Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Whatever happen to good manners and being nice

It has been awhile but a lot has happened. JJ didn't come for spring break. My mother-in-law took a turn for the worst and died a few hours after I arrived last Thursday. I am exhausted. The last few days have been a whirlwind of funeral preparations and other stuff. While it was bittersweet, I did get to spend a ton of time with JJ. He is an awesome kid. I can't imagine losing two grandmothers I love months apart. He is quite a trouper. The boy is a bundle of energy and questions.

He no longer wants to be an evil scientist. He wants be a skateboarding ninja. I am glad that I have the energy to run around with him.  Someday, he will come to RR but I am  not going to stress about it. After what I have seen in the past few days, I am happy to be able to spend some time with him.

When my mother died in September, I was painfully thin. I weigh about 95 pounds. I now weigh 145 pounds. It is a noticeable difference because I went from a size 0 to a size 6. A lot of people including my brother haven't seen me since Christmas. I look healthy and because a  lot of the weight went to my stomach, I look about two months pregnant. I am exercising to tone up but for the most part was comfortable with everything. Then I went home.

I can't tell you how many times I was asked if I was pregnant or when was the baby due. And my brother informed me that I had let myself go. Whatever happen to manners. Those comments were hurtful. And I let these people know that you don't say those things to anyone especially someone recovering from an eating disorder. I will admit to skipping a meal here and there because I didn't feel like being watched. In my mind, I feel like I am ginormous. In reality, I know I am not and still have a ways to go in my recovery. This is why I don't like to leave RR. I like my world here where people are little more respectful.

So between the death of a really cool lady, missing my son and being called fat (Yes, someone said I had gotten fat in RR) and jumping back into work head first, I am a little frazzled. I just  needed to vent. It is moments like this that I really miss my mother. She would know what to say. Plus, she would smack my brother into next week.

Daily Dose

1. Orange soda soothes the frazzled silly girl!

2. Finding some kick ass boots on my desk from a co-worker.

3. Spending tons of time with JJ.

2 comments:

  1. JJ seems like an adorable kid. Your family is in my prayers. You're very strong, too, especially in all that you're dealing with- it's really motivational. Be strong!

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  2. my roommate is Korean, and says in her culture (whether family or national, I'm not sure) it's normal to berate someone's appearance, seeing a healthy normal weight gain as a cause for derision. And my best friend is Italian, and if she drops so much as a pound her extended family rallies around her asking "Why you unhappy??" I've always felt either way would be uncomfortable. I'm so sorry about those comments from your family- I can't believe they know about your ed and still think it's appropriate to comment. hold your head up.

    <3

    ReplyDelete

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