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Showing posts from January, 2011

Heart Still Beats

I have had a pretty good week. I am relaxing on the couch after spending the day in Rocky Mount. RR is great but doesn't have bookstore, a Target or a Goodwill. If I want those three, I  have to leave. Today, I went to Rocky Mount.

My first stop on little adventure was Books-A-Million. It was nice to have a red velvet cupcake, a cup of hot chocolate and a book. I soaked it all in and love it. My next stop was Target. I spent an hour and half in there and didn't buy a thing. I miss that store.

The last stop was at the Goodwill. I brought five dresses as a reward (more on that in a few). And a cute pair of red pumps. The real purpose for going to Rocky Mount was to take pictures for a magazine article I am writing about the children's museum. I had a great time but wish JJ was there. The exhibit was on dinosaurs. They moved and made sounds. It was so cool. I have added it to the list of places that I plan to take him when he comes to RR for a visit in a few weeks.

Back to gi…

Today was a fairytale

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Today has been the most awesome day. I was named the employee of the year for my newspaper. I am shocked. I am speechless.

Once I got the news, the plaque and the congratulations, I picked up the phone. I wanted to call my mom. Even though, she's not here. She knows. And I think she is very proud of me.  This is why recovery is so important to me.  2010Actually, yesterday was the most awesome day. I was named the employee of the year for my newspaper. I am still shocked and just amazed.

For the last few months, I feel like I have been struggling. I had D take a picture of me with the plaque today. The plaque is nice and shiny.

Once I got the news, the plaque and the congratulations, I picked up the phone. I wanted to call my mom. Even though she's not here, I think she is very proud of me.  This is why recovery is so important to me.  I can't do this job at half capacity.

I have always felt I was send to RR for a reason. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I belo…

We Are Who We Are

 In order to get a three day weekend, I worked hard. Was it worth it?  I got my hair cut in a bob, did laundry and went grocery shopping. It ws nice. D was given three huge garbage bags for her daughters. After going through them, they gave them to me to see if there was any thing for me.

While looking, I had a small moment. A lot of the clothes were a size 0. A lot of people think I am a size 0. I was when I first came to RR. But thanks to medication and a good therapist, I am size three or four. Sometimes that unnerves me but most of the time I am proud. I look healthy and not scary sick.  But back to the clothes.

There are three huge garbage bags of clothing, shoes and belts. I am giddy with excitement. Those that don't fit will be donate to a lady I did story on recently. She runs an unofficial clothes closet out of her home. I think this is AWESOME. So I want to do my part and help out.

My three day weekend was spend on the couch with tons of magazines and Buffy the …

Alive and Kicking

I woke up feeling refreshed and recharged. I had Monday off from work. I didn’t get out of bed until about 2 p.m.  I did some unpacking.

I haven’t been as diligent as I should so there are boxes in the kitchen and tons in the spare bedroom. It is so sad that I have so many clothes that I am not missing the ones still packed.

I got the news yesterday that the man who hired me at my current paper died on Friday. I will always be grateful to him for taking a chance on a shy girl with only weekly newspaper experience. Without him, I don’t think I would have made it to the big time.

I talked with JJ’s father last night. We are continuing to be on more friendly tones with one another. His mother is nearing the last stages of lung cancer so things are tense and sad with the family. I know what he is going through so I am trying to be there for him and JJ.

I love answering surveys and I saw this one on someone’s blog so I decided to do it. This is in place of the Daily Dose.

Four Words/Phras…

Sweet Emotion

Today was a good day. I am tired as hell but it was good. I wrote four stories. Two made the front page and look awesome with the photos I took.  I will sleep good tonight.

My living room finally looks like a living room. There are still boxes in the kitchen, spare bedroom and the hall but the living room is open for guests. At this store that sells all kinds of odds and ends, I found two black swivel bar stools so now I can eat the bar instead on the couch. My little adobe is coming together. For the first time in a long time I feel like an adult. 

To celebrate, I did a happy dance in my living room to "In My House" by the Mary Jane Girls. 

Tomorrow will be a fun day. I am headed to Colonial Heights, Virginia to visit Books-a-Million and Target. I just want to remember what it is like having those in the same city I live in. Plus, I get to have a red velvet cupcake. In the afternoon, I will go see D's daughter in a theater production. And that evening will be the Golde…

The Dog Days are Gone

We are bracing for a snow and ice event here. I hit the grocery store yesterday so I have bread and milk. The milk is to make blueberry muffins. I am starting to recover my inner chef. Before ED took over my life, I wanted to be a chef and own my own restaurant.  If things had went according to plan, I would be have probably had my own cooking show.


Since moving into my own place, I have made homemade sloppy joes and spaghetti. I’ll have to remember to take some pictures to share of my culinary fun.

I had a great weekend. I went to D’s house at the Lake. We sat around and talked. And since I was off my medication. I had a few drinks. (I am now officially back on the meds.) She doesn’t have cable but she had this channel that shows all kinds of music videos from the 50s to today. It was nice to see Wang Chung along with Katy Perry and Weezer. It was nice to veg out and have some fun.

At one point, I ate a bowl of chicken and rice. I didn’t think about it. I just ate. There was no ana…

Say You'll Haunt Me

I have been on medication for about two months. I can see and feel the difference. My attitude has improved but my body issues are in high gear.

ED has returned. She constantly whispers. Today for the first time in a month, I skipped breakfast and lunch.
I have curves and look pretty good. My friends tell me I no longer look frail or fragile. But to me,  I am fat and hideous. I hate my clothes are snugged.  I have been avoiding mirrors.

Last week, my prescription ran out and needed to be refilled. The script is still in my purse. I have thought about tearing it up. But this week, I have been a roller coaster of emotions. I believe I am one of those people who need something  to regulate them. I am on the road to health but I am so scared because I take comfort in being thin and in control. The medication makes me hungry all of the time. But it helps with the depression and ED's whisperings.

I am 37 years old and there is only so much more my body can take now. I have so much to asp…

New Year, New Horizons

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This is the fourth day of the new year and I feel awesome. I had an exciting and peaceful weekend.

I went to a party on New Year's Eve. The first time in a long time. I had a pretty good time. I got all dressed up and even put on lipstick and curled my hair. Before attending the party in pickleland, I worked about 10 hours, showered and got ready and then drove 2 hours to the party. It was nice to be around others.


On the first day of 2011, I did what I do best--being reporter girl. I wrote a touching story on a little girl named Emma, who is about to turn one with trisomy 13. Trisomy 13 is a chromosome disorder rarer than Down Syndrome.  She has an extra 13th chromosome in every cell in her body. Most babies with severe chromosome abnormalities die before birth.When she was born, she was given two days to live by doctors. But she has shown them. She has developmentally delayed. Emma is my new hero. This little girl has defied the odds and will continue. I feel so blessed to ha…