Thursday, March 31, 2011

End of March brings food poisoning, sinus issues and weight obession

It has been forever since I updated. I have had a bout of food poisoning and now dealing with a nasty sinus thing. In addition, I am having some ED issues. This is not a happy time for me. Plus thing are insane at work and in my personal life. It makes one want to retreat the comfy bed and hide under the covers.

The food poisoning was scary because I was sick. I am just now getting comfortable with eating again.
With my crazy schedule, I thought I was getting tired but no sick. There is no time to be sick because we only have three reporters and one is covering a court case. So the remaining reporter and I are struggling to do our jobs and keep from ending up in the hospital.

All of the meds I am taking to get well are wrecking havoc on me taking my meds. I learned that my remeron and dayquil together makes me jumpy and little paranoid. And never watch horror movies while taking nightquil especially zombie ones. Let’s just say things got interesting in the middle of the night.

EDwise, I saw my therapist. I have become obsessed with numbers. How much I weigh, how much I eat and stuff like that. During my appointment, I asked him if I could weigh myself.
Dr. M--I don’t think that would be wise. You are a little to focused on your weight.
Me--I think I am doing fine. I just wanted to know.
Dr. M--What happens when you find out. If the number isn’t what you want to hear, are you going to restrict? I know you don’t have access to a scale so I think it is best that you stay off the scale.
I thanked him and walked out of the session. As I drove back to work, I realized what I did was not cool. So I called back and apologized.

I know obsessing is not healthy. So I am trying to focus on other things and not my weight. I could go and buy my own scale. But that would lead me down a road that I don’t want to travel on.
Thanks to being sick and working, I haven’t had time to worry about my weight. I just worry about if I will ever feel like myself again.

Daily Dose
1. Orange soda makes me feel better.
2. I don’t have to work this weekend.
3. Warm weather is returning.

2 comments:

  1. I've commented before, I hope you don't mind me commenting again. First of all, nothing stinks more than food poisoning... accompanied by unwanted ED thoughts. Kudos for calling your therapist and apologizing!!!! I wish I never had my scale. I too have been focused on numbers of all sorts (which is odd for me as I never was a numbers gal)... but what I have found that helps me is when the thoughts come, lets say when I need to eat.. I get my meal ready, and if need be, I will sit w/ my computer, pen and paper, t.v. on, heck I've even called people (which grosses me out)...just to keep my train of thought NOT focused on the food (calories or what have you). When all else fails, I self talk, "you need this" "this isn't bad for you" "almost done". Little things work. Hope you are feeling better soon.

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  2. I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well. Your doctor is right - stay away from the scale because the number will not make you happy no matter what.

    Do you think all the added stress, including your personal life, is bringing back some of the ED symptoms? It sounds like you could use a break, a vacation or at least some relaxing time. Hopefully this weekend will help.

    I like orange soda, too.

    {{{Hugs}}}
    Angela

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