BBQ, trains and things

-
 It was my weekend off but I volunteered to help cover a barbecue cook off. I'm glad I went because otherwise I would have probably stayed in bed all day. It was nice being out in an open field with barbecue being cooked, a train for the kids, plenty of people and decent music. I had a good time. I was doing what I love while not wallowing in bed.

I am glad I went back to work this week because I needed to it. My beat is being changed from the county I love to cover to education. I don't like change but I don't want to be unemployed either. As Tim Gunn on Project Runway says "make it work." I'll have to this.

Annamarie from * f a k e . f a d i n g . m e m o r i e s * asked a question about if my son knows that his grandmother has died. He knows a little too well. His Memaw died and his other grandma is dying of lung cancer. My husband and I explained it to him. He took it well for a 4-year-old. At the funeral, JJ and I were seated beside my crazy aunt. Here is the conversation:

Crazy Aunt--JJ, you know your grandmother is sleeping?
JJ--No, my Memaw is not sleeping. She is dead and is in heaven. You don't tell a kid that because it will give them nightmares. Mommy, can I go sit with daddy?

My son understand in the best way a 4-year-old can. But I think it will be worst when my mother-in-law dies.

Everyone has been great here. They worried about me not eating. My appetite is shot but I am doing so-so with eating. Tonight, a friend from SC is in RR with her boyfriend visiting his kids. They want to go out to dinner. I still have issues eating with people I am not used to being around plus the funds are kind of low. I don't want to ask them to pay but what little money I have was for groceries. So I can tell them the truth or live off of ramen noodles and soup until payday. I will swallow my pride and tell her.

Overall, I am getting back into the swing of things. On Monday, I am making an appointment to talk with a grief counselor so things don't get bad. Being proactive is the best.

Daily Dose

1. I am working hard not be a hermit.

2. I had a craving for a double cheeseburger from McDonald's. I had two of them and a sundae.

3. How Do I Look is new.

Comments

  1. lifeafteranorexiaSeptember 18, 2010 at 8:22 PM

    Sorry everything is so tough right now for you, dear. I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss. Talking to a grief counselor really helped me when my father passed away. It's always good to have someone to listen, even if you don't feel very much like talking.

    Take care,

    Jess

    ReplyDelete
  2. Incredible Eating AnorexicsSeptember 22, 2010 at 2:25 PM

    i'm really sorry to read about your recent loss and difficulties. Being proactive is definately the better option than reactive...i hope you get on well with the grief counsellor. sending my best wishes and thoughts.

    L x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Angela Elain GambrelSeptember 24, 2010 at 8:34 AM

    I'm so sorry things are tough. Hang in there, you are a very strong person! Your son sounds like he's very smart; I like what he said to your "crazy aunt."

    Take care and remember to take care of yourself - you deserve it!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stopping a downward spiral

-
In the past, my birthday has always been a trigger for me to relapse or get anxious. But for the past two years, my birthday has been my birthday. A day to celebrate my birth.  Around Thanksgiving, I started feeling different. December was just a month of misery. I now realize that my meds had stopped working. So here I stand at a crossroad--I can increase the dosage and continue on my merry way or not. Remeron not only stabilizes my mood but gives me an appetite.  I haven't had one since Thanksgiving. I eat based on time. If it is 7:15 a.m., it is breakfast. By noon, I must eat lunch and dinner between 6 and 7 p.m. If I increased the dosage, the appetite comes back for awhile  but I will gain more weight. This is why I was taking Seroquel to help with anxiety.  I don't think there is a enough Seroquel in the world to deal with my anxiety. And while my therapist is being helpful, he admitted this is beyond him. So we are looking for a therapist outside of the area...
Read more

Disturbance in the world of Jack

-
Let me start by saying that I am okay. And considering the way crime is in RR, it could have been a lot worst. I keep odd hours. I can leave for work at 7:30 a.m. and sometimes I don't come home until 8 or 9 p.m.  Last Friday night, I actually got done early at 5 p.m. and went to the grocery store. While at the store, I debated canned peas or frozen peas (very important later). I ended up with canned ones because the frozen brand I like was not at Food Lion. I drive home in a fairly decent mood because I will be home before 6:30 p.m. and can watch the news. I live on a street with lots of duplexes and kids. The road running parallel to my street is very busy, no sidewalks and no street lights. People walking tend to walk in people's yards so they don't get hit by a car. Plus, pedestrians and bikers in RR, don't wear light colored clothes at night. This puts them at serious risk for injury. This is a personal pet peeve of mine.  I pull into my driveway, park in front...
Read more

RR is alive with the sounds of music

-
Music is key in my life. I don’t know what I would do without it. As a teenager, I loved to make mixtapes for friends and families. And now, I love making mix cds to listen to on long road trips home or when I am out covering NH county. I guess along with pens, magazines and libraries, music is my thing. Most of the time, when I am writing, I like to listen to music. My favorite thing is to turn on Itunes radio and just listen to various songs. It is how I discover musicians like Evans Blue or Sia. It is one thing that remained throughout my struggles with my ED. I never loss my love of music. Sometimes it was the only thing that could calm my mind when it was consumed by thoughts of ED. Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. --E. Y. Harburg Some of my favorite memories are tied to songs. I can remember my feelings being at that Dave Matthew concert. I can remember how I felt seeing my mom dance to Earth, Wind and Fire and Chic...
Read more