The mom I left on Sunday is very different to the mom I came back to early Thursday morning. She is quite chipper and very talkative. She is starting to feel better and eating more. But she is still very weak so she has a physical therapist and an occupational therapist.
I saw all of this because now that she is feeling better, she is more alert and notices everything. She noticed my brother eats everything in sight and I hardly eat anything. She said she hoped I wasn't relasping. I will admit I haven't been eating like I should be eating. I have had to cut back on my meds because I have to be alert for my mom. All of this change, uncertainty and stress is kind of taking its toll. I just don't feel like eating. My therapist has agreed to have an emergency meeting when I go home for a day on Monday. Once my mom gets out of the hospital, more of a routine can be established. Unstructured time is not my friend. The morning time is devoted to my mom. I write for two hours in the afternoon, two hours in the evening and a hour at night.
Until then, I am focusing on foods that I love to help get me through this. The hospital has an amazing grill cheese and french fries. Their salad bar is awesome and their broccoli and cheese soup is pretty decent. I went grocery shopping yesterday to stock the fridge in the room. For the first time in a longtime, I got anxious in the store. A big factor was how unfamiliar I was with the store and the fact it was so huge. We have nothing like this in RR. I brought some water, Kiwi Strawberry Snapple and orange soda. I have to have my comfort soda. I sampled some french fried onion dip. It was AWESOME. So awesome I brought a small tub of it. Along with some sandwich meats and bread.
I know I need to take care of me because I will be no good to my mom or my job. So I am taking it one meal at a time. Anymore than that and I overwhelm myself.
1. French fried onion dip.
2. My mom is getting stronger.
3. Thankful for having such supportive friends.