Angry shouldn't be a state of mind
I should change my name from Silly Girl to Angry Girl. I am tired of being angry. I wake up this way and go to bed this way. Yesterday, I was so mad that I almost kicked a dog and tripped a co-worker. I didn't do it but I thought about it. This is not healthy. I am frustrated by how things are going in my life (mainly work). I don't like being so negative and bitter at the world. I mean I am not a happy go lucky person but I do try to have a balance. Balance is good. It keeps the karma good.
So I am taking matters in my own hand to find a balance. I felt better after going to church Sunday and I am going home to visit JJ this weekend. He always makes me feel better about life.
To keep things in perspective I am working on a list of things I am grateful. My list keeps me in a a happy place.
1. My son JJ, who is my heart and soul.
There are more things but these take me to a happy place. And help to take me from being Angry Girl to Silly Girl.
So I am taking matters in my own hand to find a balance. I felt better after going to church Sunday and I am going home to visit JJ this weekend. He always makes me feel better about life.
To keep things in perspective I am working on a list of things I am grateful. My list keeps me in a a happy place.
I am grateful for :
1. My son JJ, who is my heart and soul.2. My favorite aunt Em, who reminds me of my mother.
3. My shoe collection that represents my many moods.
4. My purse collection, which is stored in what should be the pantry full of food.
5. Being able to tune ED out 85 percent of the time.
6. Blasting my favorite songs on the radio while dancing around the living room.
7. Chicken tenders with ranch dressing
8. Chicken alfredo made by the cool catering chick
9. Having the ability to write 350 words on a subject for an article when there is really nothing to write.
10. Knowing its okay to veg on the couch while reading magazines and eating Snapple popsicles.
11. Snapple popsicles--how I love thee
12. Understanding the importance of being the family photographer
13. Listening to my son and nephew talk while eating cookies and drinking juice. It is like watching two little old men in the bodies of five-year-olds. The Spongebob vs Bob the Builder was the funniest conversation I have ever overheard.
14. Having a giant pancake with tons of butter, syrup and bacon for lunch.
15. Reminding myself that this job provides the insurance for the meds I need to help me make it through each day. So I am grateful for my remeron. That one little pill makes all the difference in the world.
There are more things but these take me to a happy place. And help to take me from being Angry Girl to Silly Girl.
This post is helping me remember to be grateful too. Life really is too short to be angry.
ReplyDeleteI have been happy the past few days. Right up until I got to numbers 7&8 on your list. I am now so hungry for the afore mentioned food that I could kick a dog. Ok...not a dog but a co-worker. Wishing you peace and JOY!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are going through such a rough time! I know that journalism is a tough field, and it can sometimes be a lot of work with little in return. I imagine there probably have been cutback there, and you are overworked...it sounds pretty familiar. Maybe you could use a punching bag to get some of that anger out. You have a lot of reasons to be angry right now; you've had a lot of losses and I know you miss your son during the week, and the uncertainties of your marriage...Anyone would be falling apart with all that.
ReplyDeleteBut hang in there! You are doing so great with overcoming your eating disorder, and you will get through this, too.
{{{Hugs}}}
Angela
P.S. Dancing in the living room sounds like an awesome idea. I've been trying to think of something physical to do to get rid of my anger and stress, but I hate formal exercises. Thanks for the idea!
ReplyDelete