really wanted to handle life without medication. But I need to be honest with myself. I am one of those people who need medication.
I have found a new doctor and I made an appointment for Aug. 13. I have worked hard to get where I am physically, mentally and in my career.
I have prayed and asked God for some help. And it arrived in the form of Ms. L yestersay. She is the moderator of a new Overeaters Anonymous group here in the county.
She had sent me an email wanting to know if I could do a story. I am not familiar with OA. I thought it was for people who binge eat. Instead, it is for anyone with an eating disorder. Their meeting are once week after deadline for the newspaper.
The first step in having a problem is admitting you have one. The next step is finding help. So I will attend my first meeting next week.
I need to remain healthy so I can be the best possibly person, friend and mom that I can be.
My vacation is next week and my son will be joining me. I am looking forward to spending some quality time with him. My biggest fear is not having him able to visit me and I don't want him visiting me in a hospital.
My son knows I have issues and I am not perfect. So I need to do whatever is needed to get back on the path of recovery and health.
It starts one meal at a time.

DAILY DOSE
1. Having a really good friend!
2. Finding help!
3. My vacation starts in five days!

Comments

  1. SairsJuly 17, 2014 at 4:01 PM

    I'm so sorry that you have had a slip in your recovery. It's so easy to just skip a meal or two until you are out of control. I hope you can get to feeling better soon.
    Sarah

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stopping a downward spiral

-
In the past, my birthday has always been a trigger for me to relapse or get anxious. But for the past two years, my birthday has been my birthday. A day to celebrate my birth.  Around Thanksgiving, I started feeling different. December was just a month of misery. I now realize that my meds had stopped working. So here I stand at a crossroad--I can increase the dosage and continue on my merry way or not. Remeron not only stabilizes my mood but gives me an appetite.  I haven't had one since Thanksgiving. I eat based on time. If it is 7:15 a.m., it is breakfast. By noon, I must eat lunch and dinner between 6 and 7 p.m. If I increased the dosage, the appetite comes back for awhile  but I will gain more weight. This is why I was taking Seroquel to help with anxiety.  I don't think there is a enough Seroquel in the world to deal with my anxiety. And while my therapist is being helpful, he admitted this is beyond him. So we are looking for a therapist outside of the area who can he
Read more

BOOK REVIEW: The Other Emily by Dean Koontz

-
Image
  It is hard to write about "The Other Emily" by Dean Koontz. It is not because it is a bad book. I was pretty pleased with and enjoyed it. But how do you write about a book without giving away key plot points? The synopsis is simple. Emily Carlino vanished 10 years ago after her car broke down on a California highway. She was presumed to be one of serial killer Ronny Lee Jessup’s victims. Her remains were never found. Emily was the love of writer David Thorne’s life. He hasn’t recovered from losing her or from the guilt of not being there to save her. Since then,   Thorne has sought closure any way he can. He visits with Jessup regularly in prison, desperate for answers about Emily’s final hours so he may finally lay her body to rest. Then Thorne meets Maddison Sutton. Everything about Maddison from her face to her kisses is just like Emily.   Is she Emily? Or an irresistible dead ringer? Either way, the ultimate question is the same: What game is she playing? What
Read more

COVID is the worst

-
It has been almost two weeks since my son was diagnosed with COVID-19. COVID is the worst because there are very few ways to treat it. And you can't be near your loved one. So I am calling a few times a day and praying. I visited him on Saturday. He stood at his window and waved at me standing outside of it.   There are 608,946 people in South Carolina who have or had COVID. My son is one of those people.  He isn't just a number. He is a 15-year-old wise-ass who loves to play video games, read anime, and sing. He is not sure what he wants to do with his life but I want him to be able to have a life. 
Read more