It is more than ice skating

The first time I went ice skating was when I turned 21. I wanted to do something besides taking the ceremonial first legal drink.

So a group of friends and I went ice skating in Charlotte. I was young and fearless with strong bones.
I loved it until I fell and developed an irrational fear. I was scared I would fall, someone wouldn’t see me, and end up cutting off all of my fingers. I stopped skating.

Let’s fast forward to December 26 of last year when I was in Rock Hill visiting my family. The tall one and I stayed with my brother and his family. All of them were sick so we got to roam around Rock Hill eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

We ended up in Old Town Rock Hill, which is the downtown area. As we walked around, we heard music and followed the sound to the Founders Holiday Ice Rink.
The tall one had never been ice skating. Now that he is 14, there are not many “firsts” left to experience with him.

I didn’t have to talk him into it but I had to talk myself into it even after I paid the money and was holding the skates.

As I made my way onto the ice, I gripped the side of the rink. I was no longer a graceful twenty-something, I was now a clumsy woman of a certain age who was worried about breaking some bones.
It was fun watching the tall one make his way around the rink. At one point, he fell. He laughed and got back up. It took me forever to get around the rink. A five-year-old and her mother took pity on me and gave me this blue thing to help me balance and not fall.

What had happened? I had let an irrational fear rob me of my proficiency and courage. But as I plodded slowly around the rink, I watched my son skate fearlessly around. Occasionally, he would come by and take my hand to guide me.

A couple of years ago, the tall one was in a car accident and broke his arm in two places. After healing, he hesitated to try things but there he was skating. Now he wasn’t pro but he didn’t fall much. And he wasn’t worried about breaking his arm.

“If I do, you have insurance and I drink a lot of milk,” he said with a laugh.

For a few hours, we had a chance to bond and laugh. Moments like these are getting harder to have with him getting older, getting ready for high school, and girls.

I remember when he would tell me everything that happened in his day from the time he woke up and had breakfast to all the details of his favorite TV show. Now, it would be easier to have all his teeth pulled than to have a conversation with his mom.

While taking a break from skating, we talked about things that were benign to me but world-ending for him. He didn’t want solutions. He just wanted to know that I was listening.

So for a few hours one afternoon after Christmas, I tackled an irrational fear and watched my baby continue to take flight in life. There will be more times that I feel like I am being left behind. But like that afternoon on the ice, I know he will always skate back to me.