Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Restoring the soul with VACATION and making a decision

I am back at work after a week long vacation. It was just what my soul needed. 

Plus, I got to spend some much needed time with my son. I wish I could say we went to some cool place like Hawaii or France. Nope. 

We hung out in Pickleland and both of us were happy. We visited parks, a cool new library, toured downtown, watched cheesy sci fi movies and talked. 

Priceless moments that I will always treasure.

I am usually able to see JJ once a month. So our time together is precious. Seven days was an amazing treat. And to get a week means having to talk to JJ’s father. I will admit there are times I avoid physically talking with him and just text him. Sometimes it is easier to get your feeling hurt in a text than in a phone call. It was worth all of the planning, headaches and discussions.

JJ is getting older. And he is crazy smart. One of my goals for next summer is get my life and finances together so I can sign him up for various camps so he will have a more productive vacation.

During this vacation, he decided he was going to be The Cloak. And I would be Pen Woman. He gave me a back story where I accidentally pricked myself with radioactive pen and got super powers. I don't know where he comes up with this stuff.

Things have not been going well for me personally. I have had some dark days. JJ has no clue how much he is my light and motivation.

Denial is a strong force. But I overcame it and made a doctor’s appointment. I have started to restrict. I don’t want my son to know and worry. So I have an appointment. He is a crazy smart kid and can sense when things are wrong. He noticed I had lost weight and was wearing a belt. He simply said “I hope you are okay Mom and I love you no matter what.”
For him, my ED means I have issues. When we go to McDonald’s, he always orders fries and apples. He gives me the fries because he knows I like fries. He gives me fries so he knows I ate something in front of him.

He’s eight. I want him to worry about whether there will be another Iron Man movie or what book bag he should get for the new school year. I don’t want him worrying that his mother is not eating. So I have made an appointment.

I have worked very hard to have my dream job, a cute little apartment and an awesome son. So I have made an appointment, I will go to it and start back taking my meds again.

JJ has the potential to be veterinary, a scientist or anything he wants to be. And I want to be there cheering him on and making sure he has on clean underwear.

So I will see a doctor on Aug. 13 before things get any worst.

1. I have been drinking more water.
2. It's back to school time which means eventually all of it will be on clearance. YAY!!!
3. I love my Pookie Bear!

1 comment:

  1. So glad you are taking the necessary steps needed to take care of yourself and get back on track. It's so cool that you and your son have such a wonderful relationship. Glad you got some quality time in together for a whole week.


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