Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Taking the high road when I really want to do something awful
JJ will not be coming to RR for a visit. To say that I am disappointed and angry is the understatement of the year. My son is wise beyond on young life and has dealt with things most kids haven't--death of two grandmothers, a mom with ED and his parents' separation. It is a lot for a child to deal with at the age of five. His dad asked him about a visit with me in RR. But with everything, it depends all in how you explain. My son thinks he is being sent to live with me so he doesn't want to come for a visit because he is scared that he can't come back.
I could be a real bitch and force the issue and make him come. But the whole visit would have JJ wondering in the back of his mind if he is being forced to stay. So instead, I will travel south for his birthday and spend a few days with my son. I will take the high road. But make no mistake, it is known how upset I am. I will not ruin my child's birthday. He deserves to have his magically day where he is king. We will go to the movies, buy him his favorite toy and do what he wants.
When we talked on the phone last night, I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. He wants a Thundercats action figure. I used to watch Thundercats as a kid. I said I would try to find one. He told me not to worry about because Santa would take care of it. JJ told me that only thing for his birthday from me is me. He just wants me. It made me feel good and wanted. I miss a lot not being with him everyday.
I have to admit, I am very sad. I wanted him here for Thanksgiving. I had made many plans involving parks, movies and cooking. And instead, I have to put on a brave face. These are the things you do for your child. Sometimes you sacrifice your happiness for the greater good--a pretty well adjusted kid, who is awesome. So I take the high road even though I want to gut my husband like a fish. Because this is what he has done to me.
1. The cheddar biscuit from Hardees--Those things are addicting.
2. Grey's Anatomy--The show has gotten its groove back.
3. My sweet awesome son
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