NotesFromtheVoices

It has been forever since I updated. I have had a bout of food poisoning and now dealing with a nasty sinus thing. In addition, I am having some ED issues. This is not a happy time for me. Plus thing are insane at work and in my personal life. It makes one want to retreat the comfy bed and hide under the covers. The food poisoning was scary because I was sick. I am just now getting comfortable with eating again. With my crazy schedule, I thought I was getting tired but no sick. There is no time to be sick because we only have three reporters and one is covering a court case. So the remaining reporter and I are struggling to do our jobs and keep from ending up in the hospital. All of the meds I am taking to get well are wrecking havoc on me taking my meds. I learned that my remeron and dayquil together makes me jumpy and little paranoid. And never watch horror movies while taking nightquil especially zombie ones. Let’s just say things got interesting in the middle of the night. ...

Yesterday, I had a reality check. I have been stressing and moping about various things in my life. In the past few weeks, there have been plenty of woe is me moments. I had a chance to meet and interview a group of wounded warriors yesterday for the newspaper. A lot of them had been wounded in the war in Iraqi. Having a chance to meet with them made me realize just how fortunate I am. I admire anyone who is willing to put their life on the line to protect their country and freedom. It sadden me that several of them were so young. When I was 22, I wasn’t dodging IEDs or dismantling a weapon. Sometimes, we need a reality check to show us what is important in life. Last night, I had a discussion with my husband about JJ’s upcoming spring break. There are a lot of factors involved such as his mother dying of lung cancer and him not wanting JJ so far away. He felt like I was doing well with meds but was concerned about sending JJ up here. I told him that I am doing fine and he is welco...

For the first time in a longtime, I felt like me. Today was a very good day. I was allowed to cover a women's conference for the newspaper and magazine. It was a very empowering experience. While at the event, I didn't realize just how many people I have come in contact with while living in RR. It was just fun. And I need fun and uplifting in my life. I had to do my Sunday profile and ended up meeting someone who I think I will become friends with. I interviewed her over lunch and came away speechless. An outstanding woman who doesn't understand just how valuable she is to the community. Like I said, today was a great day. I had a chance to interview renowned poet Nikki Giovanni. I have read her work and seen her on tv but in person, the lady is awesome. I had a chance to not only be a professional journalist but a fan as well. Someone was nice enough to snap a picture of me with her. Today was good day. The photographer has her picture taken! And for the first t...

Today, my mother would have been 54 years old. I had to request the urge to call her cell and wish her a happy birthday. I still can’t believe she is gone. Last year, we celebrated her birthday and thought there would be a few more. The best way to honor my mother is to be the best person she raised. She instilled in me a pretty good work ethic and a love for clothes. And to help those who are in need. Even though, my husband and I are still existing. I am trying to be there for him because his mother is in her final days of lung cancer. I know that he and his four siblings will be devastated. They are a closer knit family than mine. And we all grief differently. So when the time comes, I will be there for him and JJ. I will grief some too. She is an awesome lady just like mom was. Yesterday, I went to one of my mom’s favorite stores and found some serious deals. I brought this $40 purple and black sweater dress for $2.97. I also got two cool sweaters. The total was $15. The recei...

One of my favorite school events to cover is Read Across America. It is the celebration of Dr. Seuss' birthday. After the last few weeks, I was looking forward to wearing a giant red and white hat. The day started out pretty cool.  I was finally starting to feel comfortable in my body. And then a teacher walked up to me and patted me on the stomach and said my son must be so happy that he is getting a brother or sister. I didn't cry or get angry. I just quietly told her that I wasn't pregnant. She started apologizing. I wish I could say it didn't get to me but it did. Between the woman at work, not being able to fit my clothes and not being able to look at myself in the mirror, this was the final straw. I have been restricting some. For the last few months, I had started to enjoy food. I know this is part of recovery. When I looked in the mirror this morning, I saw a fat slob. Everything I tried on showed how big my stomach has gotten. I have all of these emotions. ...