Skip to main content

Taking the high road when I really want to do something awful

JJ will not be coming to RR for a visit. To say that I am disappointed and angry is the understatement of the year. My son is wise beyond on young life and has dealt with things most kids haven't--death of two grandmothers, a mom with ED and his parents' separation. It is a lot for a child to deal with at the age of five. His dad asked him about a visit with me in RR. But with everything, it depends all in how you explain. My son thinks he is being sent to live with me so he doesn't want to come for a visit because he is scared that he can't come back.

I could be a real bitch and force the issue and make him come. But the whole visit would have JJ wondering in the back of his mind if he is being forced to stay. So instead, I will travel south for his birthday and spend a few days with my son. I will take the high road. But make no mistake, it is known how upset I am. I will not ruin my child's birthday. He deserves to have his magically day where he is king. We will go to the movies, buy him his favorite toy and do what he wants. 

When we talked on the phone last night, I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. He wants a Thundercats action figure. I used to watch Thundercats as a kid. I said I would try to find one. He told me not to worry about because Santa would take care of it. JJ told me that only thing for his birthday from me is me. He just wants me. It made me feel good and wanted. I miss a lot not being with him everyday. 

 I  have to admit, I am very sad. I wanted him here for Thanksgiving. I had made many plans involving parks,  movies and cooking. And instead, I  have to put on a brave face. These are the things you do for your child. Sometimes you sacrifice your happiness for the greater good--a pretty well adjusted kid, who is awesome. So I take the high road even though I want to gut my husband like a fish. Because this is what he has done to me. 

Daily Dose

1. The cheddar biscuit from Hardees--Those things are addicting.

2. Grey's Anatomy--The show has gotten its groove back.

3. My sweet awesome son


  1. What is your husband's reason behind this decision? And remember you have rights involving seeing and visiting your son, too. I am afraid that this might be the start of a trend, and I would hate to see you and your son lose the closeness you share. I am angry at your husband. He had no right to scare JJ like that. It is manipulative and just plain wrong. I supposed I am so angry because I know how manipulative estranged husbands can be. But you lost your mother, too, and you do have the right to have your son spend Thanksgiving at your home. While I admire you are taking the high road, again, I hope this isn't the start of fewer visits with JJ. It almost sounds like your husband is turning him against you. Just be careful. I'm so sorry.


  2. I agree with Angela. Yes, putting on a brave face is what we do for our children, but don't let your husband use it as a weapon against you. Hold his feet to the fire; if he currently has primary custody, he has an even greater obligation to take the high road. Point him in the right direction, and remind him that his screw-ups can become your gains, if that how he really wants to play it.

  3. Totally random, but do you mean RR in Springfield? The fact that you are handling your situation the way you are shows me that you are dedicated enough as a mother to beat ed. When a mother wants to get something done for her child out of love, she always does. You have great character and it shows. I'm sorry things are working out this way for the time being, but you are strong and things will get better.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unpacking more than boxes

It took me roughly two weeks to pack up my life in Pickle Land and move to South Carolina. It was two weeks of packing during every spare moment I had.

It is taking me much longer to unpack. I am about halfway there. A few weeks ago, I found some of my photo albums and an album with articles I wrote while in college. The first story that I had ever written was in there. I showed it to my son.

I took my son on a trip down memory lane. I showed him pictures of me as a child, in high school, in school, and with his dad.

One photo that made him pause was a photo of me at 73 pounds in a bikini. It was taken at a Memorial Day cookout when I was in the mid-20s. I can still hear the sounds my friends made when I stepped outside to the pool. At the time, I thought they were amazed by how good I looked. No, they were shocked by how skinny I was.

Years ago, my son's father shared my ED story with him. I am not ashamed of my fight with ED but it was my story to tell. Plus, my son was about si…

Visiting 'home'

Happy belated Independence Day!

For the first time in forever, I had the Fourth of July off. Actually, it was three days. And it was amazing. It was a chance to visit Eastern North Carolina. I consider this area home because it is the place where I feel like I found myself.

I hadn't been back since I moved in February. I have been homesick so I didn't want to go back. When I left SC on July 5, I was more than ready to go back. I just meandered up I-95.

I exited after Fayetteville because I wanted to have a pit stop in Goldsboro, NC so I could go to my favorite Goodwill and hit up Books-a-Million. 

I never go thrift store shopping with a clear goal in mind. I always start in shoes and then head to dresses. I take a break and go to books. Then it is back to skirts and shirts. I have mastered the art of the scan while making my way down the different rows. Overall, I brought some books, a purse and a cool pair of boots.

Once back on the road, I headed for exit 171 for Roanoke Rapids, …

Happy New Year!!!!

Happy New Year! I will admit that 2017 wasn't the worst year of my life but it wasn't the best. I feel like I spent the entire time trying to go uphill. And when I was close to the top, I would get knocked back down. Some high points were my son turned 12 and I got a cat.

Anyway, it is a new year and it is full of possibilities. I can feel in my gut that things are going to be better this year. I have set some public goals and one very private goal.

My first goal is to stop taking things so seriously. I want to enjoy life more.
This leads to my second goal, which is not to work so hard. I feel like I base my life around work. In 2017, I started saying no more and focusing on me. In 2018, I want to have  more of a work/life balance.
My third goal is to volunteer more. I don't just want to write about volunteering but to actually do it.
I will always continue to try reading more.
I want to be a better mom for my son and a better friend and family member to others.
I want to put mys…