Thursday, September 26, 2013

Feeling more like myself


I have learned something valuable about recovery. It takes many steps and it will never really be complete for me. I have had a minor set back but I am continuing to move forward. 
One way to keep going was to make some vegetarian chili. It is vegetarian because I forgot to put to thaw out the chicken to put in it. It is quite tasty and spicy. Maybe a little to spicy but it is still good.

I guess watching all those cooking shows on Sunday afternoon have paid off.

I must apologize for my previous rant about my co-worker. It was a mixture of frustration, sadness and anger. I have since figured out the best way to handle it without doing anything that will get me fired or put in jail. I am not big on change but change is inevitable. It is what keeps the world going.

Between the new job and my upcoming 40th birthday, it is just hard. I am trying to keep everything in balance. And cooking helps me. I turn on some 80s music, pull out a cookbook and some pans. And take it a few ingredients at a time.

Currently, I am writing this while listening to the Rolling Stones. Headphones play a big key in my survival and sanity.

DAILY DOSE

1. My baby got three As and one B on his progress report. YAY!! But he does talk a little to much in class. He gets this from his dad.

2. Feeling better!

3. My apartment is starting to look like an apartment!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I'll get it together, I hope

One of my favorite commercials is the GEICO car insurance Pillsbury Doughboy one. It is where he is going through airport security and keeps doing his trademark laugh. Near the end of it, the Doughboy says "I'll get it together, I promise."

Posing for my newspaper photo that runs on the opinion page. 


This is how I feel right now. I can't seem to get it together. My new job has me making more money and a nice title but I am still doing the same thing. I'm not bored but things are so unstructured. Essentially,  I can do whatever I want as long as there are four stories in each of the two issues.

I realized this morning while getting ready for work. I'm depressed and sad. I miss my old job, friends and the structure of the job.

The folks at my new job are nice but we  do our own thing. There isn't much team work. The other reporter is different and pretty much does whatever she wants. She bregrudingly gave up the education beat so I would have something to do. Basically, I have hustled to find stories and hit the pavement.

I need to vent and this is my moment. She can't write. We are night and day. Even though, there is a loose dress code. I dress nice because I am meeting the public. A public ranging from a superintendent to youth in the Boys and Girls Club. Today, I am wearing khakis and a really nice Anne Klein sweater that I found at the Goodwill. She is wearing a black and white t-shirt with zebra jeggings and tennis shoes. When I saw her, I actually went speechless. I couldn't even say "good morning." I mean I took the time to iron my white dress shirt to go with my sweater. I know I must sound like a very awful person.

We are reporters. We represent the newspaper. When people think of it, they will remember us. But this is how things have been for the last 12 years that she has been with the newspaper. I refuse to lower my standard. It is not how I am or how I was raised. Maybe, I should chill the out.

I had to go to my happy place -- the library. It was there in the quiet calmness that I realize that I can't change others. I can only change myself. And now after visiting the library, a cute thrift shop and Long John Silver's, I am back at work.

I have got to get it together because no structure means no eating. I started the year as a size 10. Currently, I am in the  four to six size range. I am eating but not enough to really fill out a size six. I have to get it together. If it is noticeable to me, it will be noticeable to others. Especially my son and I don't want to worry him.

I can't afford to be sick or without work. When you start a new job, there is no insurance for 90 days. This means no therapist or med check. I have a doctor's appointment next week, which will keep me in meds until the insurance kicks in.

I just got to get it together.

DAILY DOSE

1. I am in search of the perfect pair of boots for fall/winter. Boots I plan to live in.

2. It's Wednesday. Time for my hump day call to JJ.

3. Being thankful for all of my blessing.




Monday, September 16, 2013

A weekend of fun, food and Iron Man


My son is a big fan of comic book superheroes. Since he was a wee one, he has loved Iron Man. JJ likes them all but Iron Man is his absolute favorite. 

Last week, while searching online, I came across a small Comic Con being held in Florence SC. I knew it was the event for JJ and I to attend.

So for the weekend, he had two surprises – me and the Comic Con. He loved both. On Sunday, we got up early and drove to Florence, which is a hour from where JJ lives. He dressed as Iron Man and me in a Wonder Woman t-shirt.



JJ had to have been the happiest seven-year-old in the world. He looked at various comic books, met different characters and was able to buy some stuff (courtesy of Wonder Woman).



I feel so blessed with this new job so we will be  able to have adventures like this with my son. A few months ago, it was hard scrapping together gas money for a simple visit.

JJ had a rough start in school. He got sick and missed several days of school. Sunday was a chance for him to be Iron Man.



Other weekend adventures included seeing the movie Turbo, visiting Kristy Kreme to watch doughnuts being made and allowing mom to have some retail therapy.

I am tired today because I left late on Sunday. It is a good tired because I got to spent priceless time with my son.

DAILY DOSE

1. Spending one on one time with JJ.

2. Having a hot out of the oven doughnut from Krispy Kreme.

3. Being able to be Iron Man’s side kick. 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Changes will not kill ya but makes life interesting

I am still getting used to my new reality and job. I still pinching myself because I am actually making more money and getting to do what I like.

Many of my friends and former colleagues couldn't understand why I would leave a daily newspaper for a smaller one. I will be able to write, pagnationate and have a life. I have to say it is weird getting home before dark and before 6 p.m.

I have spent the past week meeting people and doing the stories that other reporter doesn't want. But I know, the editor has high expectations for me. Expectations that include meaty stories and helping to layout and design the newspaper.

The staff is small and quiet. There were 40-something at my previous job while there is only six here. It is an nice, interesting group of people. Everything is very laid back and casual. I can wear jeans again. YAY!!!

All in all, it has been a great experience. I had a chance to write a story about 175 year old church. Instead of four school systems, I only have one. I am using my free time to revamp my apartment so it looks like a sane adult lives there instead of an obsessive hoarder. I found this really cool coffee table on clearance and put it together.

Plans for this week include covering my first school board meeting and heading down to SC to see JJ. He has been under the weather so I going to surprise him.

I am a huge creature of habit so switching jobs and coming out of my comfort zone wasn't easy. But it didn't kill and will continue to add to life adventure series.

DAILY DOSE
1. So thankful for my new job.
2. Will see JJ in four days!
3. Beginning to enjoy life again!

Sunday, September 1, 2013

New Beginning

It has been awhile since I posted. Long story short while on vacation another newspaper reached out to me. We has whirlwind courtship. On Tuesday, I will start my new job as assistant editor of a newspaper in Virginia. I won't have to move but there will a 30 minute commute. It is an amazing opportunity that I didn't seek. This paper wanted me. So I am stepping way out of my comfort zone. I am doing this so I can have a better life and if I do well, I could end up near JJ.
My last day at my other job was Friday. I am excited, nervous and scared but I am ready.
But more than anything I wish I could tell my mom. She would be so proud.

DAILY DOSE
1. This is so surreal.
2. Being so blessed.
3. Being able to afford to see JJ more.

My home library is complete!!!!!

  I write a book column for Duplin Times in Kenansville, N.C. called the Book Nerd. This is my May column, which is about me finally comple...