Skip to main content

I'll get it together, I hope

One of my favorite commercials is the GEICO car insurance Pillsbury Doughboy one. It is where he is going through airport security and keeps doing his trademark laugh. Near the end of it, the Doughboy says "I'll get it together, I promise."

Posing for my newspaper photo that runs on the opinion page. 


This is how I feel right now. I can't seem to get it together. My new job has me making more money and a nice title but I am still doing the same thing. I'm not bored but things are so unstructured. Essentially,  I can do whatever I want as long as there are four stories in each of the two issues.

I realized this morning while getting ready for work. I'm depressed and sad. I miss my old job, friends and the structure of the job.

The folks at my new job are nice but we  do our own thing. There isn't much team work. The other reporter is different and pretty much does whatever she wants. She bregrudingly gave up the education beat so I would have something to do. Basically, I have hustled to find stories and hit the pavement.

I need to vent and this is my moment. She can't write. We are night and day. Even though, there is a loose dress code. I dress nice because I am meeting the public. A public ranging from a superintendent to youth in the Boys and Girls Club. Today, I am wearing khakis and a really nice Anne Klein sweater that I found at the Goodwill. She is wearing a black and white t-shirt with zebra jeggings and tennis shoes. When I saw her, I actually went speechless. I couldn't even say "good morning." I mean I took the time to iron my white dress shirt to go with my sweater. I know I must sound like a very awful person.

We are reporters. We represent the newspaper. When people think of it, they will remember us. But this is how things have been for the last 12 years that she has been with the newspaper. I refuse to lower my standard. It is not how I am or how I was raised. Maybe, I should chill the out.

I had to go to my happy place -- the library. It was there in the quiet calmness that I realize that I can't change others. I can only change myself. And now after visiting the library, a cute thrift shop and Long John Silver's, I am back at work.

I have got to get it together because no structure means no eating. I started the year as a size 10. Currently, I am in the  four to six size range. I am eating but not enough to really fill out a size six. I have to get it together. If it is noticeable to me, it will be noticeable to others. Especially my son and I don't want to worry him.

I can't afford to be sick or without work. When you start a new job, there is no insurance for 90 days. This means no therapist or med check. I have a doctor's appointment next week, which will keep me in meds until the insurance kicks in.

I just got to get it together.

DAILY DOSE

1. I am in search of the perfect pair of boots for fall/winter. Boots I plan to live in.

2. It's Wednesday. Time for my hump day call to JJ.

3. Being thankful for all of my blessing.




Comments

  1. There are going to be pros and cons with every job. Even with weirdo in the jeggings it seems the pros will still outweigh the cons. If you are naturally settling at a 4-6 and eating well maybe it's not a bad thing? But you know yourself and your body. It sounds like you are being mindful of it which is good. Take Care!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. No, you don't sound like an awful person. I loved the job and people at the newspaper, but some of them dressed like they were going out to garden or something. I think I'm old school - you dress nice for work. It took me a long time to be able to wear blue jeans on Fridays, and I still wouldn't do it if I was going to meet with anyone.

    Perhaps as assistant editor you could eventually institute some changes?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happy New Year!!!!

Happy New Year! I will admit that 2017 wasn't the worst year of my life but it wasn't the best. I feel like I spent the entire time trying to go uphill. And when I was close to the top, I would get knocked back down. Some high points were my son turned 12 and I got a cat.

Anyway, it is a new year and it is full of possibilities. I can feel in my gut that things are going to be better this year. I have set some public goals and one very private goal.

My first goal is to stop taking things so seriously. I want to enjoy life more.
This leads to my second goal, which is not to work so hard. I feel like I base my life around work. In 2017, I started saying no more and focusing on me. In 2018, I want to have  more of a work/life balance.
My third goal is to volunteer more. I don't just want to write about volunteering but to actually do it.
I will always continue to try reading more.
I want to be a better mom for my son and a better friend and family member to others.
I want to put mys…

Unpacking more than boxes

It took me roughly two weeks to pack up my life in Pickle Land and move to South Carolina. It was two weeks of packing during every spare moment I had.

It is taking me much longer to unpack. I am about halfway there. A few weeks ago, I found some of my photo albums and an album with articles I wrote while in college. The first story that I had ever written was in there. I showed it to my son.

I took my son on a trip down memory lane. I showed him pictures of me as a child, in high school, in school, and with his dad.

One photo that made him pause was a photo of me at 73 pounds in a bikini. It was taken at a Memorial Day cookout when I was in the mid-20s. I can still hear the sounds my friends made when I stepped outside to the pool. At the time, I thought they were amazed by how good I looked. No, they were shocked by how skinny I was.

Years ago, my son's father shared my ED story with him. I am not ashamed of my fight with ED but it was my story to tell. Plus, my son was about si…

Visiting 'home'

Happy belated Independence Day!

For the first time in forever, I had the Fourth of July off. Actually, it was three days. And it was amazing. It was a chance to visit Eastern North Carolina. I consider this area home because it is the place where I feel like I found myself.

I hadn't been back since I moved in February. I have been homesick so I didn't want to go back. When I left SC on July 5, I was more than ready to go back. I just meandered up I-95.

I exited after Fayetteville because I wanted to have a pit stop in Goldsboro, NC so I could go to my favorite Goodwill and hit up Books-a-Million. 

I never go thrift store shopping with a clear goal in mind. I always start in shoes and then head to dresses. I take a break and go to books. Then it is back to skirts and shirts. I have mastered the art of the scan while making my way down the different rows. Overall, I brought some books, a purse and a cool pair of boots.

Once back on the road, I headed for exit 171 for Roanoke Rapids, …