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A lazy Sunday afternoon except it's Saturday

When it Rome, do what the Romans do. Today has been a lazy tv watching and magazine reading day. I wanted my last day here at the hospital with my mom to be peaceful. It was! We ate our meals together. Watched disaster movies on the Sci Fi channel. And now we are watching Bridezillas. My mom agrees there is something about watching a train wreck unfold in front of you. It was nice.

For dinner, she had chicken pan pie. I had a nice salad. And for dessert, we had little cups of ice cream that nurse brought us. My mom is a take-no-prisoners type person. Growing up, declarations of love and hugs were given. It was understood that she loved me. It wasn't until I was 22 and in the psych ward for an almost suicide attempt (combination of depression and ED) that she admitted she loved me. I was a grandma's girl so I figured my mother and I were just a lost cause. This is the reason I have lived up to 5 hours away. We have always did well in separate locations. When my grandmother died in 1998, I pretty much figured her funeral would be the last time I would talk to my mother. But my mother wasn't having it. I have to admit she fought hard to stay in my life. It started with a 10-minute call once every two weeks. A 30-minute once a month in person visit. It wasn't easy to get where we are now. But I am glad we both worked hard at it.

I have lived in this hospital on and off for a month. My wallet took a hit but I don't regret it. I got to spend time with my mother while she is still lucid and feisty as ever. I will miss her and the dessert area in the cafeteria. I worry about her and the future. And she worries about me--
MOM--I am going to miss you. You have spoiled me.
ME--You deserve it.
MOM--I worry that you don't eat enough. I know it is hard. Promise me, you'll try harder and see your therapist person.
MOM--I would hate to have to get well. And then I have to kick your ass.
ME--Point gotten.

My mom rocks. She is starting to have trouble holding cups and utensils with her good hand. She said it is a side effect from the chemo. I think it is because of the tumor in her upper arm that I discovered while putting lotion on her arm. It may not be a tumor but it is significant mass of something. It feels good to say this out loud. I haven't told the three musketeers but plan to talk to the doctor in the a.m.

Tomorrow, I head for home. The new boss has laid down some new rules. So I go from one stress to another one. But I'm not worried. What will be will be.

Daily Dose

1. A shout out to the dessert area in the cafeteria of the hospital. Some of the best desserts I have ever tasted.

2. A big thanks to the nurses, techs and others who have been so kind to my mom.

3. Bridezillas is quite interesting!!!!


  1. I am glad you have some good things to take away and it's good your mum is thinking of you as well. I hope you are okay and I hope you have a safe trip back home.

  2. That's great how you and your mom worked on and improved your relationship over the years.

  3. It's so great you have developed that connection. My mother died when I was a girl and it always hurts when people let their maternal relationships die, when the mother herself has not.

    I hope things go well with your mother's health, and your on : ]

  4. I am glad that you and your mom have gotten close again. It is tough to create a bond after so much distance. Hope everything gets better!


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