Thursday, November 3, 2011

Battling the duo--fatigue and ED

Despite my best efforts this week, I have worked late hours each day. I try to take it easy on the last week of the month because I have to be on the go all the time for meetings. This week has rough. I realize I am falling back into some old habits that could lead me straight back to ED. One, I am consume with wanting to be alone and sleeping. And wanting to eat alone. These are my warning signs. It has taken a longtime to realize this but I am glad I do.

So I am trying to be proactive. I am looking getting more involved in the community or doing something outside of Reporter Jackie. I just want to be Jackie. But I am finding that to be hard because everyone wants Reporter Jackie to make sure their organization is in the newspaper. 

Plus, I got some interesting texts from the husband last night. He told JJ about the upcoming Thanksgiving visit. JJ wasn’t happy because his dad told him that he wasn’t coming. JJ is five and he wants his parents to be together. He enjoys when the three of us are together. We will talk about this later today. I was approved for the time off. Honestly, if he can't come up here. I probably will not stay there. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. There is something about good food and gratitude that warms my heart. Christmas is my least favorite holiday. Some of my worst memories center around that holiday.

Right now, I am just venting because I am tired, overworked and stressed about everything. For all the work I do at this newspaper, I make slightly over minimum wage. The mantra of do more for less has gotten old with me and several of my co-workers. How can one person expect to churn out stories for the newspaper, two magazines and other things in 40 hours. It is insane. I am being patient until January and then I will ask about a raise.

Yesterday was my breaking point. For weeks, I have worked on the cover story for our women's  magazine. I was pretty proud of it. I found out on Wednesday that the boss' boss wanted a holiday cover so my story was pushed to February. Not only do I have to tell the lady I wrote the story about that it is not coming out this year but I also had to come with an alternate story for the cover. I spent yesterday afternoon doing a photo shoot for a holiday food. And while the food looked great and tasted great, it put me behind on other things. I got home before 10  p.m. last night.

I am grateful to have a job in this economy. But sometimes I feel that myself and fellow folks are being taken advantage of. We give so much but get nothing in return except more work. I just needed to vent. If things fester, they lead to ulcers.


1. The cheddar biscuit from Hardees is amazing.

2. I am cooking lunch at my apartment for a friend. Trying to break cycle of being a hermit.

3. A little over 20 days before JJ returns to RR!!!!

1 comment:

  1. I'm having the same problem with wanting to be alone and not be with people. So I did take my mom to lunch for her birthday yesterday and went to a friend's house for lunch today to break the cycle. I know it is hard - right now I would stay in my house without leaving if I could.

    I'm sorry work is so stressful. That is one of the reasons I took the buyout and left journalism - I was working lots of extra hours without any extra pay, and it was just too stressful for my recovery. Still, I loved journalism and it was painful to leave the paper. I hope it lets up for you, and I'm glad you get to see JJ soon!!! It must be hard to explain to him all the things going on, with your husband living one place and you another. Just know the most important thing is that he has two parents who love him and he gets to spend time with. All this other stuff won't get to him as long as he knows he is loved, and I am sure you already know that. :)

    Take care of yourself!!!



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