Thankful to be able to be thankful

-


My favorite holiday in the whole wide world is Thanksgiving. I have always loved it. The food, fellowship and being thankful for all things. 
Thanksgiving became even more special for me about seven years ago.

 It was when I fell in love with the most beautiful little boy in the world--my JJ. 
My boy turns the big 7 on Friday and I can’t wait to see him to give him lots of hugs and kisses. 
I became pregnant with him when I was thick in ED. It wasn’t an easy pregnancy because it was a daily fight to eat and maintain an appropriate weight. But I fight hard because I wanted to make sure he had a chance. And he has taken his chance and ran with it.
At four feet, he is all boy who wants to do and try everything in life. I am surprised he hasn’t had major injuries with some of his adventures.
We have a phone ritual that we do everytime we talk. It is called “I love you more than ...” A recent phone call:
Me--I love you more than all of the magazines in the world.
JJ--That’s a lot of love Mommy because you love magazines!
JJ--Mommy, I love you more than all the stars in the galaxy.
Me--Wow, that a lot of love because there are tons of stars out there.
JJ--I know. It means my love for you is unlimited.

It made me want to cry. At times, I feel like I am the worst mother because I am not not with him everyday but I know in my heart being in RR for now is the best thing.
When we are together, it makes the time much more sweeter. So Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. And a special Happy Birthday to my sweet boy!

DAILY DOSE (Thanksgiving style)
1. I am thankful for my son.
2. I am thankful to be able to do what I love to do each day--write.
3. I am thankful I have had only a few bumps in the road in recovery this year.

Comments

  1. Cece @Mahogany DriveNovember 22, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    So sweet!!! Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Birthday to your son. As a mom sometimes you have to do what is best even if it means being apart. That is being totally selfless and not selfish even if it might feel that way. Enjoy your precious time together.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stopping a downward spiral

-
In the past, my birthday has always been a trigger for me to relapse or get anxious. But for the past two years, my birthday has been my birthday. A day to celebrate my birth.  Around Thanksgiving, I started feeling different. December was just a month of misery. I now realize that my meds had stopped working. So here I stand at a crossroad--I can increase the dosage and continue on my merry way or not. Remeron not only stabilizes my mood but gives me an appetite.  I haven't had one since Thanksgiving. I eat based on time. If it is 7:15 a.m., it is breakfast. By noon, I must eat lunch and dinner between 6 and 7 p.m. If I increased the dosage, the appetite comes back for awhile  but I will gain more weight. This is why I was taking Seroquel to help with anxiety.  I don't think there is a enough Seroquel in the world to deal with my anxiety. And while my therapist is being helpful, he admitted this is beyond him. So we are looking for a therapist outside of the area...
Read more

Disturbance in the world of Jack

-
Let me start by saying that I am okay. And considering the way crime is in RR, it could have been a lot worst. I keep odd hours. I can leave for work at 7:30 a.m. and sometimes I don't come home until 8 or 9 p.m.  Last Friday night, I actually got done early at 5 p.m. and went to the grocery store. While at the store, I debated canned peas or frozen peas (very important later). I ended up with canned ones because the frozen brand I like was not at Food Lion. I drive home in a fairly decent mood because I will be home before 6:30 p.m. and can watch the news. I live on a street with lots of duplexes and kids. The road running parallel to my street is very busy, no sidewalks and no street lights. People walking tend to walk in people's yards so they don't get hit by a car. Plus, pedestrians and bikers in RR, don't wear light colored clothes at night. This puts them at serious risk for injury. This is a personal pet peeve of mine.  I pull into my driveway, park in front...
Read more

RR is alive with the sounds of music

-
Music is key in my life. I don’t know what I would do without it. As a teenager, I loved to make mixtapes for friends and families. And now, I love making mix cds to listen to on long road trips home or when I am out covering NH county. I guess along with pens, magazines and libraries, music is my thing. Most of the time, when I am writing, I like to listen to music. My favorite thing is to turn on Itunes radio and just listen to various songs. It is how I discover musicians like Evans Blue or Sia. It is one thing that remained throughout my struggles with my ED. I never loss my love of music. Sometimes it was the only thing that could calm my mind when it was consumed by thoughts of ED. Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. --E. Y. Harburg Some of my favorite memories are tied to songs. I can remember my feelings being at that Dave Matthew concert. I can remember how I felt seeing my mom dance to Earth, Wind and Fire and Chic...
Read more