Skip to main content

Rain, rain and more rain

It has rained all day. I expect Noah to show up any minute. Today has been a bad day. There is no other way to say it. i need to vent or otherwise I might hurt someone so I vent. I started my new beat on Monday. Education is important but I hate it. There is nothing to balance it out plus I hate it.
I took this at the circus last week. On days like this, I want to run away and join the circus. This little girl was amazing.

In life, we should have one major life change every other year. I have had major life changes three years back to back. I am still dealing with my mother's death as best I can. My job is my sanctuary. I expected to return to it and get back to a routine. Instead I am having to adjust to life without my mother and learned about three additional school systems. Some days, I want to take to the bed and cry. For the first time since I was hired, I hate my job. Hate it. I have told myself I will give this new arrangement six months. If I still don't feel like it is working, then I will make a change. I am not a quitter. My mother didn't raise a quitter. But I hate being an education reporter. I am very lucky in this economy to have a job especially at a daily newspaper. But deep down inside, I hate my job. I miss county government. I wonder if I should have took my friend's advice and applied for the job in Pickle Land.

This past weekend, I went to Pickle Land and had a blast. I got to see my friends, talk and for 48 hours I felt okay. But I'm not okay. I'm depressed and hanging on. The hospice in Charlotte is working on finding me a grief counselor here. Right now, I can't really afford therapy. And I don't want to talk to my friends too much.

 I am glad to get this off of my chest. I actually feel better. I think I will get me a bowl of Captain Crunch and watch Criminal Minds. Venting rocks!

I love this photo. I took it while waiting to interview some people.
Daily Dose

1. The remake of Hawaii Five-O is pretty good.
2. I found my dream pen at Rose's for $2. The pen is AWESOME!
3. Things are going to get better. I just have to have faith and patience.

Comments

  1. Sorry work is sucky right now. Hopefully it will get better. Is there any way for you to get your old beat back? Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sometimes venting is totally necessary and helpful. Trust me, I understand about work sucking sometimes. You have had so many life changes, and it makes sense that you'd crave a reprieve, or a 100% fulfilling job to dedicate yourself to. Hang in there...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I sometimes think how would it be if I was working at a circus, I find it so interesting!! The flower photo is great, reminds me of spring :)

    hang in there, and your friends would understand if you don't want to talk too much. Just do what it makes you feel better, and I'm just hoping that you will indeed feel happy and loving your job all over again!

    have a nice day, lots and lots of hugs,
    AnnaM.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You have been in my prayers, and I'm glad that you're hanging in there. I hope you can find someone to speak to about your grief, and I'm sure that your friends wouldn't mind listening! We're always here to read what you have to say, too. :)
    Sending you hugs and prayers- Shae Adele

    Ps. We're getting dumped on where I live, too. It hasn't stopped downpouring in three days, and my neighborhood has more standing water than grass. Stay dry!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Spending time with my son

Memorial Day is always special for me as a reporter and a person. It is a chance to recognize who gave their life so I and others can have the freedom we have. 
Normally, I work and get to take Memorial Day holiday on another day. This year, I got a double bonus. 




I got to spend the long weekend with my son. Things some how worked that my son’s aunt met me halfway and JJ was able to spend three days in Pickle Land with me. He had a chance to see me working and spend quality time together.

JJ is now 11. He is squarely in the pre-teen world. His voice is changing along with other things. My baby is growing up and it scares me. He got to see my new teeth and loved them. He said it was nice to see me so happy. 
We had a chance to talk and just spend some time together. And in two weeks, he returns for a two week involving my week long vacation and a bunch of day camps. It has been a good few days.
The other part is my Memorial Day weekend is this weekend. I'm going to the Lake to hang with…

Stopping ED from gaining

One of the hardest things I had to ever do was to explain my ED to my 11-year-old son. His father had talked to him about it, which I have an issue with  because it is my story and not his. But I have tried to move beyond that.

Anyway, a few weeks I talked to him about it and explained it as best I could. I told him how he is my inspiration to stay in recovery. I know he needs his mom to be healthy to help handle growing up.
One thing I told him was that my relationship with food is not like his relationship. And there will always be a struggle for me. I take it one meal at a time.
I kept all of this in mind when I went to the doctor yesterday to ask for help. In the past three months, my appetite has disappeared. I eat because I don’t want to pass out or to be hospitalized. It hasn’t been easy. I could have let ED win when I realized what was happening. I have only lost 11 pounds. To some this is not much weight but to me it is.
The old me would have been happy about it. The recovering…

Adventures at Librari-Con with Samurai Batman

Recently, JJ and I made our second journey to the 11th annual Librari-Con at the Cumberland County Public Library in Fayetteville.  This is an annual anime/graphic novel/sci-fi mini convention that featured anime viewing, panels forums, Artist Alley, Cosplay Runway and more.
What made this event super awesome was the fact that the library was opened at the same time of the event.
For a year, JJ had talked about having a costume after not being able to wear one last year. He was a Samurai Batman.
Apparently, JJ had a growth spurt in the last few weeks so there was struggle getting him into his costume, but a little pulling, binder clips and prayer got the costume on him.

I decided to go as my favorite thing – a mother/photographer/bodyguard/book nerd wearing a Wonder Woman shirt.
JJ decided to add his own special touch to it with a trident and a Flash mask for me. I’m not sure what I was supposed to have been but I played along until lunchtime.
For the first hour, he played free video game…