Waiting

-
I am waiting anxiously to hear about my mother's test results. While waiting, I have written three stories, interviewed a farmer, had leftover chili and took almost a two hour nap.

So I wait. She also had radiation today. My newspaper allows us to have one free small ad in the newspaper each year. So in addition to having her name at the top of the newspaper, she will have a happy birthday ad from JJ and I. It's nice to have a little bit of power.

I admit that I am no where near being recovered. But I refuse to let ED take over. It is nice to go in the grocery store without having an anxiety attack or grab things at the front of the store. I am slowly regaining my love of cooking and going out to eat. I guess I am appreciating the life I have. And I am tired of squandering it. It's not fair to myself, my son and especially for my mother who is fighting for her life. You only get one life so it is important to make it count. And I planned to just that. So tomorrow, I am going to see the musical Bye Bye Birdie with friends and co-workers. I am not a musical person but will keep an open mind.

Daily Dose

1. I can talk about the ins and outs of growing cotton.

2. Leftover homemade chili taste better the second day.

3. Knowing that mean people get theirs in the end.

Comments

  1. KimMarch 4, 2010 at 5:31 PM

    Haha, enjoy the musical. I'm not a musical person either, but it's fun to get out for stuff like that. I'm glad you're fighting so hard versus your eating disorder. That's really great that you're getting out, enjoying eating, etc... especially when there's so much going on! That's such a great accomplishment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SairsMarch 5, 2010 at 4:43 AM

    I really hope your mum is okay. I've never been through what you are going through right now but all I can say is I'm thinking of you and I really hope it's okay. You sound like you're doing really well food wise. Keep up the good work!
    *hugs*
    Sarah

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stopping a downward spiral

-
In the past, my birthday has always been a trigger for me to relapse or get anxious. But for the past two years, my birthday has been my birthday. A day to celebrate my birth.  Around Thanksgiving, I started feeling different. December was just a month of misery. I now realize that my meds had stopped working. So here I stand at a crossroad--I can increase the dosage and continue on my merry way or not. Remeron not only stabilizes my mood but gives me an appetite.  I haven't had one since Thanksgiving. I eat based on time. If it is 7:15 a.m., it is breakfast. By noon, I must eat lunch and dinner between 6 and 7 p.m. If I increased the dosage, the appetite comes back for awhile  but I will gain more weight. This is why I was taking Seroquel to help with anxiety.  I don't think there is a enough Seroquel in the world to deal with my anxiety. And while my therapist is being helpful, he admitted this is beyond him. So we are looking for a therapist outside of the area...
Read more

Disturbance in the world of Jack

-
Let me start by saying that I am okay. And considering the way crime is in RR, it could have been a lot worst. I keep odd hours. I can leave for work at 7:30 a.m. and sometimes I don't come home until 8 or 9 p.m.  Last Friday night, I actually got done early at 5 p.m. and went to the grocery store. While at the store, I debated canned peas or frozen peas (very important later). I ended up with canned ones because the frozen brand I like was not at Food Lion. I drive home in a fairly decent mood because I will be home before 6:30 p.m. and can watch the news. I live on a street with lots of duplexes and kids. The road running parallel to my street is very busy, no sidewalks and no street lights. People walking tend to walk in people's yards so they don't get hit by a car. Plus, pedestrians and bikers in RR, don't wear light colored clothes at night. This puts them at serious risk for injury. This is a personal pet peeve of mine.  I pull into my driveway, park in front...
Read more

RR is alive with the sounds of music

-
Music is key in my life. I don’t know what I would do without it. As a teenager, I loved to make mixtapes for friends and families. And now, I love making mix cds to listen to on long road trips home or when I am out covering NH county. I guess along with pens, magazines and libraries, music is my thing. Most of the time, when I am writing, I like to listen to music. My favorite thing is to turn on Itunes radio and just listen to various songs. It is how I discover musicians like Evans Blue or Sia. It is one thing that remained throughout my struggles with my ED. I never loss my love of music. Sometimes it was the only thing that could calm my mind when it was consumed by thoughts of ED. Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. --E. Y. Harburg Some of my favorite memories are tied to songs. I can remember my feelings being at that Dave Matthew concert. I can remember how I felt seeing my mom dance to Earth, Wind and Fire and Chic...
Read more