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Showing posts from February, 2011

Trying to get back to my happy place

This has been a difficult week but thank God for supportive friends. A big thank you to everyone who left words of encouragement. I wish I could say that I let all of this roll off of my back. It didn't but I am still standing.

In the past, I worried about telling others about my ED and recovery. I am so glad that I confided to my friends at work because it made things a little more bearable. Her comments made me realize that I still have some body issues that need to address. But I have come a long way in the past few months. If this had happen a year ago, I would have been devastated and probably restricted like crazy. I work hard to keep ED's thoughts muted. This week, they came in loud.

All of this wouldn't have been so bad. But she decided to elect herself as my own personal food police. If I was at the snack machine, she watched and shook her head. It was little things like this that started to get to me.The breaking point came Thursday at lunch. I was in the break r…

How one comment can make you feel like s**%!

Today started out as a pretty decent day. For once, I didn't stress about myself in the mirror. Wearing my favorite sweater, munching on some pumpkin bread and feeling pretty good. Then, I fried my computer and a co-worker told me I looked fat. The conversation:
Me--This pumpkin bread is delicious.
Her--Have you gained some weight?
Me--Yes, I weight this I have in my whole life.
Her--I can tell. It shows in your stomach. You look fat. Maybe you shouldn't snack as much.
I was speechless. She works in another part of the building so we really don't know each other. Others in the room were silent. 

I tossed my bread in the trash and left the room. I would love to tell you that I told her off. But instead, I cried in the photo room in the dark. Since gaining a healthy weight, I have had some body issues. I know my stomach isn't flat. I have exercising and watching what I eat within reason. But who tells another person that they look fat. It was rude and uncalled for.

Two …

Let's Go Crazy

It has been awhile since I updated. Between going to visit JJ and working, I have slammed with work. All week I have looked forward to just vegging. So I did. Thank God for tv marathons. They are for tired. It was a beautiful weekend so I managed to squeeze in a walk, clean out my car, make the living room look decent and cook a few meals.

I marinaded some chicken breasts in some herbs and garlic. It was pretty good. Served with some garden peas and bread, it was a nice meal.

I actually put away most of the laundry I had done two weeks ago, which is good considering it's laundry time again. Edwise, I am doing okay. I have had some freak out moments. I boxed up some pants and other clothes that I no longer fit. If I keep them, I will want to figure out a way to make them fit. So, I give to someone who fits them.

Two of my favorite movies were on tv this weekend--Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Purple Rain.  Both have awesome soundtracks especially Purple Rain.

Daily Dose
1. See the…

Sweet escape

We all have good days and bad days. This week has been a rollercoaster between the two with the demands of my job and life. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I am leaving early in the a.m. to see my sweet JJ. He doesn't know I am coming. I can't wait. It will be nice to be around someone who geniunely loves me and will me plenty of hugs and kisses. He is my valentine.

I am so glad he exists because there days everything is overwhelming. It is nice to hear about a day where the biggest worry is deciding between chocolate and plain milk. Or a discussion on why Iron Man is the best movie ever. He make me laugh with his comments. He is my sunshine when days are cloudy and gray. He will never know how many times he has kept me from doing something stupid and regretful. Whenever ED starts whispering, I think about him. A few months when we went out to eat, he told me it was nice to see me eating. After talking with him, I realized that he thought I was some sort of supe…

We like to party

Or at least in my mind. The madness that is the Super Bowl is over.  I was invited to several get togethers but chose to stay home. Last week was pretty rough at work. I slept in Sunday until 11:30 a.m. For there, I created my own party for one. I had teriyaki chicken that I had marinated, french onion dip, miniature chocolate cupcakes, honey barbecue chicken wings, tons of red punch, honey butter toast and chicken salad. It was a nice spread that I eating on for the rest of the week. It started as an afternoon of pure laziness filled with magazines, the Sunday paper and marathon of Toddlers and Tiarias. This show has become my new guilty pleasure.

My favorite is this little girl name Mackenzie. This child is a piece of work. My thing--you can't be a little diva with a pacifer in your mouth. I flipped the Super Bowl and that marathon. I am not a football fan so I tried not to fall asleep. The Glee episode was okay. I am not a Gleek but have friends who are so I promised them I wou…