The adventures of Silly Girl with special guest Flip Flop Boy

-
I have returned home for a few days. It was so great to sleep in my bed and not hear machines. I miss my mom but I needed some time away. It is great being back at work. Writing helps to sooth my mind and I can get back into a routine.

I would like to thank everyone for their kind words and support. This is a difficult time. I am trying to take care of my mother and myself.

My friends ask me how am I doing. Honestly, I don't know. I knew this day would come and tried to prepare for it. But it is still hard.


Yesterday, as I am driving on I-95 with the music blaring, I felt like a normal person. For a few moments, I didn’t have a dying mother or stressed about anything. In that moment, I was just a Silly Girl singing badly with her favorite song. I can’t sing. I have accepted I will never be on American Idol or in any type of singing competition. But I will not let this stop me from singing in the shower.
Before heading home, I got to spend an hour with JJ at Wal-Mart. My little guy has embraced flip flops. “They are the best. Thing. Ever,” he said. He was so adorable that I brought a disposable camera to take a picture of him.

My husband and I are working on being more than civil to one another. We have two key things in common. We are both parents of a beautiful boy and we both have dying mothers who mean the world to us. So we are both trying our best. Plus, before marriage, child and other things—we were best friends. The marriage is over but at least we are trying for the sake of JJ.


I am not a Wal-Mart person but I had a great time with him. I think I know every movie he has ever seen. I was quizzed on all of his favorite comic book heroes. It was the best hour. Plus, I got lots of hugs and kisses.

Daily Dose

1. Hugs and kisses from my little guy

2. Trying Brunswick Stew for the first time. I liked it.

3. Being back in my element 

Comments

  1. ValAugust 12, 2010 at 1:26 PM

    Thinking of you....get some rest.. remeber the good times and as you push forward surround ur self with friends to help yopu deal with the pain...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stopping a downward spiral

-
In the past, my birthday has always been a trigger for me to relapse or get anxious. But for the past two years, my birthday has been my birthday. A day to celebrate my birth.  Around Thanksgiving, I started feeling different. December was just a month of misery. I now realize that my meds had stopped working. So here I stand at a crossroad--I can increase the dosage and continue on my merry way or not. Remeron not only stabilizes my mood but gives me an appetite.  I haven't had one since Thanksgiving. I eat based on time. If it is 7:15 a.m., it is breakfast. By noon, I must eat lunch and dinner between 6 and 7 p.m. If I increased the dosage, the appetite comes back for awhile  but I will gain more weight. This is why I was taking Seroquel to help with anxiety.  I don't think there is a enough Seroquel in the world to deal with my anxiety. And while my therapist is being helpful, he admitted this is beyond him. So we are looking for a therapist outside of the area...
Read more

Disturbance in the world of Jack

-
Let me start by saying that I am okay. And considering the way crime is in RR, it could have been a lot worst. I keep odd hours. I can leave for work at 7:30 a.m. and sometimes I don't come home until 8 or 9 p.m.  Last Friday night, I actually got done early at 5 p.m. and went to the grocery store. While at the store, I debated canned peas or frozen peas (very important later). I ended up with canned ones because the frozen brand I like was not at Food Lion. I drive home in a fairly decent mood because I will be home before 6:30 p.m. and can watch the news. I live on a street with lots of duplexes and kids. The road running parallel to my street is very busy, no sidewalks and no street lights. People walking tend to walk in people's yards so they don't get hit by a car. Plus, pedestrians and bikers in RR, don't wear light colored clothes at night. This puts them at serious risk for injury. This is a personal pet peeve of mine.  I pull into my driveway, park in front...
Read more

RR is alive with the sounds of music

-
Music is key in my life. I don’t know what I would do without it. As a teenager, I loved to make mixtapes for friends and families. And now, I love making mix cds to listen to on long road trips home or when I am out covering NH county. I guess along with pens, magazines and libraries, music is my thing. Most of the time, when I am writing, I like to listen to music. My favorite thing is to turn on Itunes radio and just listen to various songs. It is how I discover musicians like Evans Blue or Sia. It is one thing that remained throughout my struggles with my ED. I never loss my love of music. Sometimes it was the only thing that could calm my mind when it was consumed by thoughts of ED. Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. --E. Y. Harburg Some of my favorite memories are tied to songs. I can remember my feelings being at that Dave Matthew concert. I can remember how I felt seeing my mom dance to Earth, Wind and Fire and Chic...
Read more