My mom is in the hospital. I had the scare of my life when I went to wake up around 11:45 p.m. last night. She was laying there with eyes wide open and not moving. For a few seconds, I thought she was dead. I screamed. She screamed. We had a moment. After that, I realized something was majorly wrong. After a quick confab with my aunt and called to my drunk brother. Yes, my brother used me being in town as a stress reliever. I am not mad or judging him. Being a caregiver is hard especially seeing your vibrant mom reduced to a skeletal pain ridden person. I understand. I just wish I had had some heads up. Once the three of us talked. They bundled my mom up and I prepared for the 30 minute drive to the PRES in Charlotte.
Once there, we discovered my mom was severely dehydrated, low white blood cells count, low potassium, low blood pressure, sores in her mouth from chemo and pain. Despite all of this, she never lost that bit of grit that makes her her. Here is an example.
Mom (to nurse): I'm cold. Could I please have one of those warm blankets?
Nurse: Ms. L, you are very warm and have a slight fever. We would need to take your temperature rectally to determine how high.
Mom (to me): Just put that sheet there across my feet.
It was everything my aunt and I could do to keep from laughing while the nurse was in the room. But once she left, all three of us were laughing. We needed after the night we had had. My mom was admitted into the hospital at 5:30 a.m. While we waited for her room, my aunt treated me to breakfast in the cafeteria. She said she worries about me. So I had two pancakes, sausage links and orange juice. I love dipping links in the pancake. That is some good eating. Anyway, it was nice to have a small break.
My brother is hungover so he hasn't been to hospital. My mom is furious. And she thinks I'm the good child. I'm not. I want to go home. I hate seeing her so sick.
And because her white blood cell count is so low. Visitors are restricted. My son and my nephew can't come. My husband did offer to drive JJ to the hospital so I could see him today. I declined because JJ is smart and will figure out that his mee maw is somewhere in the hospital and want to see her. He promised me, and I believe him, that JJ and I will see each other before the week is over. Wow, I know this was a lot but I needed to get it out. Foodwise, I am doing okay. So far, I have eaten every meal that my mom has been brought. It took a while to convince the nurses that a woman with sores in her mouth, is not going to eat a blt sandwich. It was a pretty decent sandwich. I think my mom was happy to see me eating. I have gotten a half a cup of jello in her and a few cups of water.
I have learned some new things about my mom:
--She is 53 years old. I never knew her true date of birth.
--She is allergic to hydrocodone. It makes her stomach hurt.
--Her driver's license picture rocks. The best picture ever taken by a person. If something happens to her, the picture is mine.
--She is not disappointed about me living so far away. She said I know how to prioritize.
--Had decided there will be no more chemo. Her doctor wants her to do five once a month sessions. "I am done. And he can suck it." Those were her exact words.
Well, I am going to make my rounds--finding magazines and checking out the cafeteria.
1. I can drive under pressure.
2. I am resisting the strong urge to restrict. She needs a strong and healthy daughter. Now only three pounds separates us.
3. The room we are in is the mansion of hospital rooms. It is huge with tons of space. It has regular chair, a reclining chair and a day bed along with shelves and a mini fridge. I'll sneak and take a picture later. If my mom sees my camera, she will freak.