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Stopping a downward spiral

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In the past, my birthday has always been a trigger for me to relapse or get anxious. But for the past two years, my birthday has been my birthday. A day to celebrate my birth.  Around Thanksgiving, I started feeling different. December was just a month of misery. I now realize that my meds had stopped working. So here I stand at a crossroad--I can increase the dosage and continue on my merry way or not. Remeron not only stabilizes my mood but gives me an appetite.  I haven't had one since Thanksgiving. I eat based on time. If it is 7:15 a.m., it is breakfast. By noon, I must eat lunch and dinner between 6 and 7 p.m. If I increased the dosage, the appetite comes back for awhile  but I will gain more weight. This is why I was taking Seroquel to help with anxiety.  I don't think there is a enough Seroquel in the world to deal with my anxiety. And while my therapist is being helpful, he admitted this is beyond him. So we are looking for a therapist outside of the area...
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Still hanging in there

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I still have the car situation. I was ready to give up and go back home. But my managing editor and news editor refuses to give up. They love my writing and said they will do everything in their power to help me figure out the car situation. This gives me hope that all is still good in the world. I have had some down moments where I felt like restricting. Wednesday was not a good day because I skipped lunch because I had no appetite. I am starting to feel better and reread some journal entries to motivate myself. Since I am up here this weekend, I decided to have some food. After work, I walked to Little Caesars an ordered the $5 large sausage pizza. I have already eaten three slices. This is something I wouldn't have done a few months ago. Plus tonight is the broadcast premiere of 300. I love that movie and all the handsome men. I'm feeling a lot better all of a sudden. Today is September 11. In 2001, I was in Pickle Land. I had just started the job the month before. That morn...
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Surprise visit with JJ

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JJ being JJ! Of late, my days off involve sleeping. But I did something different last Sunday. My son was two hours away near Burlington, NC so I happily gave up sleeping to see him.  And it was so worth it. Seeing him has re-energized me so much. We played super heroes, saw the Spiderman movie and went to McDonald's. All in all, it was the best day I have had in a long time. Of course, anytime with JJ is good time. I took tons of photos for my photo album but I had to share two. I want you to see how much he has grown. He's six but looks so much older. Me goofing around with him. He is almost as tall as me. Relaxing after a day of fun! In a few more days, I will be on vacation. I am not sure what I am going to do. But whatever I do, it will involved my son. DAILY DOSE 1. Spending an unscheduled day with JJ. 2. Vacation countdown has begun. Five days to go. 3. It is only 95 degrees and not 100 degrees .
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