Sunday, March 25, 2012

Paying it forward

For the last few months, I have had a rough time with ED. Some days almost paralyzing. Many have been in my corner but my co-worker and friend D has been there with mixture of compassion and tough love. I have wondered if I would ever be able to pay her back for all she has done.

Today, I have the chance. She called me this morning with some very sad news. Her 18-year-old daughter found out her son has died in utero. She was about four or five months pregnant. I know what she is going through. I have been in her shoes. It was hard for me in my 30s. I can't even begin to imagine being what she is feeling but I have a pretty good idea. In a moment like this, you need your mommy. And mine was there for me during this devastating time. I told that her daughter needs her mom. I would work for her with no questions asked. It will be rough because the other reporter is on his honeymoon. Years ago, at my other paper, everyone took care of me. I will take care of D in the only way I can--by giving her time with her daughter. Sometimes the best medicine is mom.

From what D told me, the baby has some developmental issues and probably passed away about a week ago. Her daughter is devastated and will have to have a D &C tomorrow. D has to work since it is my day off. I told her I will work for free in order for her to be at that D & C. I calmly told her what it was like to have a D & C when you were six months pregnant. It is heart breaking. I told her--"Your daughter needs you. Screw the newspaper."

DAILY DOSE


1. Surviving my whirlwind of a Saturday--Working, attending a wedding, working, going to the reception, working


2. Knowing the value of being a mother


3. Sitting by the window enjoying a rainy day

Friday, March 23, 2012

Battling food poisoning

It has been awhile since I posted. Between work and trying to find freelance jobs, I have been swamped. Nothing brings life pretty to halt like food poisoning.

If you have ever had it, I know you can remember perfectly which meal did you in. For me, it was some homemade herb chicken risotto. The meal was amazing. In fact, one of the best I have cooked in a long time. I enjoyed every bite and ate all of the leftovers. Hours later, my beautiful meal became a horrible memory.

I was so sick that it scared me. A week later, I am still trying to get my stomach back to normal. Thank God for soup and applesauce.  And as sick as I was, the only thing I could think was how will I get my two stories a day done.

My adventure started on my two days off (Sunday and Monday). I worked for a few hours Tuesday and had to go home. Wednesday and Thursday, I was at work powering through weak and exhausted but no vomiting or other stuff. I went to the doctor Thursday because I still wasn't feeling right. He gently lectured me on why people have sick days. Long story short--My long awaited three day weekend turned into sick time. The doctor wanted to put me in the hospital for exhaustion. Moral of the story--I need to take better care of myself.

This was the theme of this week's therapy session with Caroline. I need to chill out. The rest fest was very relaxing and much needed. I watched movies, read mags and sat on my deck.  So being nice to myself is now a big priority!

Daily Dose


1. Getting my hair cut. I feel pretty.


2. Leaving work at 5 p.m. like a normal person.


3. Having my stomach almost back to normal.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Not sad or glad just very mad!!

I am so happy that it is the weekend! Sleeping late, watching movies and no work!!! It has been quite a week. On Thursday, I learned my stats (how much I  have done at the newspaper) for the February. For me a month represents, a daily newspaper that comes out five days a week, a monthly magazine and a quarterly that comes out four times a year.

 For February, I wrote 47 stories (36 newspaper, three indepth pieces, 5 for women's mag and three for the Lake). I took 96 photos, one video and several photo galleries. I am tired just thinking of what I did. Apparently, it is not enough. The higher ups think I could do more since I am the education reporter. One of my co-workers had 70 stories for the month. 70!!

Wanna know how he got that number. He is the crime reporter and we are in the middle of bad crime times in RR. He doesn't go to crime scenes. Police call him to give him the stories plus he gets press releases from them. Some days, he has 5-7 stories this way. The publisher and CEO will not see how his stories are one sourced and small. They will see the 70. I am angry because it looks like I am not doing shit. And I am. But me with 47 and D with 43, we look we are the biggest slackers and he is carrying us. Honestly, it makes me want to throw in the towel.

I am not sad. I am mad.

Realistically, the most I could raise my numbers is 50 to 55 stories a month. Anymore, I would be hospitalized for exhaustion. I am so grateful to have a job in an area with an 11 percent unemployment rate. The newsroom is the backbone of this newspapers. Without us providing content, there is no newspaper. And if I may say so, we put out a damn good newspaper. I am not a quitter but I feel like throwing in the towel. But I will not. I will keep going until I am no longer needed or if I find something else. Thanks for letting me vent!!


DAILY DOSE
1. Thankful for having a job!

2. Rediscovering my love of cooking! I look forward to cooking dinner each night.

3. Refusing to let life consume me!