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This is no time for Jerry Springer shenignans

Things are sad, tense and scary right now. My mom is trying to fight but the end is very near. Today, was a day Jerry Springer would be proud of. My crazy aunt L decided to show her ass.

I feel as though it is my fault. I wanted to allow family members a chance to say their goodbyes. My aunt L is in serious denial. And honestly, she is the mayor and police chief of Crazytown. She arrived and tried to mess with my mother's IV. She upset the nurses, my aunt Em and my mother's minister. It got so bad that my brother, who had went home to nap, had to return to the hospital and involve the police. It got bad. So I know the funeral is going to be awful. Death brings out the ugly. I get the saying of death be not pretty. My family is worried about me and trying to make sure I eat. ED isn't talking. I just don't have an appetite. But I am trying. The elevators at this hospital are mirrored so I see my reflection coming and going. It does not look good.

I ate some of my lunch outside so I could have a change of scenery.

She is still hanging on. It is so painful to listen to her struggle to catch her breath. My brother left a few hours ago and said he couldn't come back. He said he couldn't watch. I understand. I will see this till the end. 

Daily Dose

1. Ensure is a lifesaver.

2. I don't wish this on anyone.

3. We don't get to choose our family.


  1. This must be such a trying time for you. And I'm sure the craziness would come out in any family. You are hanging in there, tough like your mom. I hope you can enjoy these moments with her...

  2. I'm so sorry.

    For you, Ensure will be a lifesaver. Right now I have no appetite (it's not my ED voice, just when I am upset out goes the appetite.) But I'm making myself eat three meals and drink three Ensure Plus. You try to do that too; you've come too far and I know your mother wouldn't want you to get sick again.

    As far as family - well, in my current situation I've had to set some boundaries and say I don't want their advice (if it is of a hurtful nature) on this. Maybe that's what you will have to do.


    Stay well!!!

  3. P.S. God I hate the Jerry Springer show. Lowest.common.denominator

    Just had to say that. Period. Why is he still on the air???

  4. I just found your blog!!! Stay strong, I'm glad you're doing well in recovery!!!

    take care, xoxo
    hope to hear more from you


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