Skip to main content

One day, one meal at a time


I can't believe January is over. It seems like yesterday that the new year was rung in and celebrated. Between my  ED issues and work, it feels like I  haven't had much time to breathe. 

Right now, I am taking things one day and one meal at a time. Anything more and I'll freak out. This morning was rough. I found a skirt in the closet that I had never wore. After putting the outfit together on my bed, I showered and put it on. It was when I was putting on  my black tights that I became fixated on how huge my thighs looked. I have to be at work at 8 a.m. so I am having a freak out at 7:25. 

So using the techniques that my therapist and I had discussed, I talked myself from the proverbial ledge. i am pretty proud of myself because I feel like it was small victory against ED. I have come a long way to let it defeat. Right now, there are some bumps in the road but i am trying. So it is one day and one meal at a time.

Daily Dose

1. It's Friday and I don't  have to work this weekend!

2. Finding Rice Works (brown rice crisps think chips) Sweet Chili to snack on

3. Five days until I meet my new therapist.

Comments

  1. Happy Friday! Great job on talking yourself down. Hope the meeting with your new therapist goes well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad you were able to do some self talk to feel better or at least tolerate the situation you found yourself in. I know ED can be really painful and nasty at times. I am glad you are pushing through. Thinking of you!
    *hugs*
    Sarah

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happy New Year!!!!

Happy New Year! I will admit that 2017 wasn't the worst year of my life but it wasn't the best. I feel like I spent the entire time trying to go uphill. And when I was close to the top, I would get knocked back down. Some high points were my son turned 12 and I got a cat.

Anyway, it is a new year and it is full of possibilities. I can feel in my gut that things are going to be better this year. I have set some public goals and one very private goal.

My first goal is to stop taking things so seriously. I want to enjoy life more.
This leads to my second goal, which is not to work so hard. I feel like I base my life around work. In 2017, I started saying no more and focusing on me. In 2018, I want to have  more of a work/life balance.
My third goal is to volunteer more. I don't just want to write about volunteering but to actually do it.
I will always continue to try reading more.
I want to be a better mom for my son and a better friend and family member to others.
I want to put mys…

Unpacking more than boxes

It took me roughly two weeks to pack up my life in Pickle Land and move to South Carolina. It was two weeks of packing during every spare moment I had.

It is taking me much longer to unpack. I am about halfway there. A few weeks ago, I found some of my photo albums and an album with articles I wrote while in college. The first story that I had ever written was in there. I showed it to my son.

I took my son on a trip down memory lane. I showed him pictures of me as a child, in high school, in school, and with his dad.

One photo that made him pause was a photo of me at 73 pounds in a bikini. It was taken at a Memorial Day cookout when I was in the mid-20s. I can still hear the sounds my friends made when I stepped outside to the pool. At the time, I thought they were amazed by how good I looked. No, they were shocked by how skinny I was.

Years ago, my son's father shared my ED story with him. I am not ashamed of my fight with ED but it was my story to tell. Plus, my son was about si…

Stopping ED from gaining

One of the hardest things I had to ever do was to explain my ED to my 11-year-old son. His father had talked to him about it, which I have an issue with  because it is my story and not his. But I have tried to move beyond that.

Anyway, a few weeks I talked to him about it and explained it as best I could. I told him how he is my inspiration to stay in recovery. I know he needs his mom to be healthy to help handle growing up.
One thing I told him was that my relationship with food is not like his relationship. And there will always be a struggle for me. I take it one meal at a time.
I kept all of this in mind when I went to the doctor yesterday to ask for help. In the past three months, my appetite has disappeared. I eat because I don’t want to pass out or to be hospitalized. It hasn’t been easy. I could have let ED win when I realized what was happening. I have only lost 11 pounds. To some this is not much weight but to me it is.
The old me would have been happy about it. The recovering…