Appreciation
Thanks for all the positive comments and energy. I think I doing okay. The doctor told my mother-in-law that the best case scenario for her is one year. My father-in-law is not doing okay with this. My husband went to eat. JJ is at a playdate with his cousins so I hit the library. Some of my best thinking and relaxing has been done at the library. I am still trying to wrap my head around all of this. I mean how do you tell a three-year-old that the lady he had deemed the "best woman ever" is dying. So for right now, he knows nothing. We'll figure the rest out later.
I talked to my mother which made me feel better. My mother told me that my mother-in-law is stronger than her. "I told the doctors not to tell me how long I had."--she said. "I'll know when I wake up in heaven with your grandparents." Eleven years ago, I would not have been able to talk to her. At the time, we had a 30 minute rule--we could only deal with each other in 30 minute increments. Also at the time, my grandmother was dying of bone cancer. Things were so bad between my mom and I that I decided the day my grandmother was buried was probably the last time I would see my family. My mother knew this and made it her mission not to let me get away. And her effort made me put effort into rebuilding our relationship. I am saying all this because we both have come a long way in a family where feelings, emotions and sickness is not discussed. My mother also thanked me for taking such good care of her. She said she was sorry that I lost my job but she was glad because I was there for her and she really appreciated it. She didn't have to thank me because she's my mom. We do what we have to do for the ones we love. So I will pass along the love, appreciation and support to my in-laws and hubby. They're going to need it.
On a happier note, an article I wrote for the newspaper is getting rave reviews. The editor texted me that a lot of people are talking about it. I am just happy to be writing again.
Daily Dose
1. My mom and MIL (mother-in-law)
2. Word Girl (Has helped to build my son's vocabulary!)
I talked to my mother which made me feel better. My mother told me that my mother-in-law is stronger than her. "I told the doctors not to tell me how long I had."--she said. "I'll know when I wake up in heaven with your grandparents." Eleven years ago, I would not have been able to talk to her. At the time, we had a 30 minute rule--we could only deal with each other in 30 minute increments. Also at the time, my grandmother was dying of bone cancer. Things were so bad between my mom and I that I decided the day my grandmother was buried was probably the last time I would see my family. My mother knew this and made it her mission not to let me get away. And her effort made me put effort into rebuilding our relationship. I am saying all this because we both have come a long way in a family where feelings, emotions and sickness is not discussed. My mother also thanked me for taking such good care of her. She said she was sorry that I lost my job but she was glad because I was there for her and she really appreciated it. She didn't have to thank me because she's my mom. We do what we have to do for the ones we love. So I will pass along the love, appreciation and support to my in-laws and hubby. They're going to need it.
On a happier note, an article I wrote for the newspaper is getting rave reviews. The editor texted me that a lot of people are talking about it. I am just happy to be writing again.
Daily Dose
1. My mom and MIL (mother-in-law)
2. Word Girl (Has helped to build my son's vocabulary!)
Do you have a link to the article? I'm glad you were able to talk to your mom. It's hard to set up a healthy relationship when it hasn't been that way in the past, but it sounds like it's going well. As far as talking to your son, I'm sure you'll find the right words at the right time. Glad to hear you're doing ok in spite of everything...
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you found some peace and solace in the library - I have too in the past. Use anything that works! I wouldn't tell your son anything - when and only if necessary to only say she's ill. My son idolized my mom - she died when he was almost four. I was amazed frankly that he was resilient enough to inquire about her briefly and then it all passed. A lot had to do with how I handled myself over it. I never let him see my grief - my sadness yes, but no hysterics. Now, as an adult, he says he doesn't remember her much at all, just the stories I tell him of her. I share this only so you won't stress yourself out unnecessarily - there is quite enough on your plate!
ReplyDeleteit's so amazing that you and your mom have worked out all that you have. i keep remembering that she had you at 15. you've both obviously worked so very hard.
ReplyDeletei'm really sorry about your mother-in-law. it's scarey. i lost my mom and dad three years ago, and it was too painful to describe. it sounds like you're wonderful support for your family. hope you have time to take care of yourself too.
congrats on the article!!!