Skip to main content

Restoring the soul with VACATION and making a decision

I am back at work after a week long vacation. It was just what my soul needed. 

Plus, I got to spend some much needed time with my son. I wish I could say we went to some cool place like Hawaii or France. Nope. 

We hung out in Pickleland and both of us were happy. We visited parks, a cool new library, toured downtown, watched cheesy sci fi movies and talked. 

Priceless moments that I will always treasure.

I am usually able to see JJ once a month. So our time together is precious. Seven days was an amazing treat. And to get a week means having to talk to JJ’s father. I will admit there are times I avoid physically talking with him and just text him. Sometimes it is easier to get your feeling hurt in a text than in a phone call. It was worth all of the planning, headaches and discussions.

JJ is getting older. And he is crazy smart. One of my goals for next summer is get my life and finances together so I can sign him up for various camps so he will have a more productive vacation.

During this vacation, he decided he was going to be The Cloak. And I would be Pen Woman. He gave me a back story where I accidentally pricked myself with radioactive pen and got super powers. I don't know where he comes up with this stuff.

Things have not been going well for me personally. I have had some dark days. JJ has no clue how much he is my light and motivation.

Denial is a strong force. But I overcame it and made a doctor’s appointment. I have started to restrict. I don’t want my son to know and worry. So I have an appointment. He is a crazy smart kid and can sense when things are wrong. He noticed I had lost weight and was wearing a belt. He simply said “I hope you are okay Mom and I love you no matter what.”
For him, my ED means I have issues. When we go to McDonald’s, he always orders fries and apples. He gives me the fries because he knows I like fries. He gives me fries so he knows I ate something in front of him.

He’s eight. I want him to worry about whether there will be another Iron Man movie or what book bag he should get for the new school year. I don’t want him worrying that his mother is not eating. So I have made an appointment.

I have worked very hard to have my dream job, a cute little apartment and an awesome son. So I have made an appointment, I will go to it and start back taking my meds again.

JJ has the potential to be veterinary, a scientist or anything he wants to be. And I want to be there cheering him on and making sure he has on clean underwear.

So I will see a doctor on Aug. 13 before things get any worst.

1. I have been drinking more water.
2. It's back to school time which means eventually all of it will be on clearance. YAY!!!
3. I love my Pookie Bear!


  1. So glad you are taking the necessary steps needed to take care of yourself and get back on track. It's so cool that you and your son have such a wonderful relationship. Glad you got some quality time in together for a whole week.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stopping ED from gaining

One of the hardest things I had to ever do was to explain my ED to my 11-year-old son. His father had talked to him about it, which I have an issue with  because it is my story and not his. But I have tried to move beyond that.

Anyway, a few weeks I talked to him about it and explained it as best I could. I told him how he is my inspiration to stay in recovery. I know he needs his mom to be healthy to help handle growing up.
One thing I told him was that my relationship with food is not like his relationship. And there will always be a struggle for me. I take it one meal at a time.
I kept all of this in mind when I went to the doctor yesterday to ask for help. In the past three months, my appetite has disappeared. I eat because I don’t want to pass out or to be hospitalized. It hasn’t been easy. I could have let ED win when I realized what was happening. I have only lost 11 pounds. To some this is not much weight but to me it is.
The old me would have been happy about it. The recovering…

Spending time with my son

Memorial Day is always special for me as a reporter and a person. It is a chance to recognize who gave their life so I and others can have the freedom we have. 
Normally, I work and get to take Memorial Day holiday on another day. This year, I got a double bonus. 

I got to spend the long weekend with my son. Things some how worked that my son’s aunt met me halfway and JJ was able to spend three days in Pickle Land with me. He had a chance to see me working and spend quality time together.

JJ is now 11. He is squarely in the pre-teen world. His voice is changing along with other things. My baby is growing up and it scares me. He got to see my new teeth and loved them. He said it was nice to see me so happy. 
We had a chance to talk and just spend some time together. And in two weeks, he returns for a two week involving my week long vacation and a bunch of day camps. It has been a good few days.
The other part is my Memorial Day weekend is this weekend. I'm going to the Lake to hang with…

Adventures at Librari-Con with Samurai Batman

Recently, JJ and I made our second journey to the 11th annual Librari-Con at the Cumberland County Public Library in Fayetteville.  This is an annual anime/graphic novel/sci-fi mini convention that featured anime viewing, panels forums, Artist Alley, Cosplay Runway and more.
What made this event super awesome was the fact that the library was opened at the same time of the event.
For a year, JJ had talked about having a costume after not being able to wear one last year. He was a Samurai Batman.
Apparently, JJ had a growth spurt in the last few weeks so there was struggle getting him into his costume, but a little pulling, binder clips and prayer got the costume on him.

I decided to go as my favorite thing – a mother/photographer/bodyguard/book nerd wearing a Wonder Woman shirt.
JJ decided to add his own special touch to it with a trident and a Flash mask for me. I’m not sure what I was supposed to have been but I played along until lunchtime.
For the first hour, he played free video game…