NotesFromtheVoices

Since starting the road to recovery, I have rediscovered my love of cooking.  At one time, I was on the road to becoming a chef. This was one of many things that ED derailed.  When ED had control, I limited myself to cooking a few select things. On my limited menuI can't believe I have missed out on so much. Now if I see a recipe I like, I try it. There is such tasty fun in failure.  Recently, I got my hands on some old copies of Bon Appetits. I lived on the edge by making some Honey-Chipotle Turkey Meatballs. They were awesome. A few years ago, I would not have even attempted it.  This is one reason why recovery is so amazing. I am not limiting myself inside a box but branching out. And since I am cooking more, I don't eat out as much which is saving me money.  A few weeks ago, I became obsessed with making the perfect grill cheese. I used various cheeses to see which made a tasty sandwich. My favorites were pepper jack cheese grill cheese and...

Every three weeks, I have to work on Saturday. I look forward to it because I can be off on Mondays. I love having Monday off. It is like to ultimate day off for me. I cook a special meal, watch movies, read  magazines and just veg. I call it Marvelous Mondays. Now sometimes, I may have to cover an evening board of education meeting. But this is my choice. I  have been looking forward to having Monday, June 25 off for the last 10 days. I found out this afternoon from my editor that I will have tomorrow (Friday) in place of Monday due to some stupid  press conference. Since it was education thing that started a year ago, he wanted me to cover it. First of all, this sucks. On the other two reporters' Mondays, I have had cover their things and not know what the hell was going on. With all of the crap I deal with, Marvelous Mondays is what l look forward to. It keeps me somewhat sane and happy. For Monday, I  had planned to cook a roasted garlic chicken Alfredo. I gu...

I have always has a prickly relationship with medications. It bothers me, for one, that some little pills help to keep me balanced. Through the years, I have been on and off various medications. A few weeks ago, I had a realization that I am one of those people who will always have to be on medication. Currently, I take remeron and seroquel. The combination regulates my appetite and my mental well being. Without them, I am an angry, doom and gloom spewing meal restricting bitch. I guess it has always bothered me that I couldn't help myself on my own. It has taken me many years and years of mistakes to realize it is okay to ask for help. Medications are key in my recovery. I can't do it alone. If I could, I wouldn't be writing this. In other news, I have applied for a position at a newspaper that is a hour and half from JJ. I am working on application packet for a job at the beach. And some others have come open. I have started preliminary packing, I have a lot of stuff ...

I hate mirrors. There I said it. They are my archenemy and have ruined many potential good days. But to be honest, it is not the mirror’s fault. My image of myself is a work-in-progress. When I look in the mirror, most days I see a sumo wrestler. So I avoid them. I don’t use the restroom at work because we have two mirrors in the women’s restroom--a full-length that gets as you walk in the door and a second one where you need to wash your hands. So if the day starts out bad at home, I use the facilities at the Burger King across the street. Until I became a healthy body weight, mirrors didn’t bother too me. I realized it is truly an issue when I overheard my co-worker D talking on the phone yesterday. She was telling a contact who I, as the education reporter, was. The person planned to attend an upcoming meeting and wanted to know who to look for at it. D described me as a “small, pretty black lady.” Small. She said small. I don’t feel small. A few months ago, I made peace with...

I had to work this weekend but I went out and did things instead of indulging in my hobby of sleeping. It started Friday night when I got all dressed up to attend the Arts Council Members' event. I am not a member but I scored an invite due to my coverage of the council. And while I wasn't officially covering the event, I took some photos and shot some video to fulfill my monthly video requirement. It was nice getting dressed and being Jackie for a change instead of Jacqueline the reporter. I actually sat at table and had conversation with folks about everyday things and not the newspaper. I felt like real person. But on Saturday morning, it was back to being reporter girl. I covered a car show that was benefiting the local Boys and Girls Club. I am not into cars so I had to work at making the story interesting. It involved a lot of walking so by 5 p.m., I was exhausted. I got my work done. Then  I switch gears to walk down the street from the newspaper to see a coworker ...